I am scared of everything. I had a traumatic experience a few years back where my son who was only 2 months old had died. I feel like this fear is coming from that area of my life but I am not sure how to kick these feelings I am having.

I fear death.
I fear that my death will cause other people pain and suffering that they do not deserve. I know this sounds conceded but I suffer from my son dying and he was only 2 months old
I fear that people look down on me or think that I am stupid
I fear that I am going to die in my sleep which keeps me up all the time
I fear my parents are going to die and I have no way of controlling this
I fear all my friends are going to die and leave me to fend for myself

I know I am just rambling on about things that no one wants to hear, but these thoughts are real and they are becoming more frequent and harder to control
I also am quite sure that I have Generalized anxiety disorder but I can't seem to get this under control. A lot of these thoughts and feelings are being heightened when I leave the house so I am also becoming borderline agoraphobic.

I can't even enjoy myself anywhere I go. My girlfriend tells me I have to STOP thinking about this and just think about something else, but I have taken psychology and know that when you focus on not thinking about something, you actually will think about it more. Pink elephants....

Please don't tell me to see a therapist, because I have been to many and my anxiety has gotten worse since then. Can anyone explain ways to control these feelings or just get rid of these thoughts entirely. I hate the fact that I have to "CONTROL" my anxiety when I know I can actually cure this!