I used to be part of another online anxiety ground when I had very bad panic attacks a couple of years ago, but since then they have got much better and I am no where near what I was like before, so I stopped posting and reading things online because part of me thought it just fed my anxiety. The problem is, it seems to be evolving into something new because I never really treated it, I just learnt to teach myself how to be calm and how to know what is real and when i'm just winding myself up in my head. I've started to have more symptons that are closer to OCD, and I am now very afraid of the dark, which is ridiculous because I'm nearly 21. I still think about my health anxiety all the time but I'm dealing with it differently now, and I am scared it will get worse again if I don't eventually try medication or therapy. It takes me about half an hour to an hour to even get into my bed now because i'm convinced that doing mindless things a number of times will help.. I just wondered if anyone else has had anything like this, and if anyone had any tips on how to get past it/any methods you have before it gets worse?
I also have a boyfriend and I find it hard to talk about this with him, but I wish I could find a way, because it is not fair on him when he asks me what's wrong and I can't find any words and just stay silent. Its like I know whats wrong but whenever I go to talk, nothing comes out, it gets stuck in my throat and I feel really stupid. Staying this stuff to someone who doesn't have it themselves is scary because obviously you sound a bit crazy. It eventually makes him angry, as it would with anyone, because he wants to help but its like I'm pushing him away. I don't want to though, I'd love to find a way to explain things to him and to find a way he could help! Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks for your help!
Much love x