Anxiety when staying somewhere overnight!? help!!

[Luby7193]

(I'm new to these forums so sorry if I'm doing this wrong)

I panic really badly when I go somewhere unfamiliar. If I am going for the day, I'm completely fine, If I have to stay over night, It's another matter. I start by getting butterflies and it leads to full on panicking and a feeling of 'I HAVE to get home!', I don't know why I have to get home but I just do. I cry and my chest feels like an elephant is sat on it. I've had it all my life but it seems to be getting worse and it's controlling my life. I had to come home after one night from a holiday in Spain with friends and have had to cancel many nights out/visits to friends at uni because of it. I'm 21 and my friends say I'm too young to feel like this. They don't understand what it feels like and I annoy them and ruin their night/holiday etc. I don't know how to describe what it feels like to you guys...This is horrible but imagine being on an aeroplane in a confined space and the pilot says the engine has stopped or something, you'd feel this "omg I need to get off" and a horrific panic but whatever you do, you cant get off It's like that, I need to get home.

Does anyone else get this? I've never known anyone get anxious about staying away from home and I feel like I'm the only one. I don't know what to do about it and it's really getting me down. I'm missing out on so many amazing experiences.

[natalie1788]

I know exactly what u mean, I suffer with the same thing! Since I was about 11 years old I couldn't stay over my friends for a sleepover without worrying about/being sick. This gradually got better as I got older and I was able to stay out for a night. However I still struggle with going away from home for a period of time, or being too far away. I'm just about to go away for a week with my boyfriend, the first time I've gone on holiday without parents! I'm much better than I have been previously though, not so anxious, but getting symptoms now and again! Have u tried therapy or anything?

[annakatarinas]

I have the exact same thing!
To me, though, it doesn't matter if I'm staying overnight or just doing a day visit; there's still a rather big risk I'll start feeling nauseous, chest-fluttering, tingling in my hands, and dizziness etc. What makes it all worse is that when you think about it, you increase the risk of it actually happening. Good news, though: this summer I went on holiday for a week with seven of my friends! I hadn't known these girls for a very long time, and I knew it was going to be a 'party trip' so I was really nervous and also wanted to cancel it like five times before we got there. The things that made the trip go really well were these three:

1) I told my friends about my anxiety. I didn't tell them a heart-breaking, overly dramatic story containing every detail of my feelings, I simply said "Just so you know, I get very stressed up sometimes for no logical reason. It's not dangerous and you really don't have to do much except asking if I'm fine".

2) I lowered my expectations of myself; I didn't force myself to go to parties for many days in a row, I said no some times and I didn't do anything I didn't like 100 percent.

3) I tried to remind myself that "Hey, you're an anxious person and you're on a holiday with seven new friends, of course it can be stressful but obviously they like me since I'm here, so chances are they probably accept my flaws too".

If I handled a week like that using those techniques, so can you when you stay with your friend/s overnight. Though I understand it can be really stressful, especially if your friends don't understand. Try explaining your feelings to them, in not too great detail, and without sounding like you want to make them feel bad.

[Enduronman]

I have the same problems even at my age, staying with my girlfriend, staying with family.
It takes me away from my "comfort zone" persay..
I don't sleep well in other people's places because it just doesn't "feel" like home...
You're not alone!

Enduronman.

[natalie1788]

I totally agree! For me it's a comfort zone or even control type thing. Once I start to feel anxious I get all the symptoms and it makes it all so much worse and then I can't eat.

[NixonRulz]

If I had any friends, I would give them the quick and skinny like Anna says

Since I don't have any friends, I'll just feel sorry for myself and wish you all the best