Losing Friends

[Schatmeisje]

Hi all, Just after a bit of advice or to see if the same thing has happened to anyone else. Prior to having GAD and a bit of agoraphobia, I had a lot of what i regarded "good Friends' then slowly they all went away once I couldnt go out anymore or help them with anything etc. Since this I have pretty much relied on my partner and my mum to help me get out of the house and they are my 'safe' people. The last person i had left that was someone i trusted was my massage therapist who i had been using for 5 years, spending $100 a week for 5 years, and i helped him build his business up from scratch so he didnt lose his home as he was struggling financially. He use to go out golfing with my partner, and always used to drop by our house if he was in the area for a cuppa. I had to miss some appoinments when i was going through a rough patch with the agoraphobia, but wrote him a message letting him know what was going on telling him i couldnt wait to get back and see him and his wife again, Then he deleted me from facebook :-( so i wrote him a message to ask why and he said 'i thought you were not happy with my service'....now i know this isnt true as i kept him well informed and still kept reccommending him to people. So i wrote back saying me and my partner were sorry as we must have misunderstood and assumed we were friends, not just clients and that i didnt realise that he only had people on facebook who payed him (which i know was the wrong thing to do)

The thing that upsets me is that one of my next goals to get more comfortable going out was to strat going back to his house, and now i feel like that opportunity has been taken away, and i dont really have anyone else i could try with :-(

I guess what i want to ask..is am i over-reacting in being upset about this?? and has anyone else found their friends disappearing because of their disorders?

[Nicolehoelle]

I would simply like to post some resource/referral info. from which I have benefited enormously. I was crippled by massive panic attacks for years and, for the past three months, have been doing CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) with Dr. Philip Pierce in Los Angeles. My work with him as well as supplemental reading he assigned from a book called "Don't Panic" have actually helped to alleviate panic significantly. For years I could not drive on the freeway and just this past week was able to drive on the freeway several times, for 10-15 minutes each time, with moderate to non-existent panic symptoms each time. I recommend CBT and specifically for So-Cal residents, Dr. Philip Pierce as well as the book "Don't Panic" wholeheartedly.

[Schatmeisje]

I am the same Kev, I didnt have a huge group of friends prior, but just some people i classed as good friends and people i trusted, generally dont bother with being friends just for the sake of it like some people tend to.
The problem is that i have had bad things happen during an attack, and the worst thing that happened wasnt me sitting down and camling myself, I ended up unconscious with an irregular heartbeat in a shopping centre and was carried away unconcious in an ambulance out of a shopping centre and kept in hospital for a few days, so thats why with the dizziness i get, i do like to start off with people and places i feel safe, and then try to expand from there. The sceond time I blacked out in my car and ran up a kerb and ended up in hospital again, so it is something i do have to be somewhat wary of while im recovering, but the mindfulness training has helped me a lot with that and i find the attacks are no where near as bad, and that i recpver pretty quickly from them now :-)
I guess it is more the fact that it isnt so easy just to find someone else (unless i just rock up at a strangers house! LOL) and that this person would be the person i would have called if Mr F was at work etc if i needed a hand or a lift somewhere.

[leighs]

I don't think you're over reacting. I think you should try to find someone else that you like. I know it might be tough butt it's better to move on without letting it cause you too much stress.
On another note...you can black out from anxiety? I always heard you couldn't and now I'm stressing about it.

[Schatmeisje]

Whoops, sorry Leighs :=( It has only happened to me twice, so dont be frightened, thats 2 times out of the hundreds and hundreds of panic attacks I have had, and those ones did happen BEFORE i knew what was wrong with me, so I am guessing it was my bodies way of telling me to slow down and take some notice of what was going on. After I knew what was going on and hwta was happening, i havent had one like that ever again, im assuming this is because i can now relax more and go with the panic, and know that it will pass and ill be okay.
I probably wouldnt have written that here if i thoguht it would make anyone else scared, so i really do apologise :-(
And thanks for your thoughts on the friend situation too, sometimes i dont know whether i am being reasonable or if im just acting silly and over reacting, so yes, i blocked him from facebook, found a new massage therapist and im going to move on.
Thanks again, and sorry for scaring you and hop you are well xx

[leighs]

Oh don't apologize! It's no big deal...I have GAD so everything stresses me out if I'll let it LOL. I'm glad to hear that it was before you knew what was going on though. That does make sense. Your body was probably telling you that you needed to change some things. I remember in my first few bouts with panic attacks that I would get really light headed and feared I would pass out. When I went to my Dr. with that fear she assured me the dizziness was from hyperventilating and that my body wouldn't allow me to pass out from a panic attack. I never have and hope I never will. I have also come a long way in my GAD since I started CBT a few months back. So again, no need to apologize but thank you for clearing that up for me :)

I'm glad you found a different massage therapist. Does the massage help you to relax and relieve any of your anxiety? I have thought about doing a massage because I've heard that can help, but any time I've had a massage I leave feeling bruised.

[Frank Furter]

Yes, I've lost many friends who thought I was just too "weird".