Don't be sorry! I don't any advice but I'm weirdly happy to see someone struggling with the same issues I am struggling with.
In terms of the personality thing I have gotten to the point where whenever I am with my friends I can tell that they are my friends and they're lovely and supporting but as soon as I am not with them I start to over analyse and I don't understand why anyone would want to be friends with someone like me and I just see all of our interactions as being forced and weird.