Worrying 24/7 about Global Events

[rowlarry]

Hi all

This is my first post here- I'm from London, England and have has a few issues since November 2011 with Anxiety, Worry, Dread, Fear for the future.

I have always been a bit of a worrier, as a kid I used to worry about quite major things: Global Warming, War, Death of my family etc.
I have kept this all under control up until recently, with a few minor relapses over the years when I would get preoccupied over something.

At the end of last year, I turned 30, found out my wife was pregnant, and we had been trying to move house for over a year. Quite a lot going on, but mainly positive. Or so I thought. I started to become preoccupied with the future, and became increasingly convinced that we are potentially heading for a global conflict leading to a World War, where we will all perish.

I find myself at times obsessively checking news websites and opinion pieces on the latest conflicts, for evidence that it will spiral out of control, like I anticipated.
One thing after another replace the worry- recently, it was N.Korea, then Iran, now Syria.
I have debilitating feelings of dread, fear of death, and helplessness. I know that normal people should be concerned about these things, but not to the detriment of everything else, surely?

I have been referred for CBT, but will have to wait 3/4 weeks for this. Today has been particularly bad, and I feel like crying, for fear of the future and for the stress I am putting on my pregnant wife.

Any thoughts, responses would be welcomed as to how I can get a better perspective on my life at the moment.

Thank you.

[jessed03]

Hey Rowlarry

3/4 weeks is pretty good with regards to the time it takes to get CBT. I had to wait about 3 months for it.

I want to run two things by you, to consider. See how they make you feel.

The first is; the future, it doesn't exist. It never has done, and never will do. That's really bizarre to hear, right? But it's true. Even if you lived forever, you would never reach a point that is "The Future". You'll only experience an infinite number of 'Now' moments. Time will always keep passing, but the future isn't a destination. So how does this relate to anxiety? My therapist told me the future is a bad dream for people. We envision the image, and it causes anxiety. Both types do, the good thoughts, and the bad thoughts. The bad thoughts cause anxiety in the obvious way, we see the car crash happening, and we can do nothing to stop it, we reach out our hand to stop it, but we grab nothing but air. There is nothing material about it whatsoever. The Good thoughts affect anxiety in the sense that; We see ourself heading towards a good thing. A new baby, a promotion, marriage, happiness... whatever it may be. But we aren't there. It hasn't arrived. We are then filled with this deep fear, that we may never get there. It may never happen. It could all go wrong. We again try to reach out, and grab it, bring it in and hold it, but we can't, because again, it isn't physical. As your question asked, if you want to improve your life at the moment, it's quite simple, live in the moment.

This may sound a little new age, but it ties firmly in with psychology. When we live in this perceived future, we have no control. It's a figment of our imagination, and our imagination can cause all sorts of mishaps to happen, based on worry. This is where anxiety disorders, and OCD (obsessional disorders) come into play. Your mind, will do anything it can to gain control, somehow, even if it's only over a small thing. This is why we obsess, it gives us a feeling, just a small one, of having some sort of power, if we obsess, it gives us the illusion that we can do something, change something. The mind needs that, and the more you give it to it, the more it believes that's the answer, until you find yourself obsessing, and compulsively doing certain act's that you can't really stop. The present is where people have power. It's where people can change things. It's right where they are now. You need to learn to keep your attention here.

I hear a lot of people say, but if I don't focus on the future, I will miss something, something will slip passed me, I will be unprepared. This is just again, anxiety, and it's asuccession of falsities. You're from the UK, do you remember those adverts they keep showing? Road traffic awareness adverts - "That shop that's always open. That red car that never moves....." And it goes on to say, almost 80% of road accidents, happen within 3 miles of your home. How crazy is that? The roads we know like the back of our hand, are almost 5 times more dangerous than others. It's because we lose our awareness. We lose our concentration and focus of what's around us. We start getting lost inside our head. "What will I make for dinner?... How long will it take me to do that paper work?.... I wonder if my wife's home?.... I had a horrible day today." The same is true of life. Focus on whats around you. On what you are doing. When making dinner, focus on it. When talking with your wife, focus on it. When at work, focus on it. This is where your power lies.

I remember the story of a young boy, asking a martial art's expert: "Master, I want to learn your martial art, how long will it take?"
The master replies "Ten years."
The boy thinks and says "What if I work really hard?"
"20 years..." replies the master.
The boy looks discouraged, and says "I'll practice 12 hours a day, and get three teachers, AND read all the books"
The master ponders, before replying "30 years..."
"Why is it, the harder I say I'll work, the longer it will take?" the boy says defeatedly.
"Simple" says the Master, smiling, "If you always have one eye on the destination, you'll only ever have one eye on the path!"

Secondly, what would happen, how would you feel, if you went a week, with NO TV news, NO newspaper, NO google search, NO political discussion?

I want to talk psychology with you. This is as close to a magic bullet as I have ever found in my life. There are two opposite energies/emotions/feelings (whatever word you want to call them) that determine every other emotion/thought or feeling you have. Love and Fear. Modern psychology believes the opposite of love, isn't hate, it's fear. Fear is what all negative emotions are sprung out of; Jealousy, anger, bitterness, worry, anxiety. Modern Psychology has also proven, that the mind cannot harbour both feelings at once. They are opposite. Your emotions are borne out of love, or they are borne out of fear. If you make a fundamental shift in your mental attitude, you can find depression, and anxiety almost evaporate. Begin seeing love. For yourself, and for others. Even in the most impossible situations. Find something to admire about it, find something to praise about it, find something right about it, find something positive about it. The next time you find yourself online, and you have the temptation to feed your fear response, DON'T. Feed the love response. Sit and think what an amazing human acheivement it is, to be able to connect the world using microscopic cable fibres. The next time you're tempted to turn on the news, and engage in a fear response, turn on a comedy and laugh. In time, you'll realise that fundamental shift has taken place. This doesn't involve ignoring your fears. You face them, and you face life. But in life we see what we want to see. We find what we look for.

A young Eskimo once asked his father; "I want to be good, I try, but it's just so hard. How can I get better at it?"
His father responded; "In all of us, there are two wolves, and they are fighting. One wolf represent's love, compassion, forgiveness, peace and generosity. The other wolf represents greed, jealousy, insecurity, worry and anger. The one that wins? It's the one you keep feeding."

"What we seek we shall find; what we flee from flees from us.”

What I've mentioned above is far from a total cure, I believe your therapist will deal with the logistics of that. There is a deep fear in you, that he/she will find, and help you challenge and understand it. And it will work. I hope I've just managed to show you some of the path to allowing yourself some peace, and enjoying the life you're currently living. For now, in regards to practical application, I would cease all actions which you know feed your anxiety. The ones you mentioned, and any you didn't.

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.”

All the best, and my congratulations to you and your wife! :)

[vonnhelsing]

very interesting post jessed03. really enjoyed reading that and you're totally correct. being really positive and living in the 'now' and not pondering about the future constantly will really eradicate anxious thoughts. :) i've stopped reading the news and i've stopped watching scary movies.

[alankay]

News/media is not so good for us anxious folks. But the world will turn as it has since the beginning and for many, many, many years more so don't fret over all this. The News wants to get your attention so can over dramatize things allot. Case in point there is no such thing as global warming....................sorry.
Try and find what really making you anxious and work on that.
Keep your powder dry as they say and let the world go around. Alankay.

[rowlarry]

Good Morning,

Thanks to all those have replied- especially you buddy who practically wrote an essay!

These responses help, they really do- I have often thought that it is about putting things into perspective, and this is what I am struggling with at present for who knows what reason. It has affected me because I have always been one of those people who has to have something to look forward to- I really live in the future, which I now recognise is something I need to solve. It's hard to be positive in the present when you feel that all you have to look forward to is death, war, poverty etc.

I want to see my child born, move house, and do all these things before I die. I will probably get to do so, but I just can't rid of this voice in my head that is affecting me. Hopefully the CBT will help, and I hope more than anything this is a phase to get over. Thanks again.

Yours

Larry


News/media is not so good for us anxious folks. But the world will turn as it has since the beginning and for many, many, many years more so don't fret over all this. The News wants to get your attention so can over dramatize things allot. Case in point there is no such thing as global warming....................sorry.
Try and find what really making you anxious and work on that.
Keep your powder dry as they say and let the world go around. Alankay.

[jessed03]

I got carried away haha, I only intended to write about 5 lines :)

I had this same kind of problem for a long time in my life. Probably for around 10 years. From mid teen's onwards. I probably should have gotten help, but I just assumed it was normal. I thought it was everybody else that was being a bit ignorant. All I saw was them killing themselves at work, and financially, taking everything so seriously, we we just had death, and illness to look forward to. That in the end, What was the point?

I just couldn't see the point of it all. The more we attained, the more we robbed the earth, killed the rainforest, and polluted everything. The more we lived, the closer we were to death. I wasn't sure why I was supposed to be doing anything. I couldn't control anything, government's were egotistical and greedy, and people, in most cases incredibly naive and stupid All this tragedy in life, but they were happy at 5:30pm, when they arrived in the Pub. I had actually lot's to do in life, I had a partner I loved, a family I cared about, a business. But there was just doom and gloom at every corner, everything was impermanent, and eventually, it was going to get me.

So I talked to my therapist about it. I asked him about these questions I had. What is the point/purpose of it all? What we all supposed to be doing on Earth? How can I not live in fear, when there are greedy, selfish people out there, and there are all of these diseases, illnesses and death? And I wasn't given anything. The question's weren't even acknowledged, I wasn't given any insight, or wisdom. They weren't even taken seriously. I felt it was a bit unfair. These were the serious question's of life, afterall!

And my therapist told me, it isn't the questions you ask that I'm concerned about, it's why you ask them. The healthy body and mind, don't dwell on these sort's of questions. So we did work on my anxiety, and we did work on my depression, and 5 months later, I left therapy, and haven't had those kind of thought's again - which has been years.

It work's similar to this: When your eyes are functioning normally, you don't feel them, or notice them. It's only when something is out of tune, that they feel heavy, or spots or wiggles appear. The same as the ears; when the ears are functioning normally, they don't hear themselves. It's only when something happen's, or we become sick, that we hear a ringing in them.

The mind is the same way. The mind isn't designed to feel itself, or to be aware of it's own existence. It's just totally out of line with every aspect of evolution. If we're busy trying to comprehend ourselves, we'll miss out on danger. We'd never have made it.

Somewhere along the line, maybe accidently, or through stress, or physically, the chemistry in your body altered. It's always useful to ensure the basic's in life are taken care of; That you sleep well, that you exercise, that you have no health issue bothering you (such as stomach complaint, or headaches, which could signal something is off), that you eat well and get all your nutrients, that you're hydrated, that you get enough sunlight (which is really hard in UK winter time, I know), that you have social contact, and that you are busy.

Assuming all those are normal, it means the balance is off in the mind. This could be through the chemical side of things, or the thought side of things. They both affect each other anyway, so there isn't a huge need to fuss over which. Fixing this issue, getting wayward thoughts back into place, talking out problem's, eliminating thinking error's, or destructive pattern's, will ensure the Serotonin supply in your brain begin's to top itself back up, and begin's to become regular again.

This is when you notice thing's like that disappear. You stop feeling yourself, and you stop feeling your mind. Things begin to function normally again. Everything click's back into place, and feels effortless. The same way when the ringing in the ear stops, you stop hearing yourself. When the thought's that you aren't able to process, are processed, you stop noticing your mind, and become far, far more engaged in life.

Another essay, I know! I just can't seem to help myself :)

[rowlarry]

Jessed03

Many thanks again for your time and effort in responding, it is really appreciated.

Your post described in a nutshell (albeit a large one!) everything that I have been feeling over the past few months, which incidentally have been some of the longest and most unhappy of my life to date due to these feelings. It is really heartening to know that you have managed to find peace at the end of it all, and are feeling good.

This illness has had a profound effect on me; as I am writing this now at work I have tears welling up in my eyes as I struggle to cope with the constant fears that occupy my every waking moment, 24/7. Writing this down is hard, but it feels like something I should do.

I have always felt an empathy to those who struggle with mental illness, thinking that it must be horrendous to have this private, internal struggle for which you have no relief. Now I know the feeling.

It is a changing feeling too; I normally feel better in the morning, deteriorate during the day, and I am so strung out by bedtime that I look forward to sleep as a respite from life. Not healthy, but my only way of coping at the moment. I find myself feeling sleepy a lot, as I feel my body is learning this method of displacement; again not a healthy cycle to get into. The same thing happens as the week goes on- I feel worse as the days go by, and on the last couple of Friday’s the fear has crystallised into something specific: I get totally convinced we will all die in a Nuclear War before the end of 2012, mainly due to Iran and the events in the middle east.

Weekends allow me some ‘breathing space’, and I sometimes have moments of clarity where I can see how ridiculous I’m being, and how it is affecting my enjoyment of life. I had quite a ‘normal’ weekend, with only a few glances at BBC News to satisfy my fears. I was busy all day Saturday, which helped a lot. I tend to dread Sundays now whereas before I would relax and chill out, as the lack of stuff to do doesn’t distract me from my fears.

Today however is a different story- woke up a bit late, with a feeling of dread in my stomach and my mind churning over remembering a quote that someone had made about the whole situation in the Middle East, and how there would be a ‘crisis’ there before long. This basically lead to me succumbing to searching the Internet again today and scaring myself silly. I am so annoyed with myself.

My analysis of this situation is that I have a Death phobia- scared of losing my wife, family and that there is nothing after death- just eternal blackness. I try to reassure myself that if the worst happens I would have no knowledge of it anyway, but it doesn’t seem to help much.

I am incredibly grateful that I have a wonderful wife who is being incredibly supportive. But she is nearly 6 months pregnant, and it feeds my bad feelings to think of the pressure I am putting on her, at a time when she shouldn’t be getting anxious. At what point will it become too much? I don’t want this to affect her too much, so I find myself acting OK and cheering her up, whilst feeling miserable inside. This is part of the problem I think- I want to meet my baby son so much it hurts- but I may not be able to.

I am on a waiting list to see a therapist to start CBT, which I hope will be soon but I feel myself getting worse. I am even starting to think that taking medication might be a good idea, despite being dead set against it a few weeks ago- the reasoning is anything must be better than the joyless existence I feel at the moment. I try and take my mind off it, but it is becoming increasingly difficult; It feels like the fear is ever present in my life.

I am hoping that I get to speak to someone soon- any tips for effective treatment in the meantime would be welcome. Even if it is telling me that I’m worrying over nothing!

Thanks for reading.

Larry

[natbaby]

Larry,

You're worrying over nothing!! Lol, all kidding aside, my anxiety is similar to yours only I also suffer from severe health anxiety. I don't know which is going to take me out first - an asteroid hitting the planet, WWIII, or a heart attack. Mornings are worse for me - I wake up tense, nervous, shaky, and I can only wrap my mind around doing minimal things to get ready for work (brush my teeth, brush my hair, etc). I have to do most of my preparing (such as shower) in the evening. As the day goes on things gradually get better. The sun comes out, the birds sing, and I start to snap out of it a bit. One thing that has helped put the global events fear in perspective for me is my brother, who served 4 tours in Iraq as part of US Army Infantry. He has such a different outlook on life now, and I am in awe of him and so inspired by how he lives his life - which is day by day. He has shared some of the things he experienced while at war, and it helps me appreciate the wonderful life I have so much more. It doesn't mean that my anxiety is cured, far from it, but it helps me to see that life is precious and instead of worrying mine away I should try to focus on the things I have right now - a wonderful husband who is so understanding and wonderfully puts up with "crazy" me, and a beautiful daughter who puts a smile in my heart every day. I am still afraid, so very afraid, but I will get a few of those moments every day where real life breaks through. For those few moments, I'm not afraid, and it feels so GREAT! Sorry for my rambling philosophy on life, but I'm actually having a pretty good day today and feeling insightful. Tomorrow, however, someone may have to remind me of all of the things I just said!! Congratulations to you and your wife on your upcoming addition to your family!! Children are a wonderful blessing that help remind us of the beauty in this world!

Hugs from the US!
Natalie

[PanicCured]

It is never good to worry or obsess, but come on, if you aren't at least slightly concerned or a little freaked out about what's going on in the world nowadays you'd have to be numb.

[jessed03]

It is never good to worry or obsess, but come on, if you aren't at least slightly concerned or a little freaked out about what's going on in the world nowadays you'd have to be numb.

Very true. His condition is a little more extensive than worry, as you put, but I understand the point.

With all the pain, uncertainty and doom and gloom in the world, with everything from our body, to our economic and environmental structure, resting upon minute margins, I often view sufferers of anxiety and depression as being too sane at time.