Old symptoms gone. New ones came. Someone, plz read, so alone.

[NativeLady_2010]

So I was doing my best coping, grieving, moving along. I was doing my deep breathing and keeping calm. Letting the tears flow, not holding them in, continuing with daily life even when I felt awful. The nocturnal attacks FINALLY lifted. I sleep through the night. I thank God everynight. Now the past week things have changed. I feel uneasy, a weird headache emerges. It literally stops me in my tracks and I have to remember what I am doing. I had to leave work for the first time and actually went to the ER! I NEVER have gone to the er before for this. I thought I was having a stroke on sat night. It was just a weird headache and I felt fuzzy and disorientated. I feel defeated. I get cold and hot, then there are times that I have to grit my teeth and hold my breath. LIke I am on a rollercoster. I will be just moving along and it just turns on by itself without warning. I feel as though I am going to explode. A powerful energy. BUt at the same time I can't cry! IDK whats going on. Never felt this way at all. I still get up in the morning. I'm still going somehow. I feel like I am on auto pilot, like this isn't me. I'm in such a weird place. Just a week ago I was starting to feel better. The thing that I am constantly worrying about, besides my anxiety is my female health. I have something going on down there. Pains in my pelvis. Terrified they are going to take my copper IUD out. I am terrified that I will get pregnant again without it. Pregnancy terrifies me because I am type 2 diabetic. I am obsessed about my sugar levels. I take it like 5x a day. Even though I am controlled. My a1c is 5.3. I am a hot mess. 28 years old and so tired. Tired of being me. Its so not fair. I just want to be normal. I appear like I am, for my 4 year old daughters sake. But inside I am dying. Just when I think I get a hold on it, it slips out of my hands and flops a differant way. I miss my Grandma. its been over a month now. I still really miss her.

[NativeLady_2010]

I need a better way to explain this feeling. I think if I can understand it more, I can get over it faster. Its like when someone runs there nails.across a chalkboard, or when you bite on foil with a filling in your tooth. I get this fuzzy headache. Hmmm, maybe I am losing it. But thays how I feel. Like im wound up in a tight ball. At the very edge of anticipation. Never ending. Boy, its been a loooong 3 months.

[kellyzac]

Hiya sorry to hear you feel this way crap isn't it! I know just how you feel and i have and get all those symtoms. Go to your doctor about the pain even if you have it out they can sort you contraception out for straight away. Try ( i no its hard) to tell yourself this is just a blip you will feel like your getting better againn soon sometimes when you fear the symtoms and start the o no its happening again im always going to feel this way kind of thinking just prolongs it. Have you tried counseling or anything like that. But for now really perservere with trying to make yourself relax everyday with tapes cds or maybe yoga it will start to help soon.

kellyx