Dave's Dairy

[Ponder]

Although I deleted my reply, I am glad you got to see it. I too save stuff and stash it someone in a folder for later. I only meant to share my own confusion. Is OK - I'm in good space to share the gist of it without a tainted background to which I felt when reading said article. There is within me a spiritual aspect Sal, but trying to dissect it with the mind often results in disconnection. So it is that philosophical and science debates fall very short for me. Long story short, I rate those approaches as problematic as relgion. The language used with wrong and right set a tone that lost the plot which was about the obscure nature of humanity. There are many concepts that abound to this notion that we are all one but it's not so black and white. It's so confusing because on one hand we are taught about the importance of individuality, whilst on the other there are great influential forces always looking to put people into groups (categories) by this notion of all being one and the same. Yet these groups whilst looking to belong get lost is a sea of identity not knowing who they are or what they really be.

I could see how the author was in fact touching on some of this in his or her own way. The split/multiple personality disorders is not something relegated to only those labeled like so. In today's world many of us struggle with not knowing if we are defined by country, state, education, policy all the way down to the type of clothes, car and things we own. More so what we don't own and not today where we shop, visit, and of course medical compliance / history. People self diagnose according to the social tier, prescribed label. We adopt identities like dressing for vouge. We create identities according to whatever the latest addiction is. These dynamics be akin to the drug Soma in a Brave New World were most of us living today are already hooked into a dependency traps whether we like it or not. The needs and desires that well within us are akin to drugs where the chemical reactions that take place within need not the consumption of pills. In this light - whilst we are all thinking in terms of bad foods and pharmaceuticals - we have already been hoodwinked! This is a different perspective which I have not really expressed or explained. At least not like so.

Those of us that have lived long enough to see the game are hooked not so much by designer foods and drugs, but by something already deeply ingrained. All that conditioning since birth re the conflicts of individuality and hive like mentality - Creativity is destroyed the moment children enter into our education system. Need I say anymore. If I do - its would be how they do it with bright colored rainbows right under our noses. Our society is based on deception. That article hits on a few of these things but lost the plot when it proposed those seeking to give up the I apart from the whole were in fact wrong. Adding to that stating it was wrong because some philosophical and science peer reviews ... bla bla bla and sorry but more bla bla bla - more right and wrong ... dissecting this and that and on and on.

In my view disconnecting from said mind sets is the best thing we can do. None of us are going to discover who we are looking for it in some hive mind that is directed by said ideals put forth but whatever hierarchal establishment. Human Society has absolutely nothing to boast about when you know just how much suffering there is for those to go about telling others how it is. Finding the space is something that really stood out in my own reply. This was put aside and marginalized in that article with the comments as they were towards meditators and mystics. Much the same way the media calls anyone that is opposed to the current status as conspiracy theorists. Only to end by saying because of science it is wrong to believe X,Y and Z. Just on those points alone, it mattered little what pieces made sense. The tone and agenda of the article undermined the title and pretty must lost credit the more I read it.

Our thoughts and experiences as proposed by the author is all we will ever be and to think the I can be anything different is wrong to suggest ... well - that's toxic stuff. Its the stuff that keeps people in prison. A great article for those ruling the roost and don't want things to change. I am saying it's OK to be confused, hear different voices and not know who the fuck we are when having lived in said system. Those of us that don't fit, do not because we know it's not a natural state of being. This brings us to the topic of what it really means to be human which has fuck all to do with being in an inescapable hive. Yet the concepts that are making ground in the way we are being held are very much separate to any concepts used to keep people bound. How to break free? Reconnect within. I guarantee you that will not happen by joining some group.
__________________________________________________ _________

Here - you got me outside for the first time in months. I went to one of my favorite spots - Chilling with the Kangaroos in the local cemetery:



Here is a close up:


LOOK & LISTEN comes to mind here. I've been in a huge rut the last months. What better place to say fuck it all and head off to the cemetery to let it all decompose - and focus on what the fuck ever. No amount of podcasts I listen too will give me what I am looking for. It really is a case of no longer looking. Yet that insight can be had from having looked and listened. That being the essence of why no article based on some pretext of science and philosophy will also never provide an answer to that which we have been conditioned. Unlearn used to be a big theme in the 70s - and whilst still prevalent to some degree - the level of dependency and tech we are at, no longer requires designer foods and drugs to keep us bound. Problem, Reaction and Solution are constantly controlled and manipulated whilst one subscribes to anything in society. Today's technology has us like seeing bots created before our eyes. I take a break and write about that ... another level of depression watching one's world altered on such a level. Is it any wonder people get so negative about the future. How can we offer hope in the face of all that? It's episodic at best.

I might have one last bout of grounding left in me. The ability to clean my body once more and write about how to salvage what it left via focused disconnection that is OK with completely letting go. It has nothing to do with running to the hills, but yea - as much as that author seem to marginalize meditators and mystics, for me that answer does fall somewhere in that. I'd just call it something else in order to take the bad taste out of such things that have been flogged to death and long lost their appeal. The images of such things make me sick and are just as confusing as proponents of philosophy, science and relgion.

It is so hard to talk about the reality of the so called whole - because once you understand how the energy works, it can be frightening and despairing at the same time. It can be all consuming where one gets lost in a hole and takes so long to get out. I'm pretty sure that is what happens to us with our episodes.

Time for a Cuppa. Chin up - once we see the BS and understand why so many of us resist - we can start focusing on those less painful bouts with the focus to welcome the simple things back, in what is left of our life. Huge irony ... Huge irony whilst I work towards completing one section of my creative hobby - but not going to get all guilty about that. I know I could just as easily throw it all away but to what end? Once that project is completed (it never ends) I will be moving my focus back into my health and well being. If I don't I will surely be dead in a year or two. I feel it in my bones. That part of me is oh so easy to just say fuck it, but then there is another part that wants to stick around.