a life with anxiety

[mouse25]

hi all,

i have read a lot of the posts on this site and am putting some of the advice into practice. i have suffered with anxiety since i was a child. it runs in the family. i cant remember a time when i havent been scared of dying of some deadly disease or imagine a horrific scenario where someone close to me dies. it just goes on. i never told anyone about my fears until a year or two ago as i feel like such a freak about the whole thing and i guess was embarrassed to tell anyone. when i did tell my closest friends (2 of them) they were totally shocked as i seem on the surface like such a happy go-lucky kind of girl. always smiling and laughing but inside feeling that i am going to die tomorrow. having kids has made it worse as there are more people in my life to worry myself sick about. i am ok most of the time at the moment as i am back on meds but sometimes just out of the blue something happens and i am back to square one. i used to be able to talk to my mum about it as she has suffered with anxiety and depression for years and understands but as she´s getting older she´s gets more and more worried about me and i dont want to upset her with my fears time and time again.

thanks for reading

x

[angie]

I understand exactly how u feel!!! It runs in my family as well...my older sister is completely immobilized in her own home!!! She won't leave her house and is scared of dying everyday!!! I haven't gotten to that point, and pray to god I never will....seeing her saddens me and don't ever wanna be in her shoes....I do suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, and have fallen into a depression.....I have this fear that something horrid is going to happen to me...what's worse is I'm at home with my 3yr old and I'm terrified that if something happens to me, he will get scared...and who will get to him fast enough!!! If I can be if any support please message me.. I will be more than happy to hear u out!!

[glassrose777]

I feel the same way. I have been afraid if dying, my family dying, or just something bad happening. I have had this fear for as long as I can remember. It was usually just a brief period of panic then I would be fine. In high school I had a huge panic attack out of no where and didn't leave my hous for a week. After this the feelings would come and go but I was for the most part ok. Just this Saturday I agreed to panic out of no where. No reason just started to freak out and it has continued and is currently continuing. I keep feeling like something is gonna happen like I'm gonna die. I hate feeling like this I feel like it will never stop. It's like I'm stuck in this period of fear with no way out. I'm afraid o have another attack and my chest feels tight and have a hard time breathing but even though I know it's all anxiety I still freak that it's something more serious. I'm so upsetthis happened and scared. I haven't fel likethia in years. It's horrible. It's like I can't remember hat it's like to be ok. Horrid feeling.

[wannabhappy]

I feel the exact same way, everyday the same awful, dreadful feelings! What can we do??

[mouse25]

I have gone back to taking my meds. I have used them on and off over the years and i can kind of gauge when i need them. i dont like taking meds for anything usually but it makes me feel better and gets me through these difficult phases. the side effects arent great - bit spaced out and serious desert tongue - which only last for the first couple of weeks of being back on the meds but i figure that it´s better that than hiding myself in the bathroom until an attack passes. work is the hardest bit. i am constantly around people and answering the phone is awful but i am not in a position to call in sick. a friend of mine who goes to a life-coach told me that i need to change my thought process and try and eliminate all the bad things i feel with good things. she told me to write down all the good things in my life such as supportive family, healthy kids etc and try and focus on those when i feel myself start panicking. it does help to some degree but i think i need more practice. she told me that i have to train my brain into being positive and even talk to myself (that wouldnt make me look like a freak would it?!?) to get myself back onto a positive track.

[orachahalion]

Hey there, you are not alone in here, thats one thing for sure.

I hope that you find the help and support to get well again.