Need help.

[Nac34]

First post on here and I don't know where to start.

Back when I was 13 I left school because of bullying. I got so bad I would go outside the front door how ever after help from the doctor an something clicked in my head after about 4 years I then started going out and made friends again etc. I then met a girl and was with her for 3 years and finished I went in a rut but some how didn't fall into one asmuch as I did in the passed.

The problem now is I met a another girl who I known all my life both of us have been together for 2 and half years but have just split up. This is my fault because when we would go out places like for a meal I would start feeling sick or something so then it got to the stage where I would make excuses to go out incase I felt Ill. Not only that but because of what happened in the passed I wasn't allowing myself to look forward to the future etc. I have realised what is wrong with me and the day I realised is the day we split up. I begged for her help but wouldn't have none of it. So now with her gone I feel like I'm going back to the days of my teens and scared of it.

I been to the dr and they told me to read a book about anxiety so that's the reason I found this forum. I'm thinking of leaving my job as I'm stuck in the same place on my own and at the moment sat doing nothing at all. I am thinking of leaving the job to find one where I'm in a remand socialising it means taking a cut in pay but in the long run I think it could help me. But I'm not sure if I should take the risk that it will work for me. This is another problem of mine where I can never make my mind up.

Any views or help that I could get or do
Thanks

[Suzzy]

Hiya! Well as far as the anxiety goes, the best thing I can suggest is to try CBT. Its one of the best things out there and helps a huge amount of anxiety sufferers! I can relate to a lot of what you are saying.... i constantly make excuses not to go out because i feel ill and have very few friends as a result. They've gradually given up on me - not that i blame them! Im sorry to hear about your relationship troubles.... if you have exlained everything to her and she still doesnt want to be involved then i guess she isnt the girl for you. You have to be with someone who accepts you for what you are and will support you through the bad times. I'm lucky in that respect, ive recently got married to the most amazing guy. He totally accepts me and my stupid anxiety-ridden ways... I would suggest focussing on you for now and getting better. If you havent already, try some therapy as that could really help! And as for giving up work, im not sure that i'd recommend it. I had to give up work in december due to back problems... i thought some time off would do me and my anxiety some good but it has had the opposite effect and i find i have too much time to sit andworry about things. Plus, once you are out of the work loop, its very difficult to get the courage to get back in to it! Not sure if any of that helps you but just wanted to say that you're not alone! x

[alankay]

Nac, I would not make a decision on work until your feelinn better, more yourself. Never make big decision when your very anxious. See a doc and get on an ssri and may be CBT and see a counselor to work though this all. As for the gril, if she is unaccepting there are others who are so if she cannot have a relationship with an anxious fellow, leave her go and hope she finds her best fit while you look for yours. We are all different.
Books are great but really a doc and therapist is the best place to start for help with anxiety. PM me any time. Alankay