Day 3 (4th dose) of Klonopin kicking my behind into tranquilized submission

[JaneDoe :D]

Hi, I am new here and still learning the ropes of this whole anxiety mess since I only just realized I had a problem with anxiety and not actually on death's door everyday ;)

I am quite addlebrained right now due to the sedation so I will start from the beginning and am hoping I am not alone.

I am a 36 yo mom of three, divorced and poor, etc. etc. Stresses over the past couple of years have been causing me chest, leg, and arm pain and what I believed to be a heart problem, since I do have a history of heart disease. After following up with my cardiologist and pcp, nuclear stress tests, ekg, ultrasound, etc., it was determined that my ticker is okay (not perfect but totally functional), and that my arteries in my legs and neck are 40% blocked (prob due to smoking for over 10 years since I am physically fit and have perfect cholesterol). In any case, finding this all out about a year ago just threw me into constant pains. My chest hurt on both sides, my legs, my arms, heart palpitations, etc., and I started to have full blown, hands shaking, teeth chattering anxiety attacks. Now, since I am very familiar with panic disorder (my brother), I convinced myself it was psychological and used prayer, proper breathing, going out of the house, and time with my kids to control the anxiety attacks, which were happening maybe 2-4 times a month. I was actually managing quite well (even though I was still not enjoying life because I feared air molecules, at that point). Last weekend, I started an attack on Saturday morning and nearly had a nervous breakdown from the severity and duration (it never went away). Finally, on Monday morning, with my hands shaking and voice breaking from choking back tears (can't control emotions well anymore), I told my doctor that I needed help. He prescribed me Klonopin (I have the generic kind), .5 mg every 12 hours. I took my first dose at 12 noon on monday and I felt like I belonged in the land of the living again. I was slightly goofy and sedated but calm, awake, and for the first time in years, felt NO FEAR about anything...I was always paralyzed by fear of everything, but the worst was that I or one my loved ones would inexplicably die in our sleep.

Yesterday morning I took my second dose at 8:30 am and again, had a wonderful, calm day...if not a little sedated (which I hate). Last night at around 8:45, I took my second dose and went to bed at 11:30 happy (if not a bit sedated). This morning, I took my dose at 8:30 am again and holy zombie batman! I could barely walk straight and had an extreme urge to lie down and just sleep. I felt way, way, way too sedated. I slept for about 30 minutes and woke up on my own from a vivid dream. The dream part was nice because I haven't been able to remember if I even had dreams for the past 8 months--and I used to be an awesome dreamer--I actually used to look forward to them.

Anyway, after my longwinded rambling, I guess my question is this: Is it possible to feel super after the first couple of doses of an obviously much needed drug (I love it--no side effects other than manageable sedation),but then experience too much sedation on day 3? I posit that, becaause I was such a massive wreck of anxiety when I started, the first couple of doses brought me down to normal. Maybe, however, once I instantly felt better after 2 days, now i don't need so much anymore? I don't know what to do. I want to halve the pills and go down to .25 but I heard that one shouldn't be messing with dosage of this stuff without asking doctor. But I don't want to bother my doctor if this might be a common reaction.

The only pertinent information I can offer other than above, is that I traditionally get very little sleep at night. I usually wouldn't go to sleep until at least 1 am and alwasy have to get up at 6:15 for my kids. My youngest one has been really sick with flu, so I got even less sleep than normal all last week and weekend (I slept with her a lot becaude I was afraid she would die in her sleep...it's embarrassing how irrational I know I was). In any case, last night, I was out by 11:30 and slept like a log. Whenever I get more sleep than normal, I am usually groggier the next morning. This mornng I was very groggy...then topped it with my morning dose of klonopin (generic)...could this have been what makes me feel like a zombie today?

Finally, and I am sooo sorry for my longwindedness but I suck at brevity, I am able to type ths and go on the computer and talk to my dad on the phone, etc. So it's not an OD, right? I know it's not but I have to ask...If I didn't, I probably wouldn't be needing this med, right? ;)

Thanks so much in advance for input, advice, and patience with my rambling :)

[alankay]

Jane, klonopin with it's long half life it's just building up a little in your system maybe and your body is getting used to the med. This is a good med but if you feel drowsy,etc, drop the dose to .25mg(1/2 a .5mg tab) and go from there. I bet you are so relieved that there are effective meds for anxiety that in itself makes you less anxious. I'd drop to 1/2 the .5 mg tab and go from there. You may or may not go back to the full tab. If you really feel better you may go to an "as needed" regime with klonopin(or any other benzo) as many anxiety patients do.
You did need to get all calmed down to start to work on lowering and getting better control of you anxiety so this was a good thing. Your doc might consider adding an SSRI for a while or maybe not. PM me any time. Alankay.

[JaneDoe :D]

Hi Alan,

Thank you for the reply; I am in Florida, too. Guess I should fill out my profile a bit more, huh?
Shortly after I posted that first post, I woke up a little and was able to get moving--shower, Publix, etc. Still drowsier than tuesday, but better.
I just hate feeling so sedated. I prefer homeopathic remedies and talking myself out of ruts.

In any case, what you said does make sense. I did need to get calmed down. I was a bigger mess on Monday than I had ever been. I'd always managed mild anxiety issues because I knew what they were. Mind over matter is usually my mantra, and I usually stay calm through thick and thin. Additionally, because of my absolute detest for any and all medications (I won't even take a tylenol unless I am in unbearable pain), and because I already take baby aspirin every night, I willfully avoided talking to anyone or asking for any help at all over the years. On Monday, when I realized that I would be unable to hide the attacks from my children any further (we are super close and they can sense if I am upset), I ran to my doctor. I cried all day tuesday with relief and joy that I no longer felt afraid. However, this morning when I took that pill, a sudden fear hit me: What if I am stuck on this stuff forever? What if I am a zombie every day? I refuse to be addicted to anything. I kicked the cigarette habit last year (still addicted to the nicotine gum, though) and it nearly killed me. I felt like I lost my only friend (my family lives far away and it literally is just me and my three kids--I have no friends because I had become too reclusive and too tired to socialize. Live in boyfriend is so absolutely apathetic and withdrawn that this newfound calm and strength from klonopin is actually making me strong enough to consider what I'd been too afraid to consider before: living alone again). So when it occurred to me today that this might be just a new crutch, I freaked out a little. Sure enough, the chest pain came back for a few hours. Now I am reconsidering lowering the dosage. If I can scare myself into chest pain while on .5 mg, maybe I shouldn't lower the dosage just yet? I think I should maybe wait a few more days? I still am undecided about everything except to just take it one day at a time. Today I did okay. Not as good as yesterday, but okay. Im just a little sad and depressed that I just traded one crutch (cigs) for another. I feel like a total failure. Have you (or anyone else reading?) felt ashamed when starting a med like this? Is this normal?

PS: What is an SSRI?