need help/opinions please

[richy1991]

hey all

okay im coming to the end of my 4th month since i started to suffer from anxiety

i havnt taken any medication and iv been in the frame of mind of not trying to find out what caused all of this but i feel im not getting anywhere

i seem to be in a cycle, i have high anxiety for half a week until it calms down to a point where im 75% fine and can get on with every day , this will last for about a week or so and then my anxiety will increase again for another half week and so on

just before my anxiety comes back i always get a really sad/emotional feeling come over me and then anxiety follows

i was wondering, am i better trying medication?
and am i better trying to figure out what my body is trying to tell me?

also i feel my main problem is depression as i always get the sad/emotional feeling before my anxiety increases, could depression be my key to recovery? like i mean maybe if i work on clearing up my depression, will my anxiety clear aswel?

i was told if i cleared up my anxiety then my depression would clear aswel, however i disagree with this because every time my anxiety easies off, i get hit with depression until my anxiety comes back again

what am i to do? i just feel so confused
any info/advice/opinion will be much appreciated
thanks
richy

[richy1991]

i just think of turning to medication because this just wont seem to go away, but yeah i understand what you are saying so i will avoid taking medication

i really do try and just accept it but it really gets to me because i have nothing to be sad about yet i get this stupid emotional feeling, i want to be happy, i havnt smiled since this all began
im really positive about it all when im not feeling anxious or derpressed but its 100x harder to be positive when im actually feeling wierd

i really dont understand why im still suffering with this because i have no physical symptoms what so ever anymore
all i feel is like a pressure in my head and i feel like i just wanna freak out even though i know i wont
also i just cant stop thinking about it

i have been using distractions which hav been working amazingly but that in it self also has its disadvantages
i mean like iv been playing video games, painting models, going for walks etc and yes they are brillient but when i come to the end of an activity thats when i get a small sad feeling that im wasting my girlfriends time because i know she dosnt want to be doing these things, so i end up feeling bad. actually that is exactly what triggered me of this time, i was distracting my self playing a video games with my gf and when we finished playing i just felt so gulity making her play them for my benefit

i have had a think about all of this, not nessesery what caused it but what things i have in common
i relised iv lived with anxiety from as young as i remember
and everything that iv ever been anxious about have the same thing in common which i "leaving/loosing someone"

the first thing i can remember was from the age of about 4 years old till about 9 years old i hated leaving my mom to go to school, i always thought i was just being a titty baby but looking back on it i remember having the same panic/anxiety attack on the majority of mornings before school

the next think i can remember was from the age of about 7 till the age of about 9, i had a huge fear of death as in my death and loved ones, i didnt fear the dying part but i feared the after death where its just the end, i would have anxiety/panic attacks most nights and cry myself to sleep

then i have this time which was brought on by the leaving of my gf after a week of none stop time spent together, along with the abourtion and my brother being ill

all these things have an element of either leaving someone or a fear of losing some one, which is where i think my problem lies

cheers
richy

[gaara]

Did you explain these things to your therapist? How is that going for you?