frozen with anxiety and depression

[jean50]

My son is 25 and completely frozen with anxiety and depression. he was a graduate student but is not attending classes at the present. we have him going to private counseling and will be seeing a psychiatrist this friday. he fears medication as part of his GAD that he suffers from. it seems like he's in a viscious cycle and not able to help himself. How do you get help for someone that cannot help themselves. He was on Zoloft a year ago and we saw positive results but he hated the side effects. He is also going to a neurologist for muscle problems that he's suffered from most of his life (on and off) and he fears that the meds will make it permanently worse. We try to tell him that they are being made worse already by his anxiety. How do we get anything across to him while he's in this state??? :cry:

[MissBrownEyes]

patinece, love and guidance, tell him as much as you can that he is just like everyone else, he is going to be okay and he will pass this, God bless his heart, i know the feeling, I suffer terribly, I was a very very out going girl, graduated top of the class in 2000 loved life and feared nothing, now.. ha, im totally oppisite, i fear EVERYTHING meds being one, some ppl fear being addicted to meds and some fear ppl will think they are "crazy" anxiety is a horrible terrible feeling and if you have never experenced the horrible feeling its hard to know where one is coming from, i get dizzy, heart racing, numbness, dry mouth, and the fear of crawling out of my skin, i pace back and forth in the house yelling to everyone that im going to die, i scare the wits out of the ones i love, but they can take that fear and times it by 100 and they will know what im feeling, i have come along way and beleive I will conqure it, they say anxiety comes from something tragic in ones life although I dont know if this is true or not. I have had it all, once I graduated I was w/ someone i thought i would be w/ the rest of my life, well that ended rough, the cops ended up taking him away, my aunt died, i lost my job, my car and my house, then this past year my best friend died in a car accident, it seems when it rains it pours, but please, hang in there and just try the best you can, perhaps getting him on a site like this where he can talk to ppl w/ the same issues may help him some,

best of luck to you and god bless

[jean50]

i was so very thankful for your reply. my patience comes and goes and it is very hard to be consistent with him when you hurt for him so bad. He's a very special guy and very sensitive, too. I tell him this is the hardest thing he'll ever have to do and he'll be stronger than ever when he gets through it but I know he doesn't believe me. He won't get on the computer because he has tendinitis and muscle problems. He's going to a neurologist and we're hoping that will help him get answers as to what's anxiety and what's physical. Did you go on medication? We tell him he needs it temporarily to get started.
Thanks again and god bless you, too.

[MissBrownEyes]

My mother says the same. Must be a mom sort of thing.

Yes, I take meds, been on them for 5 years now. In the begining it was very differnt, It was very hard, they play "guniea pig" with you until they find the right meds that help you and you feel work the best.

Right now I am on Xanax and paxil, you see, some ppl would say paxil does not work, and some say it does, for me.. well, I still have my days but I can get through alot better with it. Life seems to challenge us all, once he knows he has anxiety and comes to accept it, perhaps his road to recovery will become much faster. Not everyone needs to be on meds for anxiety, just depends on the situation, the person etc..

Things will get better, there are a ton of great self help remidies out there as well. and as awalys I will keep the both of you in my prayers. ;)

[ls]

please remember that GAD and depression are a mental issue....
I am a happy person on the outside but I suffer so deep.
I also, will keep him in my prayers.
Do lots of research and never give up.
Medication does help. I take paxil and Ativan....both help..but I still suffer.
Love and time will help, I believe. Low stress seems to help.

[Konidias]

I'm currently 23 and I went through anxiety for several years and it took complete control of my life.

The key thing is that you need to encourage him to face his fears. You can't ever push him to do something that scares him. There's a huge difference. You want to be supportive of him without making him feel pressured.

My mom was a huge help once she knew what I was suffering from. She would always encourage me to face my anxiety head on but she never forced me.

Though at some point he's going to have to force himself to get better. It's the whole dilemma you're facing (how to help someone who doesn't help himself). Eventually he will realize what he's missing out on. But you might want to remind him what he's missing out on yourself so that he will start to get fed up with the anxiety.

I would get to a point where I was so frustrated with myself that I would cry and hate myself for how I reacted to anxiety. This might seem bad but it actually helped me a lot because it made me realize how silly my problem really was.

Another thing he needs to understand is that it can be cured. You can get better. I'm living proof of that.

My advice is to stay away from meds. They aren't needed. Meds are altering your way of thinking in an unnatural way. They are like a crutch and while they might provide short term benefits, they aren't really going to help in the long term. He's going to have to learn to face his anxiety and ride it out.