stupid irrational fears and panic are stupid :/

[Velrose]

So I was in the washroom about thirty minutes ago putting some lotion on my arms, and all of a sudden my irrational fear hits me and hits hard. I don't want to name it....it might triggter. I can't even say it outloud anymore. -___- I have been doing ok... recently, I've had more and more panic attacks and moments of anxiety. I can't seem to focus myself enough to pull away from the irrational thoughts today though. I'm so tired of this. I think I need my ativan refilled. I haven't had to take one in nearly a year....but it might be time to do it. I don't think I will make it through the holidays at this rate.

tldr; I just needed to vent.... I'm tired of anxiety, tired of this stupid fear!

[northstar]

hi velrose! sorry to see you feeling blue :(

have you tried out any therapy to help with the irrational thoughts? it can be hard to stop those on our own, i found therapy very helpful to engage the more rational side of my mind again, i used to have a lot of irrational fears too. are you doing anything along with the ativan to help out with your anxiety?

[Velrose]

Actually I am in therapy--but my counselor decided back in April that she only needed to see me once every three months as I was making so much progress. She then cancelled my appointment back in July for her vacation. I have an appointment in two weeks, and I think I'm going to impress upon her how I need to begin seeing her again. Just to have someone to talk to who can help me sort through the rationality of everything would be nice. Not to mention it was a good period of time that I could just vent and get everything in my life out in the open.

I've thought about some group therapy too, but I'm very nervous about that. I don't do well in situations where I feel like I'm being put on the spot or being judged. I always seem to feel like the "odd one out."

[northstar]

sounds like a good plan to talk to her about how much you should see her, to be honest i thought that the decision to stop having so many apointments is actually up to the patient so that you choose when you think you should stop seeing her? it's ok to feel like you still need the help, that's what therapy is all about, helping you to feel sturdy again :) i'm glad you found it such help, i thought it was great too and i still have a counselling session once every couple of months to vent and let go and sort through things, it's just so beneficial!

if you'd like to look at other things that i found helpful to help with the anxiety then you can take a look at this thread if you'd like: http://www.anxietyforum.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4087 i had an awful time with anxiety, went some pretty bad places but i made it through. the key for me was discovering about diet and keeping my blood sugars balanced, i had no idea how much what and how we eat can affect us!