Then it hit me

[lola_golightly]

I was feeling fine for about a week or so and then it just hit me. I was sitting on my bed looking out onto the city, feeling quite peaceful. I was thinking to myself how i hadn't thought about dying in awile and how nice it was. Then almost instintaniously my heart started beating fast and i got this crushing feeling in my chest. I thought i was going to have a panic attack. This feeling can be so....all consuming. It's so hard to discribe to someone who's never had it. It's like somone has put blinders on you and no matter how hard you try and tell yourself it's not true,your not dying and you do have a future, it still persists. I want very much to just sit and think. Think about my future and the life i could have but i just can't because it feels like someone is whispering in my ear, telling me it will never happen. This impending sense of doom overwhelms me. I know it's not true...but i still can't shake it no matter how hard i try. I don't know why i'm saying all this but it just seems you guys will probably know how it feels. It doesn't really seem like anyone around here really "gets it". Thanks.

[leftie15]

i know exactly how u feel its sofrustrating to be havin such a peaceful time and then u go wait i'm not thinking about it and BAM it hits u like a brick such a orrible part of anxiety your not alone and u can find peace of mind keep tryin good luck

[scatmantom]

Hey I get this too. It sometimes feels like Ive been cured, untill i remember my anxiety, then it does creep back into my life. But this shows how this is totally in our minds and is something we can work to beat. If in our minds we think we have beaten it, then i think we will have beaten it. Problem for me is no matter how much I achieve I never accept that I have done well and that I am getting better!

[calebjohnston]

Yeah, I agree with scatmantom. I too ocassionally find myself being happy, and just glad to be where I am - until I realize the 'problems' that I face every day.

As scatmantom said, that proves that much of what a lot of us are experiencing is mental, so it can be dealt with. Definitely a good sign for many of us.