Searching for anything good...(sigh)

[Enduronman]

Yeah, I did already send my doc an email explaining to her what this new rheumy had said...
I think she already has a good idea of what to expect from "Specialist" as she had told me that they're all generally assholes.
I've also stopped the prednisone today too.
Yes, doctors are people too and they do make mistakes but I'm just planning now to go with the flow as he is the 2nd one to say that I have some other condition that my doctors knows was not what attacked me in May of 2012...
I'm going to file my appeal based upon the two other doctors claims...
What ever they wish to call it, it hurts like hell every day!
Just took some pain killers and starting to feel a little better already.
Have a good day Dahl!

E-Man

[Enduronman]

Another day, another pain, another medication, another thought, another wish, another hope for something better.
Maybe this shit will end some day, maybe it won't.
Hell, what's another month or two living in misery.
We all do the best that we can.
And as my father always reminds me, it could be a hell of a lot worse too..
Have a great day AF friends and family!
YAY!

E-Man

[JohnC]

My father say's the same to me E-Man, Lol.

Wishing you the best man.

[Enduronman]

Thanks John, very much.
It just seems to get worse and worse around here and yesterday I asked myself if it could get any worse, and if so, what would that be?
I got a letter from a bank stating that my account had been levied and they took the money that I had!
Yes, it got worse but they didn't get much.
When I became disabled 27 months ago, obviously bills became difficult to pay, with no income so they "kick you when you're down" around here.
They still want their money, even if you have none.
Sounds a bit sick to me, but the creditors don't really care what's going on, only about the "money".
I laughed it off and swore that I wouldn't let it get me down because its essentially just another aspect of "life" and happens all the time I'm sure.
All I can do is have hope for better days which seem to take forever to actually arrive.
More doctors visits coming up, a mild surgery, more test, probably more medications too but these are the cards that I have been dealt in life.
What a shitty hand to play! I was never much of a card player anyway...
Bad things do happen to good people every single day, some worse then others.
I still have my life, even though it hurts, and I still have healthy children too so what else does one really need?
Wishing you all a great day!

E-Man

[Dahila]

Oh Eman yes bad s*** happens to other people too, but our s*** hurts, and no one cares, no one will help. When you own money to any company they will use every mean to extract it from you even on your deathbed or even after you dead they go after your family. Bloodsuckers. Imagine I use 30 dollars of electricity and the rest like 90 dollars I pay their service, the debt , the retirement and it is right on the bill. eh When someone owns you money you need to go to small court claim, or give it to collection agency and get back small percentage of that. I do not know about you, but my life is lately struggling everyday. Hopefully they will go off your account shortly, just open different one with the checks or a few of them.

[Im-Suffering]

Thanks John, very much.
It just seems to get worse and worse around here and yesterday I asked myself if it could get any worse, and if so, what would that be?
I got a letter from a bank stating that my account had been levied and they took the money that I had!
Yes, it got worse but they didn't get much.
When I became disabled 27 months ago, obviously bills became difficult to pay, with no income so they "kick you when you're down" around here.
They still want their money, even if you have none.
Sounds a bit sick to me, but the creditors don't really care what's going on, only about the "money".
I laughed it off and swore that I wouldn't let it get me down because its essentially just another aspect of "life" and happens all the time I'm sure.
All I can do is have hope for better days which seem to take forever to actually arrive.
More doctors visits coming up, a mild surgery, more test, probably more medications too but these are the cards that I have been dealt in life.
What a shitty hand to play! I was never much of a card player anyway...
Bad things do happen to good people every single day, some worse then others.
I still have my life, even though it hurts, and I still have healthy children too so what else does one really need?
Wishing you all a great day!

E-Man

Now we teach what we have to learn, and so I can relate to a lot of this, I'm sure most people can.

But.....let's remember, and I warn you.....to get your thinking cap on...for the following:

1) Life is neutral.

2) And, you create your own reality.

Now, life does not care either way what you do....but when you do it, give energy one way or the other, life thinks this is your intended path....inertia :

"The principle of inertia is one of the fundamental principles of classical physics that are used to describe the motion of objects and how they are affected by applied forces"

A thought given inertia - it's forward motion or forces effect outcomes, experience, events..as thought is made physical.

Forgive me this is difficult - I am saying that energy is neutral and latent until you give it the motive force or propulsion by your thoughts and intent. What you are seeing in your life is thought manifest by your hand in pushing it into reality. It is not life itself acting against you, or bad things 'happen' to good people. Rather all people create their own reality and thus the forces apply to everyone.

Intuitively you know the collection people are neutral, doing their 'job' to the best of their ability. For that in itself raises the quality of their life and families.

In a world of 'time' you see, and the way the nervous system is structured, it takes time for a thought to manifest and thus some people forget their hand in it.

I am simply reminding you of this. Now, it is unthinkable for you to say 'my physical difficulties including illness is of my own making and so are then the resulting financial difficulties which are an offshoot of the issue', but in ignorance of that you just manifest more of it, rather than learn to really change the beliefs that give it inertia in a neutral environment.

I am telling you : your thoughts and beliefs - chemically -change/effect/cause the molecular structure of the air which once latent, to 'activate' then turning into patterns of discernible constructions, or matter. You might call them 'idea constructions'.

In practical terms, I am teaching you here that you create your reality, and 'how' you do it.

In closing, I do empathize with you.......but, what you have learned as far as chiseling the personality far outweighs the suffering, especially in your case. I am proud to have known you, I've said it before, because before me I know is a great human.

You have been conditioned that's all, it is not the DNA or a bad world attacking you.

I do hope this post is edifying and not seen as cruel, in human terms, because if misunderstood it could go either way. And that is the foundation for all wars and injustice, again in human terms, when one or two or a town or nation is 'misunderstood' for not only are individuals conditioned, but so are countries.

Conditioning btw is from the caretakers in your lives most often what you call parents. I have taught you much here in this little post, keep it with you.

[Joe.]

That just clicked in my brain, or mind!


I have found that my anxiety stems from the need for clarity in my life. My philosophy is always with such emphasis on clarity, my daily routine is based on clarity; so nothing being confused, everything understood, in control. When I bridge the gap between my mind and the reality my eyes allow me to see, all will be cured. I feared/fear health problems as this is a change for me within me, and something I think I can't control, which could be unclear.
Break through right here!

Now we teach what we have to learn, and so I can relate to a lot of this, I'm sure most people can.

But.....let's remember, and I warn you.....to get your thinking cap on...for the following:

1) Life is neutral.

2) And, you create your own reality.

Now, life does not care either way what you do....but when you do it, give energy one way or the other, life thinks this is your intended path....inertia :

"The principle of inertia is one of the fundamental principles of classical physics that are used to describe the motion of objects and how they are affected by applied forces"

A thought given inertia - it's forward motion or forces effect outcomes, experience, events..as thought is made physical.

Forgive me this is difficult - I am saying that energy is neutral and latent until you give it the motive force or propulsion by your thoughts and intent. What you are seeing in your life is thought manifest by your hand in pushing it into reality. It is not life itself acting against you, or bad things 'happen' to good people. Rather all people create their own reality and thus the forces apply to everyone.

Intuitively you know the collection people are neutral, doing their 'job' to the best of their ability. For that in itself raises the quality of their life and families.

In a world of 'time' you see, and the way the nervous system is structured, it takes time for a thought to manifest and thus some people forget their hand in it.

I am simply reminding you of this. Now, it is unthinkable for you to say 'my physical difficulties including illness is of my own making and so are then the resulting financial difficulties which are an offshoot of the issue', but in ignorance of that you just manifest more of it, rather than learn to really change the beliefs that give it inertia in a neutral environment.

I am telling you : your thoughts and beliefs - chemically -change/effect/cause the molecular structure of the air which once latent, to 'activate' then turning into patterns of discernible constructions, or matter. You might call them 'idea constructions'.

In practical terms, I am teaching you here that you create your reality, and 'how' you do it.

In closing, I do empathize with you.......but, what you have learned as far as chiseling the personality far outweighs the suffering, especially in your case. I am proud to have known you, I've said it before, because before me I know is a great human.

You have been conditioned that's all, it is not the DNA or a bad world attacking you.

I do hope this post is edifying and not seen as cruel, in human terms, because if misunderstood it could go either way. And that is the foundation for all wars and injustice, again in human terms, when one or two or a town or nation is 'misunderstood' for not only are individuals conditioned, but so are countries.

Conditioning btw is from the caretakers in your lives most often what you call parents. I have taught you much here in this little post, keep it with you.

[Enduronman]

Thank you Dahl for your continued support, it means a lot to me.
Thank you Suffering for such an in depth explanation and for taking the time to think that through, they are just "more" issues that I now have to deal with. I will keep it with me.
Good to see you here Joe! Suffering always has such excellent advice and an amazing perspective of things.
I'm up way to early today, another doctors appointment of course that of which I hope to actually learn something more about what's going on with me yet I probably won't.
Hopefully, he is in agreement with the other three doctors, on the same page, clarity in consideration, and a new direction for which to address this disability with the Government.
Probably just a squeeze here and there, a tap, try to push my hands together, try to push them apart,..just another exam. Maybe even some more medications too. I don't know.
I know that they're all just doing the best that they can, considering such an odd, rare, unique disease and condition that only 5 doctors in the world have any real knowledge of.
Obviously, I don't have the money to fly around the world asking for opinions from others, and with possibly 2000 cases of this in the entire world, information about it is hard to come by.
So, I will just do the best that I can considering circumstances, and make the best of this so far beautiful day too.
Wishing you all the best, have a great day friends!

E-Man

[Enduronman]

The Neurologist is on the same page as the other 3 doctors. That's a concensus I guess!
Yes, another new medication to try as well and more blood test of course too.
All I can do is hope for the best and maybe this other medication will help me.
Have a good day all!

E-Man

[Dahila]

Jeez, so much of that, keep it strong, you can do it. I know you can you get some answers soon, and they will leave you alone, the papers filled