Please Help Me - Anxious about tragedy, accidents, my children

[Panicked]

Although most parents suffer a degree of anxiety surrounding there children, and makinf sure they are safe. My Anxiety is taking over.

I am 25, I have two daughters 1.5yrs & 2.9years. I lost 8 babies (before finally having my two children) due to miscarriage.

I have always suffered anxiety in a form of worrying, fear things will go bad and random panic attacks.

Now that I am a parent everything is affected me. If I read on the news about incidents and children, I avoid things at all costs to ensure this doesnt happen to my children - which is good, but it doesnt stop the fear. I dont just mean being concious of dangers such as roads, ponds etc. I mean in a situation like crossing the road, it will go through my mind a car losing control and plowing into us and the ending is always my children dying and me not. It absolutely terrifies me, and I cannot get rid of those thoughts.

I recently read of a child who died on a beach her family were visiting from a cruise ship, reading of failings of medical staff and children dying, deaths at nurserys etc....they are very very rare events, but I worry sick. I am always thinking the worst.

I have been on medication before, but it made my moods unpredictable and didnt really help, now im a mother I do not want to put them at such a risk. My fears are very much hidden deep within me, and my children do not suffer from it.

I do make concious decisions to take more risks, like letting them run ahead on walks in the forrest, and climbing in the park - but I feel im very much in control, in that im close by. I am trying to take these steps, and recently my daughter started nursery, after visiting the nursery 7 times unanounced to view how the children were looked after - and I feel secure now that she is in good hands. But I still think the worst could happen one day and I have no luck so I probably will.

Id really appreciate some tips on all of this, thanks so much for reading this far

[kellyzac]

Hi i totally understand i have 3 kids 6mths 4 and 7! Ithink of the worst thing that could happen in every situation! when you think of bad things happening try to not get scared by the bad thought (i no thats hard) and think of a good thing that could happen in that situation, so when walking down the road if the thought of a car losing control comes in just say to yourself "what is the likelyhood of that happening, no alot" then think im enjoying this walk and so are my beautifull daughters and smile. It wont work straight away but keep doing it and keep looking for positives in a situation. Hope this helps it did for me.

[Panicked]

thanks so much for your replies, I really appreciate you both taking the time to do so. Since I was last on, I have been trying so hard to cope.

My children are very well balanced and socialable, they both now go to nursery (much to my panic) and I force myself to control my thoughts and keep them just that...thoughts. I am very concious of how my behaviour could affect them, so I make sure that my anxiety does not pass off onto them. I cant however, stop those thoughts in my head????

I recently read on the news about a little girl in china, and its all I can think about. You hear it all the time about doctors failing, and causing deaths, people making mistakes and things just going wrong. I cant control any of these things and im petrified. My girls are all I have after my marriage broke down (due to miscarriage) they flourish in a world that i see that can be so evil and cruel.

Today I have hit rock bottom, I have not slept yet due to nightmares about the welfare of my children. They are so oblivious to what could go wrong, I wish i could feel like they do. What I didnt add to my first post is I have a physical disability, I went through a lot of hardship in hospital as a child. I was abused by my physio whilst admitted to the ward, and she broke my leg. I have had a councilor for the past 7 years, who I talk everything over with on a regular basis but it doesnt seem to 'cure' the thoughts.

Me and my children lead a very normal life, we are out often, we go places a lot, visit other kids/families and I love my life so much. I know the likely hood of anything going wrong is very small, But so is my condition, so is worsening of my condition, so is having an unexplained miscarriage after the 1st, 2nd,3rd,4th etc....time. It just seems that the 'small' chances of things going wrong, is what happens to me. So many people say I have no luck, because the worst always happens.

My sister is a psychiatric nurse, but due to past problems ive never felt close enough to her to ask for help. She deals with CBT, but I couldnt ask her for help.

I am just so anxious in my head, I cant bear hearing about children in the news. I end up, up all night, sobbing and fearful. I really am not sure what direction im going in, and im so sorry for such a long winded and messy rant. Thanks for reading x

[kellyzac]

Have you been back to the doctors there of lots of meds you can try it is about finding the one that suits you for me i have sertraline i dont have any side effects but everyone is different. For me i needed to take meds to calm me down to be able to deal with the roots of my anxiety with counselling and cbt therapy.