Used to be confident and outgoing, but now I'm stuck.

[khronnic]

Okay so here's the story.

When I was in middle school/ the beginning of high school I was sooooo confident. I was outgoing. And everything was good.
Around Sophomore year of High School I got severe acne. Bit by bit I began to lose myself.
It all began with biting of my lips. I was nervous so I bit my lips
Then biting my lips turned into dry and gooey lips for no reason at all. This made my mouth all shaky in social situations because I was always biting them and it felt weird to laugh, smile, and talk.
Then I started getting dry eyes. I couldn't even look at the person i was talking to without squinting.
So now I was stuck with Dry eyes, Dry shaky mouth/lips, and terrible acne. I was a wreck.
I went on Accutane a severe acne medication, the acne went away but the Dry eyes, Dry/shaky mouth/lips symptoms only got worse
I began becomming completely socially awkward. I began to over-think situations and always get nervous when people look at me.
This has pretty much screwed me out of alot of friendships and people I could be friends with. I only have a few friends now...
I've been trying to go out to push my comfort zone but it's hard.
I got my first year of college comming up soon and I don't want to mess up my college experience.
I used to be so outgoing, funny, sociable.
Now I'm just a nervous wreck. It's like I can't even control it though. My LIPS get dry by THEMSELVES. My EYES get DRY BY THEMSELVES.
And then in return I feel like crap, and I know that I look like crap biting my lips squitning, and then I get nervous.
And I start to over-think social situations, and do stupid things, my heart beats, my face gets hot red, my hands get sweaty, and I look like a moron.

I just want my old life back. I just want to be how I was before all this crap started.

If anyways has ANY tips other then "go see a counseler or w/e", or "talk to your doctor" then I'd much appreciate them and God Bless you.
Ah and I've read a few things about working out to get rid of the anxiety, and I already work out and I'm still the same. It's like..thoughts get placed into my head, and the more I deny them the worse they get. Like I'm in my head saying there's no way that so and so could happen and that my brains just thinking irrationally. But the more I tell myself that everything is calm and cool, the more nervous I get.

I just want to be myself again.
Thanks.

[fwenchfye]

As for the dry lips and eyes, there's no reason you can't carry around some eye drops and chapstick, its common for many people to use these and no one will wonder why you use them, so you won't have much to worry about ( seeing that you will probably still have some irrational fear that people will figure something is wrong for using these objects frequently). Also something that helped me make baby steps towards becoming (slightly) more comfortable in socializing with people I was apt to see more often was to learn how to speak to strangers. This helps me because I know they have no previous references of me to compare to that one situation, and even if I do feel I was awkward, it helps knowing that the guy in line for Chinese food at the mall, or the mother and child on the elevator do not know me or anyone that would, and makes me feel less threatened than if I embarrassed myself infront of a student that will have to share the same class as me for months. And for the first few times you do try this, make sure the conversation is nothing intense, maybe a compliment about some accessory or article of clothing. It might sound silly, but I find that the practice helps me project the 'Me' that I want to be in anxious social situations.