Please please please read. Need advice fast!

[dalygaga]

I have anxiety/panic disorder with agoraphobia (about 10 years now). One of my best friends has asked me to stand in her wedding, and I happily agreed. She lives in a different part of the country and my husband and I will be driving.

Her fiance emailed me yesterday and wants to fly me there next weekend as a pre-wedding surprise (some friends of hers are planning a girls night/weekend outing). He really wants me to be there and offered to pay for all expenses. So I feel like I can't say no, and really don't want to disappoint anyone. I also would really love to be there. But flying by myself is making me feel really stressed. I haven't flown alone since before all the anxiety issues. I am so confused, because as soon as I say 'yes' that's it, it's done. And I don't want to spend the next week and a half worrying myself into a tizzy.

Advice? Please tell me what you think you would do. Should I just 'suck it up' and go and try to have a good time?

[Swelshy]

Hi, the worst thing an anxiety and panic attack sufferer can do like ourselves is avoid the things which makes us anxious as we will never learn to overcome them. my advice would be to go and have a good time however befor hand a few herbal remedys works wonders. Have you ever heard of the tablets called Kalms. They have completly natural ingridients of which none are addictive and they help me alot. They will take the edge off of your anxiety and will also help to relive you of intrusive thoughts which would cause you to become anxious.

I hope this helps you

Regards, Steven

[Marlow]

Well, I must admit I know how you feel. My anxiety came back full fledged this month and has been quite debilitating. Going to work and being around friends has been a complete struggle.

I had one of my worst panic attacks just before my sisters graduation party. I thought I might need to go to the hospital or leave, just not be at the party which is really sad because I love both of my sisters. When the day came I was really anxious and felt like I might loose it, but once the party started I actually really began to enjoy myself and forget about those negative thoughts and feelings, of course when the weekend was done I began the cycle again I found that the most fearful part of the experience was the thought of it, the apprehension.

Again, I know how you feel and I know that I would be worried too, but just know that its your mind and that its just a fear of the unknown, but you will have fun, Its your best friend, be happy for her :).

Marlow

[dalygaga]

Thank you for your responses. It is encouraging to hear you tell me I should go, and to say all the things I know deep down to be true. It is still so scary and like you said, Marlow, it is the anticipation that is the worst part. I decided to try a new program today and one of the first things asked is to go and be alone and really think about what you are afraid of. I wrote this down and I thought I'd share. Maybe others will have similar perspectives, feelings, experiences? Please feel free to comment. Here is what I wrote.

I am afraid that I will get stuck in a situation and not be able to get out of it. That I will have no help. That people will not care enough to help me or know how, or that no one will be able to help me at all. That I will be all alone and just get sucked into space. Sucked into nothingness. Die? Go crazy? I'm not sure. That I will never recover. Never recover. Never be the same. Or maybe just die and not BE at all. At the very least, embarrass myself, or pass out. That the world will just start spinning. Spin and spin around me. Or I will just get lifted off into space. That nothing is 'holding' me here. There is nothing keeping me here. I am not grounded. I am not a part of things. Like maybe I don't belong or no one will care that I'm gone. That I'm so insignificant that I could just... "poof"... cease to be. That the world is unpredictable and maybe gravity will just stop working. Maybe I'll be the first person to die or go crazy from a panic attack. That I will be all alone. Alone, abandoned, isolated, and scared. Alone and scared and no one to help me. No one to comfort me. That I have only me to depend on. And what if I'm not good enough? What if I'm not enough? What if I fail? I don't want to be all I have. I don't want to be all alone with only myself.


So it is kind of sad reading that back. Because one, I feel like there is a lot going on in my head (even though I think I got to the root of it by the end). And because, two, I feel sad for myself. I feel empathy for myself. Which, actually, is probably a good place to start. It sure beats the shame that I have been feeling about this stuff.

[ImatypeA]

When I don't want to do something because of anxiety - like go to a party, or the dry cleaner, or fly somewhere - I force myself to think about all the times before when I was faced with a similar situation, and went to the activity anyway. 99% of the time, I actually enjoyed myself once it was over.

When I fly, I always tell the stewardesses that I am an anxious flyer. They are SO kind about it because they see it all the time.

Go for it! Take a photo of your frightened face before you go, and a picture of your happy face when you are enjoying yourself there. Then you will always have something to look at and pat yourself on the back for!