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Gladys
06-16-2011, 06:21 AM
It's been said that you teach best what you most need to learn.

Well, I answered a question on this forum by writing that someone should be honest. Then I got to thinking about what I'd written, and I realised that I wasn't being honest with my therapist about who I am.

I'd told her my anxiety symptoms, but the person who had them was a lot less vulnerable than I had explained. I told her about the person who everyone I know relates to, which is real. However, I didn't let on about the me who's so afraid and just as real.

In my last session, I told my therapist I'd lied but not willfully. She said I should try to present the real me to her when I saw her. I agreed.

One of my worries (and from what my therapist said is not uncommon) that I'll lose control, go into a mental hospital and be overmedicated, etc. I gave her the analogy of feeling I was standing on thin ice and if it cracked, I'd sink into the mental health system.
My point there is that if my vulnerable self is beneath this ice, I acknowledge that self and with help make that person stronger, I can't sink when the ice cracks!

So I have to turn to myself and say, yes, honesty's the only way forward.

Itz Omi
06-16-2011, 09:33 PM
Gladys, that's wonderful that you've had a little "breakthrough." It can only get better from here!

Gladys
06-17-2011, 06:26 AM
Thanks for your reply.

I think I'm doing what is necessary, and presenting a person that I feel is acceptable to other people, but that isn't the right way forward for any sort of treatment.

I realise that like all of us, I'm holding onto acceptability and the image I present can be acceptable, responsible and all of those things. However, I can't ignore the other facet of me for acceptability's sake. I tried to do that for too many years.

Itz Omi
06-17-2011, 10:32 AM
As they say here in the U.S., you just gotta let it "all hang out." LOL! (At least when it comes to your counselor!)

Gladys
06-17-2011, 06:38 PM
Dear Itz Omi,

I didn't laugh out loud. I have neighbours so I wouldn't sound acceptable.

You did make me smile though (which is acceptable because the cat's looking the other way).