Art_Nerd
09-28-2011, 11:40 PM
Nice to meet you all.
When I was about nine years old, I had anxiety that stuck with me for a while, but eventually went away for a good long time.
Now, I've been suffering from anxiety for about three years(I am going to be 21 in November). I did all I could at the start to make it go away, but I guess when some deaths happened in my life it made it harder to deal with, because then I also fell into depression and eventually had a new fear of death like I had never felt before.
Everyday I feel really disconnected. Like I don't feel anything, but yet I fear anyone in my life, or myself dying. Then I convince myself that I'm going to die sometime soon, and it's the most horrible feeling for me. I can never see the next day in my mind, and it's even harder to see further into the future. Then when something I felt wouldn't happen does happen, it doesn't feel real to me, and when it's over I wonder if it truly happened.
I fear sleeping alone, even though I've always slept alone. So I end up staying up till I just can't be awake anymore.
Sometimes I feel trapped in my body, and like I want to rip my skin off or something. And when this stuff happens I have no idea how to make it stop, so I wait, and I feel horrible for hours.
I tried to get myself more hobbies, more things to do, but it seems that no matter what I will always feel disconnected, I'll always have panic attacks, and I'll always feel like I will die soon and that I want to get out of my skin. I'm in college, doing what I love most(art), but I've also lost interest in it lately, along with all my other hobbies. I feel like I don't want to do anything. I feel no optimism at all. I have a girlfriend, there's a bit of distance between us (about four hours) so I only see her once every few months so far. I don't have any friends to spend time with.
I feel pretty helpless. I have tried to go for some help, but I share insurance with my parents, and I'd rather they not know that I'm getting help for this, because they think that I'm okay, and don't understand how bad this feeling can be. They don't take it seriously.
I wish I could just feel normal again...
and that's my introduction, I guess. I joined because I thought it would be nice to speak with people that feel similarly, learn from others experiences and advice, and do my best to help others as well.
When I was about nine years old, I had anxiety that stuck with me for a while, but eventually went away for a good long time.
Now, I've been suffering from anxiety for about three years(I am going to be 21 in November). I did all I could at the start to make it go away, but I guess when some deaths happened in my life it made it harder to deal with, because then I also fell into depression and eventually had a new fear of death like I had never felt before.
Everyday I feel really disconnected. Like I don't feel anything, but yet I fear anyone in my life, or myself dying. Then I convince myself that I'm going to die sometime soon, and it's the most horrible feeling for me. I can never see the next day in my mind, and it's even harder to see further into the future. Then when something I felt wouldn't happen does happen, it doesn't feel real to me, and when it's over I wonder if it truly happened.
I fear sleeping alone, even though I've always slept alone. So I end up staying up till I just can't be awake anymore.
Sometimes I feel trapped in my body, and like I want to rip my skin off or something. And when this stuff happens I have no idea how to make it stop, so I wait, and I feel horrible for hours.
I tried to get myself more hobbies, more things to do, but it seems that no matter what I will always feel disconnected, I'll always have panic attacks, and I'll always feel like I will die soon and that I want to get out of my skin. I'm in college, doing what I love most(art), but I've also lost interest in it lately, along with all my other hobbies. I feel like I don't want to do anything. I feel no optimism at all. I have a girlfriend, there's a bit of distance between us (about four hours) so I only see her once every few months so far. I don't have any friends to spend time with.
I feel pretty helpless. I have tried to go for some help, but I share insurance with my parents, and I'd rather they not know that I'm getting help for this, because they think that I'm okay, and don't understand how bad this feeling can be. They don't take it seriously.
I wish I could just feel normal again...
and that's my introduction, I guess. I joined because I thought it would be nice to speak with people that feel similarly, learn from others experiences and advice, and do my best to help others as well.