Searching for anything good...(sigh)

[GeneAllen]

Congrats Frankie,


That is awesome!! So, so proud, and look how far you have come, such a good thing. Peace

[GeneAllen]

Oh, okay sorry about that Frankie. I'll try again. Peace Keep up the good work! This is great news.

[jjh333]

I'm loving the sports talk, someone should start a thread for it if it doesn't annoy people possibly straying far from the anxiety theme

[Lee Grant Irons]

Hello all

I would like to share with you tonight another little milestone for me.

When I was doing my walk this evening I was feeling pretty good and calm so instead of turning right, I turned left and looped a whole new block outside of my latest safety zone. This zone is growing for me each week after years of it shrinking. Furthermore my left turn took me up the huge hill which climbs to the top of the town. It obviously had my heart rate increasing sharpish and I was very breathless when I reached the top.
I concentrated hard on my breathing and my thoughts keeping away from triggering other anxiety symptoms. I remained steadfast and no panic. I smiled all the way along the block that returned me back to my usual lap of the town. When I got home I was so pleased.

Frankie, that is fantastic! Interesting that you say that you were effectively doing things to block triggers. What are your triggers for your anxiety when you are out walking?

[Lee Grant Irons]

Hi Lee, thanks for your support.

One of my main thoughts that cause my anxiety at least in relation to the agoraphobia is the further I go from a bathroom the stronger the urge is to go. Obviously a fear builds upon that as no one wants to lose control of themselves. That thought is a massive trigger for me.

Also on that occasion as I walked up the "hill of death" my heart was pounding and my chest was very tight both of which occur during a panic episode. I was actively focusing on thoughts that those were normal feelings for many people who go up that hill and it was NOT because I had gone far from home and needing the bathroom.

Does that make sense?

Yay Frankie! Makes perfect sense.

So, to clarify. Moving further away from a bathroom is a trigger. The fear suggestion that comes to your mind is, "If I get too far from the bathroom, I will lose control of myself." The thought is not the trigger. The thought is a fear suggestion that results from the trigger of walking further away from a bathroom. One way to overcome this is by countering the fear suggestion. So I imagine you did something to make yourself feel safe that if a problem happened, you were prepared. Either that, or you just toughed it out and made it okay.

That seems to be exactly what you did with the hill. You felt the trigger of the increased heart rate and heavy chest, and rather than let it suggest fear to your mind that you were having a heart attack (or a panic attack), you countered the suggestion by telling yourself it is all normal feelings for walking up a hill. And it worked.

Controlling your suggestion response. This can be very effective in breaking the anxiety cycle. Chapter 2.

[Lee Grant Irons]

Checking in E-Man... Hope all is well. Everything is sat on my end.

[Enduronman]

Ok dear forum friends,..here's what is going on and why you haven't seen me much..

First off, all these damn test and procedures to try and figure out why I can hardly walk. My legs feel like they're being squeezed by something every friggin day. Like I'm a damn mummy. Just the legs (for now) and been like this for 14 fuggin months. I have medications, they help, but there has to be a cause or reason. Hence=test after test.
I have ANOTHER friggin MRI tomorrow morning at 630am..the spine. There may be spinal damage from this disease and or pinched nerves. Then I have to have something called an EMG on the 27th. Tiny needles will be stuck in my legs with electrodes attached to see electrical malfunctions I guess. Like acupuncture with wires. Yay...
Then a Neurosurgeon on the 28th, to read all this s**t and tell me what's next or if there's nothing that they can do. I've already had physical therapy for my neck, then maybe I'll have therapy on my legs. I just don't really know..I can't stand for more than 10 mins without my legs killing me, get in and out of the damn car, climb the stairs, but used to be able to do anything and lift tons of weight. It still makes no sense to me.

Second off, my oldest daughter was a drug addict. She quit taking (methadone) after 2 solid years..but, there's a catch. She replaced it with something else I believe (crystal meth)..She's dropping weight fast, and I see and sense other things going on too. Just when I thought she had found her inner strengths, I see she just chose something else completely f**kin stupid instead..plus, she adds extra "drama" into my life now too. I don't know what to believe when she tells me stories. Most of the stories are about her younger sis that is in my home. About drugs. That's ALLLLLLLLL she talks about....and not the LEGAL ones that I take, the other ones...it's draining me.

Then, lastnight. I get a call from the Doctors office to speak to me about lion cub..(17)..They say that they need her to come in for a drug test because something strange popped up in her system? So, for a few hours..I am freaking the f**k out about what it could be? She saw the Doc on the 20th, 1 day after going to a damn dentists office to have a filling done, and they gave her VALIUM!! I even took the f**kin bottle out there with us on the 20th, showed the nurse, showed the Doc, they both looked at it,,,,but TOOK NO F**KIN NOTES ABOUT IT!!!..That's what was "in her system"...Son of a beyotch! So, I had to take her out there today for a surprise drug screen, because of something that I tried to make them aware of and prevent on December fuggin 20th!!!....Lion cub was not happy, nor kind to the RN that didn't (DO HER JOB)!!!......

Between allllll this shit...I'm trying to hang in there and hang in here too.....

Now you know!!

Like my new signature???? It's from a song that you would all HATE!!! LMAO!!...

(sigh)...

E-Man...

[Ashlee13x]

Keep strong E-man!! Were all here for when you need to get something off your chest just like you are always here for us!!! Never lose sight of how lovely and kind you are to everyone on here because I know you have really helped me on my journey through anxiety and I bet a lot of other people can say that too!! You really deserve to have it easy because you have been through soo much.. I look up to you (not just because i'm 5ft tall) because although you have been through/going through a lot your still your happy bubbly self and you still bring so much fun and laughter to the forum!!! Stay strong pupa lion!!

Anywayyyy… enough of the soppy crap hahhahaa!!! THE SONG!! I forgot, i'm gonna listen to it now!!

Ash xx

[Enduronman]

Thank you Ashlee...that was very kind, very powerful. Blessings your way for being so strong!! (even at 5')....LOL!

I am realllllyyyyy trying to stay on the "road" if you know what I mean now...

E-Man...

[Cullingford]

Sorry to hear you're going through it! E-man such a shit that you have so many things to deal with at once.
Try and keep strong we all need you and your great support and advice.
Cully