Ked
02-02-2012, 02:42 PM
Hey, feel a tad.. silly I guess would be the word to use posting this but figure I should try and get some advice somewhere. I'll apologise if this isn't laid out in a great way or anything.. I'm not overly sure what I want to say or ask. :/
So hey. I'm a 27 year old gay guy and have been dating since 23, and most of my relationships I've run into issues with me being quite insecure which has gradually as I have gotten older and been in slightly more nurturing relationships than previously gotten a lot better. I'm at the stage now where I don't dislike myself generally with the exception of when I feel like I'm letting someone down or have done something wrong.
A good example of a situation I would like help with would be the following: I've upset someone over the phone by saying something and they've hung up on me. I panic and freak out and feel like if I don't "fix" the situation that that's it - the relationship is as good as over. I can't just think "I'll leave it be for a while and let him calm down" or just relax and wait and see what happens.. I've GOT to text and apologise, then when I get no response within 30 seconds or so feel like I need to call, get voicemail, panic some more and call again, text to say please call, call again before the person can even possibly have read the text and attempted to call me.
It isn't.. healthy, and I'm aware when I'm doing it that I should just stop and calm down and whatnot, but my mind gets stuck in panic mode and I can't do anything but think about it. If I attempt to watch something, play something, read something.. I'll end up just worrying and thinking. I've always had a massive issue with over thinking everything.
I dunno. I don't want to unintentionally sabotage a relationship by being like this when a situation comes up that is minor and will just blow over. I've considered going to my GP and asking for some sort of anti-anxiety medication to attempt to fix it, but I'm worried I'll come across like an idiot or get told I should go have therapy.. and I have nothing against that but then I'll feel like I'm even more.. wrong? or that my brain is even more messed up than I worry it already is.
Anyone got any sort of advice? Any.. books that may help with techniques to deal with situations like this? Is talking to my GP and seeing if I can get some medication likely to be of any help?
Thanks for reading this..
So hey. I'm a 27 year old gay guy and have been dating since 23, and most of my relationships I've run into issues with me being quite insecure which has gradually as I have gotten older and been in slightly more nurturing relationships than previously gotten a lot better. I'm at the stage now where I don't dislike myself generally with the exception of when I feel like I'm letting someone down or have done something wrong.
A good example of a situation I would like help with would be the following: I've upset someone over the phone by saying something and they've hung up on me. I panic and freak out and feel like if I don't "fix" the situation that that's it - the relationship is as good as over. I can't just think "I'll leave it be for a while and let him calm down" or just relax and wait and see what happens.. I've GOT to text and apologise, then when I get no response within 30 seconds or so feel like I need to call, get voicemail, panic some more and call again, text to say please call, call again before the person can even possibly have read the text and attempted to call me.
It isn't.. healthy, and I'm aware when I'm doing it that I should just stop and calm down and whatnot, but my mind gets stuck in panic mode and I can't do anything but think about it. If I attempt to watch something, play something, read something.. I'll end up just worrying and thinking. I've always had a massive issue with over thinking everything.
I dunno. I don't want to unintentionally sabotage a relationship by being like this when a situation comes up that is minor and will just blow over. I've considered going to my GP and asking for some sort of anti-anxiety medication to attempt to fix it, but I'm worried I'll come across like an idiot or get told I should go have therapy.. and I have nothing against that but then I'll feel like I'm even more.. wrong? or that my brain is even more messed up than I worry it already is.
Anyone got any sort of advice? Any.. books that may help with techniques to deal with situations like this? Is talking to my GP and seeing if I can get some medication likely to be of any help?
Thanks for reading this..