Big decision...

[miss_mac666]

So im sitting in my parlor with my boyfriend and im having a hard time with coping with my anxiety. My boyfriend gets stressed out when i have episode and i feel horrible that i do that to him. most of the time i keep my thoughts and my anxiety to myself. but when i cant take it anymore i completely break down emotionally. and i just calmed down from doing it again. im thinkin about signing myself into treatment but im terribly horrified. i dont want to seem like one of the crazies but i honestly cant do thhis shit on my own anymore. im breaking down emotionally and i look horrible. i look like a zombie and im not sleeping at all. i really need to do this for myself. i need to get better but i cant do it on my own. my thoughts are getting stronger and stronger. i just want it to leave me alone and give me some F***ing peace for once.

[1125]

You mean admitting yourself to a ward? :( Do you have good insurance because that will be TONS of money? I feel your pain. Is there a possibility you can talk to a psychiatrist or a psychologist before/instead of admitting yourself. If I remember correctly, we are around the same age. 26 right? I know I couldn't afford it. Are you having thoughts of hurting yourself or others? Otherwise, I don't know if they will admit you. They might only hold you overnight. Still very expensive.
You can get through this girl! I have faith in you! Your parlor? do you live in a old house? sorry trying to get your mind off anxiety stuff. My BF and I bought a Victorian 3 years ago.(well he bought it...... I'm broke.)
I know you are terrified, but if you truly feel like there are no other options and this will give you peace; try to admit yourself. I am so sorry you are feeling so horrible. :(

[miss_mac666]

i just feell so alone and so hopeless. i cant stop crying, i just want this bullshit to stop. i have had enough of it. the parlor is the living room. im from boston so i actually say it "pahlah" i talk funny

[1125]

Ha! I'm from STL so we pronounce things differently too. You are not alone. You have people on here and your BF. I say "warsher' for washer. Have you heard of "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook". It have workbook pages and lots of advice on obsessive thinking/anxiety/panic attacks/depression. It helped me. Sadly, I cannot find it anymore. Lost it when I moved out of my mom's house. Boston accents are cool! Way cooler than STL! But we have Nelly and the Arch! ;)

[miss_mac666]

i wish i had that workbook.... i have obsessive thoughts that keep me from eating and im so weak and tired. i just wanna live normally. im going into the chat so it will be easier if you wanna talk.