Feel my anxiety is coming back :(

[richy1991]

hey all i started suffering from anxiety at the start of this year
however the last 2 weeks i have felt perfectly fine, like 100% myself, which has been great
but today i feel it coming back

my anxiety all started when i spent a week with my girlfriend none stop, and on the night she had to go home, i felt like i was never going to see her again eventhough i knew i would be seeing her the next day, i ended up having an anxiety attack that night

but like i said for the last 2 weeks i have been great, but i feel it coming back
i hav just been on a short weekend away with my family and girlfriend and know i find myself in the same situation i did back then
she is going home tonight i feel the same as i did back then

can anyone help me please?
thanks
richy

[Krisann79]

Oh no! That's got to be a hassle to feel this way every time that you leave your girlfriend after a long weekend. Well I guess the easiest answer is marry her. Lol! But seriously the good news is it appears that she's not going anywhere. Why do you get so anxious when she leaves? There's got to be something behind that. Maybe a therapist can help you get to the bottom or this? Or even better have you told her how you feel and what's happening?

[richy1991]

hey, first of all thanks for replying, didnt think anyone would cus it seems so silly

xD, we hav only been to gether less than a year, so one day but not yet

i get to see her everyday so i know i will see her the next day but it just makes me anxious when she goes
have you ever been dating someone for a while but then you'v had to go on holiday for 2 weeks and you know you wont see them until you get back
and you get the deep sadness of loss, well thats how it feels
me being a sensitive person dosnt help
iv had 2 therapists before but got discharged from them as i got better
she knows about everything as she has been there from day one

i just dont know why this keeps happening
maybe i have a dependancy issue

[richy1991]

thanks for your input kev, its good to hear from you

could you advise me on my symptoms please

im really emotional and i keep crying
im fearing whats to come in the day like events such as showering, watching tv etc
and feeling anxious when i wake up

cheers
richy

[richy1991]

hey kev

its cool

i am sensitive anyways (wish i wasnt or could do something about it) but yes when my anxiety comes i get more sensitive and find myself crying for no reason or a the silly littlest if things.
my thinking is mainly, its coming back, but im working on that from your orevious advice
and alot of guilt thinking
im trying to just go along with it but it gets hard at times when no one around me understands what im dealing with
i know im getting better, just had 2 weeks of normality which was awesome and i cant wait for it to happen again, but its when my anxiety spikes like it has now, that it gets to me.

do you know what your crying about tho?
i know, its all down to time

erm i think im fearing whats to come in the day. fearing the future if you get me
i dont fear panic attacks because i know they cant hurt me, plus i hav lernt to stay calm in high anxiety moments
i dont fear feeling sad, i just dont like it and it frustrates me
tbh i havnt found out what i fear since this whole thing started cus its all been so random

ermm i think it stays the same or slightly increases in the day but settles right down in the late evenings

can you try and help me make sence of something please
this all started after me getting upset over leaving my gf for the night after spending a week with her
then the last 2 weeks that hav just gone, i have felt normal again, went for a long weekend away with my family and gf
when i got home my gf had to leave for the night again, thus starting my anxiety off again
surely this is where my problem lies, could my anxiety be caused by my sensitivity?

cheers
richy

[paulc30]

I have just read your thread and you very much remind me of myself last year and early this year. My anxiety seemed to trigger from being on my own (when my girlfriend is away) and once the anxiety triggered i am constanly worried about stupid things like going to work and generally in fear of having more anxiety. This turned into a real dissorder as i did not understand what was wrong with me as i previously had been completley confident and outgoing person until i had a panic attack on a plane once. I used to wake up everyone morning and have the thought have i got anxiety?

I want to tell you my story and in my opinion about anxiety and you moving on. I spent 3 months at the priory which helped me to understand anxiety and the fact that it really is just an illusion that we create in our own mind. The best solution is for us to accept our thoughts and not let them create further anxiety for you, understand that the only reason you are having these thoughts is because your body is tense and you are searching a nerevrending list of answers to cure your emotions. The problem is this just feeds on itself and ultimately leads you to feel more anxious. So next time you feel anxious and start having worrying thoughts just accept them, dont fight them they just make things worse. It might be uncomfortbale but it is the way forward. You are teaching your brain that it is ok to feel like this, accept the unconfortableness so what if you feel anxious it wont last forever. I still have the thought now and then have i got anxiety? but i just accept it, it still comes and goes but i do not take notice do not give it any respect. I recommend go towards your fears, if your anxious then spend a few nights on your own it wont be as bad as what you have made up in your head.


The reason you get anxiety when your girlfriend leaves you is because you associate that with being anxious. Try and keep yourself busy with something else when your girlfriend goes away.

Im sorry to go on but i know how you feel and i know that you can recover from these anxiety, its not the end of the world. I still get situations where i have anxiety but so what i get on with my day accept it and it never now lasts for that long, and if it does go into the trap of letting it take over my normal day. Invite the anxiety on it cant harm you at the end of the day.

Lastly, i just wanted to say this is the 1st time i have been on these forums for 8 months, before i used to spend my day reading about other peoples misfortune and how they have never recovered etc etc. The reason people go on these sites is beacuse they are anxious and are looking for a miracle cure. I would read about some guy that had anxiety for 25 years and it would send me into pure panic. Stay off these sites they do not help your anxiety, would you of gone on these sites before, no? I know its tempting but i guarantee you are better off taking a break from searching for the miracle cure.

Again im sorry to go on again, i just wanted to tell people my story and my opinion of the best way to overcome and live with anxiety (not cure we all have anxiety). Lastly (and i am not the aouthor of this book or anything i can assure you!). The only book that really helped me to improve and made so much sense to me was a book called At last a life by a guy called Paul David a previous sufferer. It just makes you realise that its not the end of the world and you just need to understand what is happening.

All the best Paul C

[richy1991]

thanks for the advice paul

i have been told over and over about just accepting thoughts and feeling, and pay them no attention
i know understand what i was doing wrong, i wasnt accepting them i was blocking and ignoring them, then they would all build up until i brake down
over the last couple of days i have been trying to accept them, its working but i still need more pratice

i know about forums and their disadvantages, thats why i try to stay off and only ever come on when im gettin bad again
i only come back to this forum, to talk to guys such as yourself and kev because they help give me hope and faith again

i will have a look for that book and see if i can get my hands on a copy

no no, your not going on, your very helpful, i hope one day i can get better and come back here and share my story to help others, like the way i am being helped

again thank you
richy