An Introduction
I've been coming on to these pages for a few weeks now and felt it was about time I introduced myself as I have wading in on other peoples threads like a fairy elephant, I was just testing the water lol. Hello my name is Jazz and I am a Social phobic or at least I was for 12 years. I am 32 years old and I live with my mother and uncle in my grandmothers house which is next-door to a noisy drinking establishment (sleeping is a problem), I don't like to focus too much on the negative so I'll try and make this short, I was bullied at school, Had a family member that was verbally abusive, an alcoholic, she was mentally ill and as a consequence her negativity ruined a large part of the rest of our lives, My father was forced to return to his homeland when I was 8 and didn't come back till I was 26, I was an anxious and angry child, at 14 my mother lost her job, anxiety stopped me from completing my education and for a time after that we were so poor we spent 1 or 2 years with no central heating. By the time I was 16 all anger had given way to anxiety and I did not leave the house again till I was 24 when was starting to get physically ill. I was sent to the hospital for a biopsy on my kidney. It was at the hospital however where I had my first breakthrough and realised that watching the news was feeding my anxiety, I stopped watching the news after that and in 2 weeks I felt a lot more comfortable. A further 4 years passed of mainly being in the house before My kidneys failed and I had to start treatment. My first dialysis treatment was CAPD which I chose it because it could be done in the home it was a bad choice however and for the next 3 years I was quite physically unwell which brings us to now. I am on Haemo dialysis and much better. I am still mainly in the house but its not out of fear now so much as lack of routine and options. I decided to check out anxiety forums, which I had been thinking about doing on and off for some years. I don't suffer greatly now with anxiety, I feel that in some sense seeing as I grew up with it that it is now a part of my character but anxiety is by nature fear and anxiety problems are basically living in fear, my point is that some fear is nessecary and that brings me to why I came here. As some of may know already I feel all of this experience has taught me a lot about life and I wanted to share some of that experience, some my thoughts and YT vids with people who may understand, in a place where you don't have to pretend, in the hope that it can be of benefit to someone. I tend to think a lot about doing things like this that involve me opening myself up a bit and I usually collect a bunch of reasons until they get to critical mass and then I take the plunge. I don't really know how to end this so I hope to get to know some of you better in the future and seeing I can't finish on a song I'll finish on a quote However you feel now remember "This to shall pass."
Welcome to the Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks.
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(Chris)
Originally Posted by thoinayaz86
