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okami1995
02-12-2012, 11:45 AM
So basically, I have been bullied my entire life at school. In my second or third year at secondary school, or high school if you‘re from America, in an attempt to fit in, I picked on someone else. Two people actually, but only in individual, isolated incidents. I was very immature at the time, and as I said, it felt as if I was unwanted by anyone, so I was desperate to fit in any way. Now, however, I have matured and in year 10 and 11 I made true friends and stopped worrying about what others thought of me. I no longer felt the need to fit in with people I don’t even like in the first place. However, there was one more incident. In year 11, there was a year seven using the toilet, and basically, me and a group of other year 11’s made fun of him. It was only afterwards that I realized that it had been bullying and I felt terrible about it, just thinking how dreadful that poor year 7 was feeling. Now, this has come back to haunt me. I’m not a bully, and thankfully these are the only three incidents of me doing so. At the time of doing I didn’t even think of it as bullying, it’s only on hindsight that I realized it is. I feel terrible about all of these, especially the more recent one, though it was months ago now, before I finished school. By the third incident, I thought I had a better comprehension of people’s feelings, but to think I did something like that without even stopping to think about how the poor guy felt being mocked by a group. I know how that feels, it’s horrible. I need some way to get over this and move on, because it’s really getting to me.

alankay
02-12-2012, 11:54 AM
OK, you need to forgive yourself too sometimes. We all screw up since we are human. It's not like you beat the snot out of the kid, etc. I mean something really bad. Unless you can apologize to the kid, you need to just learn from these things. Plus when you are anxious you can tend to obsess over these type things too. Make up for it by just being a good egg to folks, helping others, etc. Alankay