I feel like a terrible person sometimes

[okami1995]

So, basically, to start off, I'll tell you that my dad's a janitor and my mum's a care worker. In about 2009, I said some stupid things that I didn't even mean, and now it's surfaced in my memory again. Basically, I had a conversation with my mum about wanting to do well at school, which I wasn't doing at the time, so as not to become a failure in life. When my mum asked me what I thought would be failure, I was for some reason agitated, can't remember why, it was too long ago, and said janitor or care worker. She didn't seem offended at the time, and I soon forgot about it. I didn't think about it for years until just yesterday, and now I feel horrible about it. I didn't even mean it, it was a stupid comment that came out of my mouth without any molecule of thought going into it, but I never apologized for it, I just forgot about it. I don't know if my mum remembers it or not, but still, I have to apologize for it, because it was terrible of me to say it, and if she does remember, I don't want her to think that's my actual opinion of her. I feel like a terrible person for this, and it's causing me a lot of anxiety, so please, tell me how I can bring this up and apologize for it.

[scared&worried]

Maybe take your mom out for a coffee/tea or make her lunch, etc and just bring it up. Let her know that it's something that has been bothering you. Lay it all out to her the way you did in your post. She will probably appreciate hearing it, and it will probably make you feel better too. And remember....parents always want their children to grow up to be even more successful then them. Don't be so hard on yourself...we all say stuff at some point that we don't necessarily mean. Apologize and feel better. Let us know how it goes!

[jessed03]

Some of the best people in the world dont have real jobs or earn a living . The pope , mother teresa , dalai lama are but a few



I hear there's a few folks on the anxiety forum that aren't short of a good post or two ;)

But yeah, if you feel the need to get something off your chest, and clear the air, then it's something you should try to do. People are very forgiving when they see you are genuine, and they see the humanity in your situation. Let her know you're going through a rough patch. That you're frustrated, and it's coming out in these ways. Maybe you don't even have to bring it up. Just focus on the now, like Kev said. Show her you appreciate her, take her for coffee was mentioned above, buy her a gift, or even better, just give her a hug. Tell her you're grateful for the effort she put's in. It's human to want to show others we appreciate them, when we have anxiety, or depression, it can often get a little confusing on how to, as our moods can get a little up and down. When I broke down, I gave my Mum absolute hell, even though she took me back in her home. Arguement's, insult's, all out of confusion and frustration. But I snuck little things in here and there. Card's, apologies, explanations, little displays of affection. It's all I could manage at the time, but she understood the message behind it.

After waking them constantly night after night for years with screaming, nappies and tantrums, parent's become pretty used to it being a tough job at times.

I can tell instantly that you're a good person. If I can tell it over an online forum, your parent's will know it for sure.

Keep you're head up.