fallingthin
08-08-2011, 10:56 AM
Ok, so my boyfriend recently asked what we were doing for out 1 year anniversary. I had this thought before he asked but I didn't ask him. If he forgot I wasn't going to push the issue. I think maybe this started with my mom. One of my birthdays I asked her several times what we were doing for my birthday,you know being an annoying little kid, and she didn't answer me. The last time I ever asked her that question(now she asks me what I want to do and I often say nothing) she responded with "do you think you deserve a birthday?" I said, "no."
After that I think I shut down. I felt she was asking me if I deserved to be alive.
Also, since my birthday was so close to my youngest sisters we often shared the day or delayed celebrating my birthday until my youngest sister turned age. Often every child would get a gift on my birthday. So you may be able to see why I don't really hold this day in high importance.
I associate the anniversary with my birthday so I kind of don't see the importance of it.
I want to feel the magic again. I haven't felt it since I was really young and those memories are kind of lost and fuzzy. What should i do? I'm still kind of hoping he will just forget about it.
After that I think I shut down. I felt she was asking me if I deserved to be alive.
Also, since my birthday was so close to my youngest sisters we often shared the day or delayed celebrating my birthday until my youngest sister turned age. Often every child would get a gift on my birthday. So you may be able to see why I don't really hold this day in high importance.
I associate the anniversary with my birthday so I kind of don't see the importance of it.
I want to feel the magic again. I haven't felt it since I was really young and those memories are kind of lost and fuzzy. What should i do? I'm still kind of hoping he will just forget about it.