Trying to figure this out....

[clphotos]

I've never posted on a forum before so this is a first. Let me explain a bit about myself. I'm 21, a senior in college (double major, double minor). Had a final interview with the Discovery Channel as a photographer last monday and i'm now waiting to find out if my life is going to take a 360 in 2 months.

My anxiety comes in spurts. I'll feel great for a month and then I'll have 2 panic attacks a day, sometimes for 2 weeks straight. The last week has been stressful and I'm so sick of being on edge. I have such irrational thoughts and behaviors. I get irritated easily which I do not normally experience and I get so mad at myself for having to deal with all of it. I have so much going for me but yet i get in ruts where i can't hardly get myself to do anything.

It kills me sometimes to be in such a great, carefree, confident mood for a while and then it drops to this terrible, scary one i'm in now. I've been dealing with anxiety for so long but, as I just told my boyfriend, I can't deal with this by myself anymore. He lives 2.5 hours away from me, my parents don't believe in emotional problems, and my health insurance doesn't cover doctor visits or medicine for anxiety (which I found out after having one visit).

I don't really know what I'm trying to get out of this post but I just wanted to put it out there.
Thanks for any help you can give.
-Cory

[whutsurnaym]

That sounds a bit like me in a way. You feel fine a lot of the time, but you get random anxiety spurts. The thing I usually do is be with a close friend. If they understand what's going on, they can help you through whatever panic you may experience.