no friends :(

[nervousbutterflies]

i just turned 20 this year and have been suffering from bad anxiety since i turned 18. I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years and have not one single friend. He also does not talk to my family at all or attend and family parties with me. I love my boyfriend to death but we have major trust issues and i am not aloud to have friends or anything. I have nobody to talk to and when i want to go to the mall i have to beg my little sister to go with me which is pathetic. He goes down to the city everyday for school and i have the hardest time trusting him down there. We both cheated on each other in the past. I want to have friends and a life but i cannot with my boyfriend and i also cannot live without my boyfriend. I worry that he is going to be cheating on me and i will never even know and i am just sitting in my house by myself worrying. I do not think i could make friends because my anxiety and i am also scared to drink because i am on zoloft and the only thing people do these days are party!I also have a hard time driving far away without getting anxious.

sorry these thoughts are not organized!

is this normal? or contributing to anxiety

[leighs]

I can't really relate to the boyfriend thing. It sounds like a tough situation. Have you tried talking to him about your fears?
As far as the drinking thing goes, I really don't believe you have to have alcohol to have fun. All of my friends and my husband drink when we are having a party or go out somewhere, but I don't. They all know I don't drink and I still have a great time. The last few times I did drink ended in me having major anxiety attacks. Now knowing that alcohol can cause that, I choose not to put myself in that position any longer.
Have you tried talking to a therapist about your fears regarding your boyfriend and making friends?

[Robbed]

I love my boyfriend to death but we have major trust issues and i am not aloud to have friends or anything.

Not allowed to have friends?

Okay, I'm going to put it REALLY succinctly here: dump the guy, now! I know you say you love him. But face it, this guy is a control freak. If you continue to see him, things are just going to go to hell in a handbasket. Remember, it's not like he's the only guy in the universe. There are PLENTY of other guys out there - nice guys that will allow you to do something as vitally important to a human being as having friends.

[Taylor]

I also think you need to dump this person. Even though I don't know you, I can empathize with your anxiety enough to tell you that you DESERVE someone who will be more supportive of you. As Robbed said, there are plenty of others out there, and you will find them, absolutely.

[nervousbutterflies]

i have been talking to my therapist about my situation for a while and she said that i will not be able to control my anxiety while in this relationship and in order to be recovered one day i will have to break up with him. It just sucks soo bad because i have been with him for so long and just wish that we had a good relationship that i actually felt comfortable in. He will not talk to my family or even say hi to them when they say hi to him. He always gets mad at me saying i am soo selfish because i dont like giving him rides to the train all of the time and he says i am a bad person which i used to believe i was a very nice caring person. He also gets mad at me all the time when im on the phone with my mom and makes fun of me saying "oh you gotta call mommy". WHen he gets mad at me he growls at me and punches things and says that i am dumb and i am a waste to society and he always always always calls me crazy and makes me think i am crazy!!!! theres just sooo much problems in the relationship i just wish it could all be ok because i am scared to be alone and if we did break up i would be so depressed for a while and would have to learn how to live again and make friends and be alone :(((

[nervousbutterflies]

he is controlling but he made me into a controlling person now. he started it aobut 6 months into the relationship he made me call up my friends and tell them to never talk to me again and he would make sure i did it . He also didnt allow me to drink or anything

[nervousbutterflies]

thankyou forwells :) It is a very tough situation :(