I'm Chuck....Maybe this site will help me.

[Chuckles]

I'm Chuck and I suffer from anxiety, panic and depression. Fear consumes me most of the time. I'm hoping I can find some help here.

Chuck

[Amy1986]

Hey Chuck,

Whats caused your feelings? was there a significant time in your life or an event that may have caused it? Have you been to the doctors? We are all sufferers and hope we can help you.

Amy

[Chuckles]

The feelings come out of the blue. No real triggers I can find. One minute I'm fine and stepping out of the car to go inside to eat at a restaurant and BAM! I'm having an attack. I can be enjoying myself and having a good time and BAM! It starts. I'm devistated and helpless. I can't breath, I have to lie down, there isn't enough oxygen to keep me alive, my mind races with thoughts of death, I shake violently, I throw up. The doctor I'm seeing is more of a pill pusher now trying to keep me under control so I can function with work. I've taken as many as 10 1mg xanax a day until I go to sleep at night. I try and NOT take any during better days and I can feel the withdrawl coming on. So I take 1 to keep from feeling my tongue swell, throat close, jaw lock and that metalic taste in my mouth. I've only been on the meds for about 2 1/2 years now. Before I would just shut down during an attack and have to lie down quietly in tears until it passed. Sometimes it would be as short as an hour. Sometimes the attacks would last for 3-4 hours before I could 'function' again. After an intense attack I would feel drained and tired or exhausted. This has been going on for a loooooong time. It has cost me several jobs since I couldn't cope and keep it under control. Now I just eat the pills to try and control my life. Let's not go into the aggrevated depression that comes along. I'm frustrated and tired.

Chuck

[Chuckles]

Loooooong time = 15 years?

Chuck

[Amy1986]

Wow dude, i feel for you. i have been off meds for 2 years since my relationship started but recently been put back on them as life is hard to cope with sometimes. i know how you feel all too well though your 15 yrs put my 5 to shame. :) i will say the biggest help for me was CBT, it took a while to get into the therapy gig but i was pretty determained to kick it up the arse. my feelings came from control, my frist ever attack was on a train going to college, only on trains i experienced this but then it very quickly turned into every circumstance for which i have no control, public transport, appointments etc and then turned into social anxiety. i was a mess to the point of quitting college, my job and friends leaving me thinkin i was crazy. i didnt leave the house much when it got bad, had the constant fear of dying or even worse....hurting other ppl. i still have the fear of dying but not the other thing. i had to have someone in the house with me at all times to make sure i was okay during these attacks, it always starts with a burning in my head sensation. My breathing is totally uncontrollable and shake with hysteric sobbing.... which in public places is where social anxiety bloomed for me. i get them now daily, but faintly. though i convince myself i am dying ALOT and doctors roll there eyes at me. its all about CONTROL.

[ReneeA]

Hi Chuck!

I'm new to the forum myself, so I wanted to stop by & say hello! I'm really sorry to hear that you've been living with this for so long. I'm fortunate enough not to have attacks. My anxiety is more of a constant backdrop to my life. It effects almost everything I do, including work. I'm starting a new job in the next few weeks because I just couldn't manage to continue where I was. It makes me really sad, because I work in health care & I love what I do. I'm terrified that I won't be able to control my feelings & it'll end up costing me the opportunity to do what I love.

Anyway, enough about me...sorry. :(

From one newbie to another, I hope being part of this forum is a help!

[gcost]

hi chuck everything you have just said has happened to me losing jobs panic attacks ive had it since i was 15 im now 31 felling low and stupid all the time suicidal absolute nightmare ,but now i found the cure ;i first start going to a councllor to see if there was anything in my past couldent find anything only i was kinda bullied and had one or two other things going on ,,this caused me to qualify as self pitty victim mentallty i had this mentallity for a longtime anytime anything would go wrong ;why me all this crap never taking responsibillity for my actions which causes anxiety to get worse anxiety ;is victim mentallity everytime you feel anxious tell yerself your not a victim its your life your responsible and once you accept this youll recover i promise im off meds and feeling better SELF PITY VICTIM MENTALLITY IS ANXIETY ITS A MINDSET YOU CAN CHANGE IT ..................I PROMISE

[gcost]

Anxiety is a mindset

[mccallie]

i really believe there must be a cause for the attacks. try to keep track of what you are doing each time an attack happens or what you are thinking about. in order to treat the anxiety properly you need to know what is causing it. maybe you could talk with a counselor instead of an actual doctor to get some insight. you don't need to keep living like that. feel better!

[alankay]

Chuckles, have you been on an ssri? A benzo alone is not optimal. SSRi's will lessen the need for the benzo(xanax for you). I know you can get a bump up in anxiety when starting an ssri but over time they usually lessen your benzo use therby reducing/preventing tolerance and side effects as well as keeping you safer for driving, etc. PM me any time. Alankay

[orachahalion]

Hey there, you are not alone in here, thats one thing for sure.

I hope that you find the help and support to get well again.