Iis this anxiety?

[Osiris999]

I have been suffering from something I would call anxiety, but doesn't seem to match up with descriptions I have seen.

I have a persistent feeling of unease, centred around the chest, like the feeling of underlying worry. It varies from "lost your keys" level to "end of a major relationship" level. I occasional have very brief flashes of panic, only lasting about a second, before I can control it. *But mostly it's a background feeling, there most of the time.

It has a significant effect on my life, causing difficulty engaging with people, concentrating on anything, my ability to work and motivate.

I don't experience panic attacks, difficulty breathing, headaches or many of the other symptoms I've seen detailed.

The first experience of this feeling was during a difficult long term relationship. My partner was a cannabis addict, and also depressed, amongst other issues. *Most days there would be some problem, with which I would be powerless to help. This would trigger a sense of anxiety in me.

I've been single for over a year. After an initial down patch, I had a good summer, and then this anxious feeling returned.

I couldn't really say what I'm anxious about, which means I don't know how to deal with the *problem.

My only possible explanation would be it's my repressed concern at not having achieved much, due to the reasons detailed above, and paradoxically it's now a self fulfilling prophecy.

I do have some symptoms more associated with depression, such as low motivation and energy levels, and low self esteem (again, self fulfilling prophecy)

I've been trying SSRIs with my doctor, but I'm on my second drug as the first had no noticeable effect, and the second hasn't so far.

I'd like to know if anyone recognises my story, as I haven't been able to find any similar descriptions, so don't really know if there's anything wrong with me or if I'm just a bit inadequate.

Brendan

[jimmy2shoes]

Hey,
It just sounds like some anxiety and depression mixed together. The intensity of panic attacks dont seem evident in your post (which is a good thing), coz they are the most over whelmign part of anxiety.
SSRI's won't really fix anything if your issue is about your life and how you view it. SSRI's are there to alleviate symptoms (which that doesn't even work) and while negative thinking/irrational thoughts ARE a symptom of anxiety and depression, they won't change the self fulfilling prophecy that you have placed on yourself. So, logically regardless whether you take meds or not, you will still feel emotions regarding that problem.
I suggest seeing someone to talk to -a psychologist. You need to work through this stuff - talk about whats going on, and take an action/goal on working towards fulfilling what you want in life.
Thres nothing wrong with you, like theres nothing wrong the rest of us here. It's just a matter of working through the issues and resolving them (which doesn't happen overnight).
Self esteem is simply the case of negative reinforcement of an irrational belief. That being, im not this im not that - and your perception of an experience(s) that reinforces this notion or not. When the experience doesn't reinforce a negative self-esteem, we find us feeling better about ourselves. And the opposite applies.
However, when the self esteem issues become somewhat ingrained, the experience is no longer observed rationally, rather our perception becomes bias and finds an argument against how the experience still does not contradict the irrational foundation of self esteem. Hence, even when life experience prove otherwise from an objective standpoint, we still (frustratingly) sit in a depressive state with low self esteem.
Just see someone to talk to your all good and far from inadequate :)
cheers