Anxiety_joey86
10-21-2006, 06:10 PM
Hi, I am actually facing up to the fact that I have anxiety a lot and it bothers me so much I am now on here! Wow! cant actually believe I am typing this...o well!
Anyway, it started when I was like 15, I went on holiday to a Big Capital City with my family and totally freaked out all of a sudden! I was suddenly scared of getting ill everywhere, in all the tourist attractions and public situations, I was feeling so ill or so I thought maybe it was panic attacks?
Anyway I was freaked out and it happened on the motorway on the way home too. I was scared that I would be ill in the car on the motorway...the thought was 'I am in a car so I cant get out!'
This freaked me out!
Went back to school after the summer, started getting it in lessons, e.g. thinking:
'I am in a lesson and I cant just leave un-noticed. If I get ill or feel ill everyone will stare!'
So I started not going to school because it got so bad because I couldn't go in lessons or in the canteen or any social situation where I couldn't leave un-noticed if I feel ill.
Then I started to believe that every illness I saw on the news or read in the paper, I would get.
Pain in the head...Mum I have a brain tumor
Pain in the stomach...Mum appendisitus
I have a cold...Mum meningitus
It was really out of control. I spent everyday at home out of school, not leaving the house unless it was to go to a town with a hospital, because if I got ill I could go there.
Anyway a year went buy, I did loads of thearapy and treatments that didnt work, didn't go to school, and the next school year came buy. I realised it was make or break and that if I didnt go back now I would have no education.
I went on the first day to the first lesson, started feeling anxious, sat through it...and it went away!
Yay all was fine and I did two school years like a normal kid again!
But then when I was 17 I started smoking pot, maybe for about 5 weeks, no more than 3 times a week, until...
I had a major bad trip thought I was going to die and gave up.
But it seemed to release the anxiety again and I started to believe like it said in the papers and on the news that pot smokers get schizoprenia and go mad!
And now it just seems to be like whatever they say on the news is really bad and I think I am that person, be it a murderer, a rapist or anything! They say play computer games and you'll end up killing people. Then I think I play computer games am I going to end up killing people! They say the rates of people getting stabbed are soaring and then I think o look a knife am I gonna go mad and stab someone!
I just need to know does anyone else feel like this? And if so do they have any advice?
Anyway, it started when I was like 15, I went on holiday to a Big Capital City with my family and totally freaked out all of a sudden! I was suddenly scared of getting ill everywhere, in all the tourist attractions and public situations, I was feeling so ill or so I thought maybe it was panic attacks?
Anyway I was freaked out and it happened on the motorway on the way home too. I was scared that I would be ill in the car on the motorway...the thought was 'I am in a car so I cant get out!'
This freaked me out!
Went back to school after the summer, started getting it in lessons, e.g. thinking:
'I am in a lesson and I cant just leave un-noticed. If I get ill or feel ill everyone will stare!'
So I started not going to school because it got so bad because I couldn't go in lessons or in the canteen or any social situation where I couldn't leave un-noticed if I feel ill.
Then I started to believe that every illness I saw on the news or read in the paper, I would get.
Pain in the head...Mum I have a brain tumor
Pain in the stomach...Mum appendisitus
I have a cold...Mum meningitus
It was really out of control. I spent everyday at home out of school, not leaving the house unless it was to go to a town with a hospital, because if I got ill I could go there.
Anyway a year went buy, I did loads of thearapy and treatments that didnt work, didn't go to school, and the next school year came buy. I realised it was make or break and that if I didnt go back now I would have no education.
I went on the first day to the first lesson, started feeling anxious, sat through it...and it went away!
Yay all was fine and I did two school years like a normal kid again!
But then when I was 17 I started smoking pot, maybe for about 5 weeks, no more than 3 times a week, until...
I had a major bad trip thought I was going to die and gave up.
But it seemed to release the anxiety again and I started to believe like it said in the papers and on the news that pot smokers get schizoprenia and go mad!
And now it just seems to be like whatever they say on the news is really bad and I think I am that person, be it a murderer, a rapist or anything! They say play computer games and you'll end up killing people. Then I think I play computer games am I going to end up killing people! They say the rates of people getting stabbed are soaring and then I think o look a knife am I gonna go mad and stab someone!
I just need to know does anyone else feel like this? And if so do they have any advice?