View Full Version : New Here...unsupportive gf
02-09-2006, 04:29 PM
Hey I am new here and I am lookin 2 talk 2 some 1. I have really bad anxitey and I feel my gf is unsupportive. Does ne 1 have that prob? Like sometimes she even makes fun of me n that jus makes me more anxious and mad... Other times she great but sumtimes she upsets me. Like I will have a new fear out of no where and then she will tell me 2 get over it or make fun of me..Any advice ne1?
02-09-2006, 04:46 PM
hey man welcome to the forum hope you like it here my g/f also was a pain at first when my anxiety cam on but she defentily realized i wasn't kiddin around and that it was really serious so she backed off you just need to explain to your g/f that this is tough thing to go through and instead of making fun of you she should try and be supportive that you need a good shoulder to lean on i also kno how you feel bout discovering new fears everyday it can be ridiculous but if you get a new fear u now its just anxiety because it wasn't there efore so try not to get bent out of shape ova it and trust me i kno how hard that is i have so many fears now its stupid but i kno its just anxiety thats all you have to tell yourself you can conquer this are you seeing a doctor or on any meds?well have a good day hope to see you around
02-09-2006, 05:16 PM
Thanks Man Im hoping she will come around its so hard though cos I cant fight this alone. I havent taken ne meds yet or gone to see a doctor. I kinda like dont wanna admit it yet. Sometimes I just feel so crazy..I feel like if go to the drs. they will tell me I am. I dont feel like i can be completly honest becos I really think sum messed up stuff sometimes. I know its something I have to do. I know my fears are just anxitey but its like I feel something is totally taking over me..U kno...I am afraid that if I do go to the doctor my heart will pound of my chest and I willnt be able to say anything. I have a hard time with new ppl in general let alone telllin them my inner most fears...
02-09-2006, 10:35 PM
heyman i hear ya defentilyalotbetter withsomeone next to ya i'm sureshe'llcomearound goin to thedocsain't badihad to do it for thefirst time my kneeswere shakin myheadwasspinning but i didit and know i goback every couple weeksit not badtheyreally help you understand it just anxiety your not crazy trust me i thought i was crazy wait i still think i'm goin crazy lol the sooner you see a doc the sooner you can get better as far worrying bout some messed up things let me make it a little easier for you to get it off your chest i'm afraid i'm goin to hallucinate start hearing and seeing things also i'm afraid i'm goin to freak out and kill somebody and thats completly not me i freak out at the sight of any sort of blood or anythin so it makes no sense i know its just anxiety but tough tellin yourself that when your mind just won't stop thinkin bout that crap if it helps man just get what your afraid of off your chest its help no one here will judge you i promise this place is completely kewl everyone knows what your goin through hang in there and defently go see a doc it will really benefit your not crazy and they won't tell you your crazy just you have too muchanxiety well good luck and hang in there your bud leftie
02-10-2006, 12:06 PM
Thanks alot. I think I will go to the doctor. I just ...I dunno...Are you always honest with your doc? Cos like sumtimes I get thoughts and I dont think they are really anxitey related...maybe it iss more Im not sure...Do u like ur doc? I once saw this dood wen I was younger but i didnt like him and my problems where less severe at the time so I stoped goin. I think now im gonna look for some1 better. Im scared about taking meds, though i hear that some of them can make u worse..But I guess u gotta do wut u gotta do..thanks alot for ur advice man..its good 2 kno ur not alone. Cos I often feel like I am..Like no1 understands what its like 2 have these thoughts and 2 b afraid of so much and sumtimes even myself..
02-10-2006, 01:29 PM
hey dude, welcome to the forum
I have anxiety and I have never taken meds. There are other ways of beating it. In a panic attack im sure meds can be of some benefit but I would rather not take them. Thats my personnal choice tho and i dont look down on any1 who uses them.
Its good that u are going to see a doctor, and if like u say u didnt likew ur first doctor then finding a new 1 is probably gonna be helpful!
good luck with crackin ur anxiety probs mate
02-10-2006, 03:50 PM
Thanks Tom, what other ways do u deal with ur anxiety?
02-10-2006, 05:11 PM
well I have got a good understanding of what causes my panic attacks, and i can detect early on when it is going to happen. I also realise that the fear of the panic attack just makes things worse..so i put ona relaxation CD, carry out breathing techniques and just feel myself coming back to normal. This doesnt always work, like if there is something really major going on...but for the msot part it does.
another method i use is to force myself into uncomfortable situations...the more i do it, the less hard it becomes, and b4 i realise it, its 2nd nature to me and its no longer something that will cause me anxiety. Takes tonnes of persistance, determination and time...but for me these 2 things are working well.
For example tonight i felt a panic attack coming on early, ive just done my method and now ive not got a care in the world!
hope that helps
02-10-2006, 09:02 PM
hey man yea i like my doc he's kewl shit yea i'm honest with him always he can't help ya ifhedon't know whats goin on so u gotta be honest he ain't gonna think your crazy and bout the meds i've always been nervous bout takin meds but i know that the docs know what the best options are so i try to do what they think is best always adding my input so they kno where i wanna go i don't wanna be on meds foreva but for the time being if a can get any relief for now i'm there man but good luck with the docs hope you find someone u like have a goodday man your bud leftie
02-11-2006, 05:48 PM
Hey thanks Leftie and Tom. Its really good to kno that ppl can deal with this cos sometimes I wonder. I really think its imposible. I am going to try and see if I can deal with it and maybe go see a doc.
U guys r great. And i have been talkin 2 my gf and she seems a lil bit more understanding hopefully it will last!
02-11-2006, 05:54 PM
way to go man thats awesome hopefully she comes aroung and good luck in your search for a good doc take it easy man :goodjob:
02-12-2006, 08:57 AM
glad to be of service...come back and tell us how it goes!
02-13-2006, 10:27 AM
Hey Bob - Sorry to hear about your gf being non-supportive. It's so important that the people we are close to understand what we're going through, sadly most don't. Loved ones may not be able to "get it", but it is critical for our progress that we surround ourselves amongst caring people we can trust. I am sympathetic and genuinely concerned for persons whom I care about that have ailments; and it should be the same for us. We suffer from a serious condition.
My family is the worst for support. I've been teased, taunted and called crazy. So, I don't look to them for support.
It can be hard to explain anxiety especially when we are in the mist of it and confused ourselves. Here we are panicking and feeling this impending doom, but nothing horrific is happening around us, just in us. That is scary and makes us think we're crazy, but we are not - the body is reacting to the mind in a vicious circle and we just want to it to stop.
I hate/despise people who say, "Oh just calm down. What's wrong with you? Just stop freaking yourself out!" They are ignorant fools and make our situation worse, because yeah - of course we want to calm down and relax - that is our mission....that's what we pray and beg for everyday....the answer to end our misery…for the panic to stop!
Maybe have her read something on anxiety from WebMD or find a personal story of someone else suffering from this and especially throw in some info about how to be supportive regarding persons with anxiety!
Sorry, I went on; but I got steamed when I heard she was making fun of you. That's a low blow, babe!
You will get better - I did. Scatmantom has some good advice up there!
Take it easy -
02-13-2006, 12:58 PM
Hey Bob, it will help you to write down all your anxiety symptoms before you go to the Dr. so that once you are there, you won't become flustered and forget everything! That's what I did, and it seemed to work. Also, my husband went with me which is always good for me, because he is very supportive.
Maybe if your girlfriend is there with you, and she actually hears the Doctor saying that anxiety is a real thing, she will take it more seriously. I know my Dr. took it very seriously.
Good Luck, and let us know how it goes!
02-14-2006, 12:38 PM
Thanks u guys Its great 2 know that there are other ppl out there who really do understand. My gf is already starting to come around she has been searching the net and I think she understands more.
02-14-2006, 12:50 PM
Good to hear :) !
02-14-2006, 02:11 PM
I only just recently explained to my boyf how i was feeling and since then although i am no where near right in myself i know that sort of understands and i feel a load better about telling him..
Talking about these things is the best thing that you can do and i can tell you that from my own experience.
I hope that this helps x
02-14-2006, 04:14 PM
Thanx BoBo Im glad 2 hear that things r going better for u! Im sure they will for me n my gurl 2!
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