Ever just have a bout of bad thinking?

[panicked24_7]

I'm really trying to get over my anxiety. I'm doing some exposure therapy (by myself) and utilizing what I've researched on how to sort of "train" my mind. However, some days, like today, I just feel down and hopeless. Like no matter how hard I try, I feel like I'm always gonna over-analyze and think the worst and continue to bow out of things I used to enjoy.

I would really like to see a professional and I had an appointment this weekend...but lack of funds prevented me from going. Does anyone have these bouts? I guess this is considered a setback? UGH.

[jessed03]

(I keep posting this in the wrong threads... But I think it's better here. I think this is the best way to find mental peace. No other method worked long term for me. When you think about it, all therapy, exposure, cbt... it's all based on this ancient principle. To get you to stop identifying, and believing things. Mental peace is so much easier than it seems. It just takes an awareness change.)

Every single thought or feeling you ever have, is only ever an idea.

Let the thoughts and feelings be there. Never encourage them and never get involved with them, but don't fight it, or push it in. If you're mind wants to think it, let the thought come, wear itself out, and go. If fear arises with it, watch that feeling too. It will come, and it too will go.

Watch it desperately try to draw you in. It's like a tough salesman. It'll do anything in it's power to draw your attention to it. Use every dirty trick it's got. You don't have to fall for any of it. It'll scare you with everything it's got, death, embarassment, pain etc... But if you aren't fighting it, there's no tension, no resistance, it's free to flow out of you, instead of back down inside. After a while, it loses it's spell. You've heard everything it has to say. Felt the emotions. There's nowhere for it to go. You'll realise it doesn't have the slightest bit of power. Not an ounce. Unless you believe in it.

So how do you stop believing in it?

When you realise you can watch them, you realise all thoughts and emotions are just ideas. They are all equal. The only difference is, you pay attention to some, and focus on some. You get involved in them. So they keep coming. You believe in the ideas they tell you. You believe what they say, like they have prophetic power.

The scam with anxiety and thoughts, is we’re decived at how easy it actually is. We constantly think it’s so hard, that we have to do all these things. Discover all these things. Reach all these final conclusion. Control all these things. But you don't. Just cut the juice! When everything in your mind is allowed to be there, when every emotion in your body is allowed to be there, then they all become equal again. You aren't emphasizing one, and fighting the others.

No thought can arise, and demand your attention. It simply doesn’t have the power to. It can only tempt you in with stories, and hope you bite, and pay full attention to it. That brings it to life.

You can quit your job as the 24/7 traffic controller. You no longer have to stand there, allowing certain things in, and desperately stopping others.
Everything can come. Everything can go.

All thoughts you will ever have are equal. They are all passing, and all weightless. Identifying with them, believing in them, gives them power. With some awareness, and practice, you realize this. Test it out. It works for everybody

Most things in the world don't have to be beaten, or overcome. They simply evaporate on their own with the right understanding. Sometime's it's literally as simple as paying attention to something else. With some observation, you find you no longer believe these thoughts, they have no power whatsoever, and they lead to nowhere but stress and depression. You don't focus on something else out of fear, or out of desperation, but simply because there are things far, far more interesting and beautiful, than this massive waste of time, leading nowhere but round and round, that goes on inside your head. You, on your own, realize that it's a collosal waste of time getting involved, and naturally just stop going there.

The only pitful, is that when people take on this approach, to allow all feelings to come and go, they get caught back into the trap. They think to themselves, 'this isn't working, I'm not feeling great. Thoughts aren't flowing. They feel frustrated as the feelings aren't flolwing through quickly. But of course, because the process isn't quite complete. You started to believe in them again. The thought telling you, this is failing, was it's one last attempt at sucking you back in. The feeling of frustration because you feel no progress is made, has got you stuck again. In the final part of the journey, they caught you when you least expected it. You became stuck again as you focused intently and believed the stories. Once you've found even thoughts of impatience, and frustration are allowed to be there, and flow through... You finally have mental peace, and the body get's the message. It realizes you no longer need this process. You've moved on to something better. That thoughts and feelings of this level have done their job. They've taken you to a new level of knowledge, and you need something to echo that. So they calm down. You are more aware of life. You experience it more clearly as you aren't trapped in your head,
All that's left are thoughts of joy, and appreciation, and feelings of calm.

A wise man once said "When the mind is free, good habits are formed on their own, and bad ones destroyed without effort."

It will feel quite strange for a while, but it will be an emotional detox for you. It will get it all out there. When you create tension, and resistance by fighting things, and blocking things out, then you've created a barrier. When there's a barrier, things can get stuck. Fears have a place to stick to. When you allow everything to flow through, as it pleases, nothing can get stuck to you It will all come, and pass. Until the process happens so quickly, you never even notice it. It will then become irrelevant, and barely happen at all.

[jessed03]

And I mean, I was the biggest over thinker ever. They gave me benzo after benzo to calm it down. It was so deep, so rapid, so intense, I would shake. I couldn't ever sleep.
I was missing life, ya know? I was in my head, confusing everything, not experiencing anything properly. Creating self-fulfilling prophecies.

This philosophy was the most profound thing in my life :)

[panicked24_7]

Thanks for that, I appreciate it! I find that having my blog is a great way to experience all of my thoughts. Whatever crazy thing is going through my head, I blog about it. Who cares if people read it and say "This chick is whacked," they don't know who I am. It's like sending something out into the void. And hey, if it helps someone that might have the same thoughts and feelings, even better. Like I said in a previous post...even if no one reads my blog, it's like a journal. I'm hoping to one day read back on it and laugh and think "Wow...I can't believe I ever thought I couldn't beat this." But alas, I have a long road ahead.

[jessed03]

Exactly :)

Get it all out. What's the point of keeping it inside. Let it out. There's far more space outside than there is inside the body! I remember doing it all when my anxiety was bad. Drawing, writing, talking. Whatever method helps. Being embarrassed or afraid of feeling it, only creates more anxiety. We just have this strange idea of keeping it all quiet. From the moment we're born, we're smacked, and we cry...And it's natural, it's a great sign. Then for the rest of our lives, everybody tells us "Stop crying", "Stop getting angry" "Stop being over-excited" We never know what we're allowed to feel!

If it's all allowed to come up, and go out, it can never build up. :)

[Sunny Days]

I just want to say I think jessed03 is always right on and has some of the best information to offer!! :)