Should i keep running from the scary stuff?

[Claire001]

Hi, I'm having a really bad time at the moment and would REALLY appreciate anyone's advice if you have the time.

I've suffered with anxiety and depression for years and social anxiety is one of my main problems. I have a passion for photography and recently took a huge step in my life and finally decided to open a small photography business, despite my social anxiety! Over the last few months I've put myself in some really scary situations and have been completely out of my comfort zone many times. My photo shoots seem to be getting easier each time but I am still having some sleepless nights!

Anyway, my predicament this week is that I've been asked to do a certain type of shoot that I'm not very experienced in in a public place. I've been honest with the client and told them that it'll be a new thing to me but we can still get some amazing shots if we work together. I'm not charging for the shoot as it's to build my portfolio so that's a bit of pressure off too. The problem is that the shoot is in a really warm place and my be really busy. When anxious, I get hyperhidrosis and my make up runs and I find it mortifying so agreeing to the shoot was scary in the first place. To make matters worse, I had an email from the manager of the venue to say he's booking a photographer to take shots of our shoot for the newspaper and website! So basically, I'll be photographed while taking photographs in an awkward situation, probably with a really sweaty face and wet hair on the brink of panic attack! Lol. I knew I'd find being a photographer hard having social anxiety but I was hoping that if I took it slowly enough that I could build my confidence.

My question is do you think I should just get on with it or should I be kind to myself and realise my current limitations? I hate living like this and wish I could be confident enough to take these amazing opportunities but I'm so scared that if it all goes completely wrong that it may really set me back and I won't ever want to do it again! I'm really feeling sick about this and haven't slept properly for a few nights. I feel like I can't win-feel depressed about throwing away something I really want to do to save my embarrassment if it goes wrong or throw myself in the deep end and run the risk of drowning (and it being in the newspaper!) ....neither sound very appealing.

I'm sorry I've babbled on so much and I hope that I can offer my help to someone else here at some point

All the best

Claire x

[Enduronman]

You have a passion for photography and you took that experience and desire to open your own studio,, that in ITSELF says that you are admirable and focused..
If youre powerful enough to make such a decision as to move forward with your career, take that risks, gamble, and go all out for this dream opportunity of your
lifetime,...then why let this one upcoming event ruin it, when you could use this free photo op to boost your business and goals,....
You already have esteem, self-confidence, and you seem self-reliant,...so, why overthink this next big upcoming life event..
You need to take command, control, and charge of this upcoming situation on all aspects and regards,,,Yes, you should face this scary stuff. I always faced scary stuff.
Even though I have anxiety, fear, all that too....except my scary stuff wasn't about photos friend it was about battles with others, or being asked to present on stage
in front of 500 people...I did it, I loved it!!! I wanted to do it again, even though I was wanted to vomit prior...once I was out there, I was in command and control...

You've already laid allllll the groundwork, free shoot, newspaper, now just finish the groundwork and make your client and the photo people from the paper know that if you start getting hot (because you so prefer cool weather much more) that maybe you'd like a minute to prep yourself prior to any photo shoot from the paper??? Plus, it isnt going to be a close up of YOU anyway only what it is that you're doing and then maybe an interview (of which you could pre-prepare for them to hand to them for their article)....There are soooo many things you can do to take this pressure off of your mind, stop overthinking it for one...and face your fears.

Taking no risks in life, is in many cases, the biggest mistake of all...because you'll never know what you couldv'e gained but it's assured to be a loss....

Best wishes and goodluck on your shoot..

E-Man....

[hippysilverware]

It seems as if you've already been building confidence! Take a look at all you've done so far. Maybe you've hit a little bit of a speed bump, but it's definitely not a limitation for you. It'll be hard no doubt, a lot of challenges are, but look at it as exactly that: a challenge. Try and remind yourself that doing this specific shoot will be a huge step in getting you over your anxiety. Throw yourself into your work! ^^ Maybe you'll see that your love for photography is a lot more overpowering than your anxiety.

[Claire001]

Wow, thank you so much for the lovely messages guys. So nice of you to take the time to reply! I read your messages fleetingly in work this morning and it brought a tear to my eye! I think in was just a huge relief to have made the decision to go for it. At least now I can just concentrate on putting things in place to make it run smoothly rather than going through the turmoil of trying to decide whether to do it or not. I'm going to check out the venue tomorrow and have started making more plans for the shoot.

Public speaking-now that is scary! I really admire your bravery in doing that despite your fears. Did it get easier the more you did it? A great example of how you can overcome your fears!

You've both given me some great advice and I'll definitely be reading your messages just before the shoot to keep me calm! I want to come up with a plan of what to do IF the shoot goes badly so that I don't go into a bad depressive stage. What would you have done if your public speaking hadn't gone well? Maybe it's just a case of trying not to take everything so seriously.

Thanks again for your kind words of inspiration, I feel as though I may finally sleep properly tonight!

Hugs,

Claire x

[Claire001]

Hi you guys!

I just wanted to thank you again for your advice. I did the photo shoot today and although I was petrified beforehand it went really well! I can't believe I managed to do it. My nerves did stop me from being 100% relaxed to be creative BUT I do have some amazing photos and am sure the client will be happy. I also learned a lot, which is what it's all about! Reading your messages last night and this morning really helped me so just want you to know how appreciative I am of your words of wisdom

Love! Claire x

[hippysilverware]

I'm really happy to hear it worked out well for you Claire! Congratulations! ^^ I'm so glad you fought your way through it, I'm sure it had to be hard at first but you seem extremely happy about it now, /and/ you got some nice shots out of it. Double bonus! Keep it up, at the rate you're going you'll have squashed that anxiety in no time.

[Dahila]

Hi you guys!

I just wanted to thank you again for your advice. I did the photo shoot today and although I was petrified beforehand it went really well! I can't believe I managed to do it. My nerves did stop me from being 100% relaxed to be creative BUT I do have some amazing photos and am sure the client will be happy. I also learned a lot, which is what it's all about! Reading your messages last night and this morning really helped me so just want you to know how appreciative I am of your words of wisdom

Love! Claire x

Fantastic news and welcome to the forum Claire) I am happy it went well....Maybe you could show us some of your work, I mean link or something, would be appreciated

[Claire001]

Thank you so much for your kind words you guys! I'm sure the more I push myself to do these things the easier it will get Dahlia the site won't let me post a link to my facebook business page so here it is with spaces if you did want to have a look posted a photo from the shoot last night which should be near the top of the page

W w w . F a c e b o o k . C o m / c l a I r e e a t o n p h o t o g r a p h y

[alankay]

Claire, if you can tolerate the anticipatory anxiety before and the anxiety of the event you should go for it. The key is "taking the worst", seeing you can handle it and it will get better. Odds are if your passion for this is strong enough you can do it. A beta blocker like propranolol might help with sweating and over time you can use less or drop it as you get desensitized to it all.
Any time I feared I would fail I've always summoned the courage to try and always do better than I feared. Alankay

[Enduronman]

This calls for a YAY!!!

So happy for you friend!!

Have a great day too!!...

Enduronman..