quick question!

[richy1991]

hey guys

i started suffering from anxiety at the start of this year
this moment in time im feeling pretty good anxiety wise

but i was doing some thinking...
i have realised that my anxiety is brought back on by me thinking about it and also thinking about what i have been through over the last 7/8 months

i feel if i were to beable to remove all the memories of my anxiety from my brain, i would then be okay

i know i will never forget this but is there anything i could do to like say, push it down my thinking list?

cheers
richy

[jessed03]

All I can think of, is staying present. When you're present, TOTALLY, you are so aware of what is happening around you. All of your senses, are so involved in the stimulus of what is happening, the smells, the sights, the sounds, the feelings, it makes the past seem a million miles away.

I wish I could take credit for the idea, but it stems from Buddhism. A quick tip I was taught, was when in situations of panic, to simply observe it, observe how my mind is, observe the ways I am winding myself up without meaning to. Observe how my emotions are being changed by whats happening. Don't try to change it, or fight it, don't label it wrong, or right, happy, or sad, simply watch it. As if it is flowing through you, closing your eyes can help, sort of go into the back part of your mind, and just observe whatever is happening. On a cognitive note: Simply labeling a bad experience, as an experience will help a lot. When I relive bad times, which I inevitably do, I simply say, "yes, I experienced that" and "Yes, that is a memory from the past". I sort of refrain from labeling it good or bad, and when the inevitable questions come, will i solve it? will it come again? etc, I simply observe them to, without answering, and rising to the memory, and simply say "yes, those are questions caused by anxiety" . Again, another one that takes time, and if you do therapy, it's an aspect they will defiantly build on.

Secondly, as to memories, being present is something that will aid this, and its something that really comes through practice. Anxiety sufferers have such horrific memories of anxiety, we'd crumble if we kept reliving them. When people are better, and you observe them, they become so focused on what they are doing, it's like their mind has forgotten to look back, due to the need to keep focused on the evolving activities around them.

I think by far the best way I've experienced of practicing this, is simply through your breath. It can be practiced an unlimited time per day, as it is so short. For now, whenever you find yourself in a memory, good or bad, re-living an experience or find you're anticipating a future event, a conversation, a date, a deadline, the first thing to do, is just notice you've done it. It isn't wrong to do so, it's simply a signal that the mind has wandered a little too far. Close your eyes (if it helps) and breath slowly, and naturally. Listen carefully to what is outside, even the noise of someone shouting, a dog barking, the wind, everything, listen to it very intensly, just to observe it. Keep breathing these slow breaths, in... out.... feel the air inside of your nose, notice any smells there are around, of grass, or food, or anything. Just notice it. Feel your feet on the floor, feel how solid they feel, feel the floor or shoe underneath them... feel and experience everything together, the darkness, your breath, the sounds that come along, the smells, if it's hot or cold. Simply observe everything in total real time, as it's happening.

You don't need to do this at every sign of a relived memory, but as things get a little deeper, and you realise it's been quite a few seconds that you've been in that spacious world of thinking, start to just bring your attention solely back to your breath. Even numerous times a day, just remind yourself focus on your breath. I even wrote it on my hand daily, whilst I was still practicing to remind myself to stay present for longer periods of time :)

At first the mind wants to race around, you want to move, you don't want to sit still, your mind wanders off, just simply accept it, don't fight it, just refocus on the breath if your mind wanders off. You can do this for just a few minutes, and as many times a day as you notice you get deep into thought or memory. Your mind will slowly be retrained to focus on whats happening now. You're using the same trick anxiety uses on you, to bite it's a**, by constantly alerting your mind (in a calm way this time) to something that you've decided is important (the present moment) and the current stimulus, which will eventually after practice, push memories back into a darker corner of your mind, allowing the present moment, to occupy a large portion at the forefront.

It may feel like a simple technique, but it is one I still practice to this day. And only takes around a minute to refocus on some breaths, and/or some sounds, and bring myself back to the moment.

A book you may want to read is Eckhart Tolle - The Power Of Now, an ex depression and anxiety sufferer, who turned to spirituality. It is fairly new-agey, but does have some excellent tips on staying in the moment, and how to train your mind simply to do so.

"Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be"

I hope that's helped somewhat. It's promising that you feel it's past memories that are causing anxiety, and not a set of majorly anxious beliefs or attitudes that are completely fueling it. It means there's something that can be worked on, and once reframed in the mind, will hopefully stop giving your problems. :)

[Robbed]

Another thing to remember is the power of time. LOTS of self-help books fail to mention this. And, although certain religious teachings (both Eastern and Western) can be helpful, time is never mentioned. But here's the thing. After the passage of time, the poignancy of your memories of anxiety disorder will fade. You will probably never forget that you experienced anxiety disorder. And you will probably never forget that it was a horrible experience. However, this memory will lose MUCH of its emotional punch as time passes. And it will become more of just an intellectual memory. So try to focus less on your memories of the past - even if you can only do so a little. And let time do the rest. Just remember to be patient, as this is a process that will probably take months rather than days.

[jessed03]

Another thing to remember is the power of time. LOTS of self-help books fail to mention this. And, although certain religious teachings (both Eastern and Western) can be helpful, time is never mentioned. But here's the thing. After the passage of time, the poignancy of your memories of anxiety disorder will fade. You will probably never forget that you experienced anxiety disorder. And you will probably never forget that it was a horrible experience. However, this memory will lose MUCH of its emotional punch as time passes. And it will become more of just an intellectual memory. So try to focus less on your memories of the past - even if you can only do so a little. And let time do the rest. Just remember to be patient, as this is a process that will probably take months rather than days.

SO true. Glad you mentioned it, I meant to slip that in somewhere, but totally forgot :P. Time heals many wounds. As Robbed said, time will help ease the 'pain' of them significantly. It can be a double edged sword though, if you spend the time cowering from facing them, and avoiding situations that remind you of trauma, it will enforce a deeper habitual anxiety. If you can make peace that those experiences have happened, but a brighter future awaits as everyday you learn to deal with things better, you'll be just fine :)

[Schatmeisje]

Loved your replies Jessed :-)

[Caroliner]

That was helpful to me. Thank-you. x

[richy1991]

hey sorry i havnt replied in a while, iv been very busy

thank you jessed for your reply, i will try it next time, tbh i sometimes do buddisum meditation and it helps, so i can see that helping aswel

thank you robbed for your reply, but tbh all i ever hear is time, time, time. i understand the concept of time but how come you have some people that suffer from anxiety for like 10 years, this i dont understand

richy