View Full Version : Feeling very depressed and alone right now.
03-06-2007, 09:14 AM
I'm feeling very depressed :roll: and alone :cry: right now. I suffer from major depression, social anxiety (which is the reason I have no friends online or for real), and panic attacks.
My medications Effexor (depression) at 75 mgs of it and my Clonazepam (anxiety and to help me sleep) 0.5mgs of it are not for me and I know my family doctor won't change the dosage or anything for me. :? She won't even change me to a new medication and I won't see my new psychiatrist until June. I am on a cancellation list for him but whenever he calls to give me a cancellation appointment he never tells me the date and time of it.
I'm totally on my own here :( :unsure: and lost by doing my medications on my own as my family doctor won't do anything about it. She tells me that its hard and rare to find a new psychiatrist as there aren't many around. yeah right like I believe her.
Its hard now as my parents are away in Portugal for another three weeks and I'm alone and by myself as I live with them to deal with this problem on my own. I feel very discouraged, depressed and alone like I want to hide from the world , whether its the internet world and the real one too.
I have no friends and no support at all. Not even family want to help me and the only person who called me was my sister but she lives in British columbia , canada and I'm in Ontario Canada.
I feel like hiding my head in the dirt and not coming out. Like hibernating which I think I will do from the internet world for now. I'll feel like I'm alone then I'll be alone. Maybe that's what is best as nobody I know either my email friends or anyone (family) don't care how I'm doing or anything.
I'm alone with all of this as I have no support system at all. So I will just not come on the net anymore.
bye for now......... :wail:
03-06-2007, 05:18 PM
Hi Kitkat. I'm going to give you a bit of a lecture now. ;)
The biggest obstacle to getting better is self-pity. You are not alone and you are not totally powerless. The more you tell yourself negative lies, the more you will believe them. Stop lying to yourself. You're NOT alone. First of all you have YOURSELF. That's the most important thing. YOURSELF has to be your biggest ally and your best friend. Other people can't fight this battle for you; sometimes you have to do it yourself. It sucks that you're feeling this way. It isn't fair and I know how painful it is, but you need to remind yourself that you're smart, you're strong and you're worth the effort.
It's great to have lots of support. I'm sure your family adores you and I wish they were there with you right now. They will be back soon. Remind yourself to be grateful that you have family because some people don't have any family at all. That's the game I have to play with myself sometimes to cheer myself up a bit. I imagine how much WORSE it could be and then it makes my situation seem better by comparison.
First off, you need to find yourself another doctor. Your doctor sounds very uncooperative. My GP changes my medications, monitors my progress and dosages... all that stuff. I don't see a psychiatrist anymore so my GP prescribes my medications. She was the one who first prescribed me medication. So, your doctor telling you that he can't change your medication is not acceptable. If it's difficult to find a new family doctor where you live, go to a clinic. I know the waiting lists for psychiatrists are ridiculously long here in Canada, but you need a doctor who is willing to go to the effort to find one for you... at least get you on a waiting list. It sucks that we have to fight for treatment when we're feeling so weak and tired and overwhelmed, but sometimes we just have to do it -- because no one else can do it for us.
Anyway, I hope you start to feel a bit better. You seem like a dramatic girl. ;) Take some of that dramatic energy and kick up a storm -- get yourself the help you DESERVE. Take care.
06-27-2007, 08:08 PM
Your not alone my friend. I can totally relate to what your saying, infact, I'm sure the majority of people on here can relate to what your saying. Just take some time to clear your head and really get down to whats truly bothering you. I know it sucks when you have no one around to talk to, or call on the phone or get advice and support from. Trust me, I know, I've been dealing with this crap since I was 13, and now I'm 22. Yet I sit here and still have no friends or anyone around who gives a crap about what people like you and me are going through. The fact of the matter is that those people around you who don't support you just don't understand what your going through. They couldn't possibly understand. You know why? Because your the one going through it, and they're not.
As much as you want the people around you to understand and be there for you and to just simply acknowledge your pain and depression, they only know that you have it, but they have no idea what it is or what your going through. If you really want your parents to understand what your going through, I would suggest having them sit down with your doctor or your therapist and have her/him explain to your parents exactly what the disorder is and maybe they can better understand your situation. And the way you describe your therapist doesn't seem right, he doesn't seem professional at all. I would talk to your parents about maybe going to a different doctor and talking to somebody else. Also tell them that your medications simply are not working for you.
Listen man, I know exactly how you feel. And I know how sad and depressing it can be when you feel alone and lost and unstable. All you have is yourself and thats why people often refer to self-pity. Everybody does there own version of self-pity. Don't feel like you can't even talk to yourself anymore.
Just be grateful that you have the foundation to start from. You have a chance to start over and you can really heal yourself and start a new life if you really try. Some people don't have that luxury, I don't have that luxury and I would do anything just to get my hands on some health insurance so I could get the treatment I need. You have that my friend, you have the chance to heal yourself, you need to take advantage of that. I wish to God, someone had said that to me when I was on my parents health plan. My advice to you is to stick to your therapy no matter what the situation calls for. Do it before it's too late and your anxiety and depression worsens. Get a new therapist, get a new doctor if you have to. Be the adult in the situation, be the big guy and stick up for yourself. Do it for yourself and suceed at it. Sit down and talk to your parents, tell them that you really need help, explain to them what your going through, and tell them that you want a new doctor and a new therapist. If your parents don't want to listen to you, talk to one of your teachers or a school counselor. I wish I had.
I'm no professional at this all man, but I'm just telling you that it only gets worse over time, so you need to do this for yourself before you hit the age of 22 and see yourself hiding from the world like you were many years ago.
Anyways, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm totally here for you buddy. Write me a message anytime.
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