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View Full Version : (Please help!Desperate here) MY STRUGGLE WITH ANXIETY (Long post)



lira
03-02-2011, 08:41 AM
Hi everyone,
I'm new to this forum.My name is Lira, age 25. Lately I feel so crippled with anxiety. I need help. Any help. I am so stressed. And all the stress in my life, they are adding up to my anxiety. How to begin with my story? I have no one to talk to. Yes, I do have a boyfriend but I haven't talk about everything with him yet. He knows that I have anxiety. And he's always trying his best to keep me calm.

My Anxiety Story (Sorry It's quite Long..please bare with me & help me analyze)
As far as I can remember, I have always been an adrenaline based,high achiever type of person. It's very hard for me to be laid back. I always have racing thoughts in my head. Since I was a child, I had trouble sleeping at night. I was nocturnal. I was doing well at school. One thing I know for sure, it's I always had a hard time to relax and calm down. I was always nervous, with lots of energy and racing thoughts.

One incident during my childhood marked the biggest fear of my life. I fainted at school and went into a coma for a week. There was a period when my heart stopped beating at the hospital and I was pronounced dead. But 10-15 minutes after that, I came back to life again and was in a coma. My brain scan, overal examination shows that everything is good normal & very healthy. It was a mysterious condition.

A week later I woke up and stayed in hospital for some weeks and then went back to school and did well in class. Elders in my family told my parents that it was black magic sent to my dad, but bounced and hit me because I was a child that time. I don't know about it. But I realize that the childhood unconscious incident, somehow lingered in my mind, causing me subliminal fears.

Fast forward to college years. I was in college and about to submit my exam papers. Suddenly I feel it, my first anxiety attack. It begin from the stomach. I felt butterflies in my stomach, and also lots of gas. I thought I was having stomach ulcer problems. So I just sat at the stairs for God knows how long..(30mins-1 hour) to calm myself down, until I can resume strength to stand up and submit my exam papers. That was my first anxiety attack experience, and me being just a college student, I just tried to shrug it off.

Looking back and remembering myself commuting with the bus and train, 2 hours per day from my city to campus, now I realize it was scary. But at that time, I didn't feel paranoid about that. I just treat it as normal routine. My mom raised me with iron hands and forbid us to show any weakness. I remember mom fainting at home because of exhaustion but don't want to discuss about it. Later in life I learned that my mom has mental problems as well. She always behave bad towards any weakness and sickness and forbids me and my brother to be sick, or even talk about our sickness & weakness. She doesn't want to talk about sickness, like it's a big shame.

Later in life, I learned that being sick is normal. Feeling tired is human.Many adults I meet, they take responsible rests and they stop working when they feel tired. But I learned it too late. My mom always got angry when I asked her why she fainted or appear worry about her. She always argue that she is a strong person and that weakness is not tolerated in this house. I grew up to IGNORE my own body needs. IGNORE my own sickness and IGNORE myself when I feel tired, just like my mom. She always assume that she is very strong and has super human strength. Later in life, I realize that this is not normal.

Looking back, I realize I have pushed myself beyond my physical limits so many times. I worked 2 jobs and went to college. I often faint because of exhaustion and just shrug it off and continue back to work. I didn't know that I was putting myself in danger with not caring about myself. I didn't care not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't know how to. I remember one evening I fainted after doing some work and friends help me wake up again, give me a warm drink and 10 minutes later I get back to work again instead of going home to rest.

I literally pushed myself beyond the limit. I refuse to admit that I am tired and I was always on call, at work. I never said no. I never took day offs. That was my life 5 years ago when I was juggling work and college and studies at uni.

My working Life (anxiety attack)
I was always a high achiever at work and a workaholic. I was always the last one to go home. I also work and played hard. I have an active social life. After office, I would hit the bars with friends and sleep late and wake up early the next morning. And it was my life style. Anxiety was not much, I remember one afternoon I got anxiety that was trigerred by an office conflict. I went to a doctor and took 2 days off. I took meds (diazepam) and other tranquilizers, and feel so much better.

I used to be obese and workaholic. Then, I took Reductil diet pills (sibutramine) for 2 years non stop and lost tons of weight (around 90lbs) and kept it off, albeit yo-yo ing 10-20lbs in maintainance. Could the sibutramine cause side effects in my heart, creating this anxiety?

lira
03-02-2011, 08:42 AM
My PTSD Triggered Anxiety
The peak of my anxiety happened 3 years ago, when I was engaged to a guy..(let's call him D). I left my bf to be with D and get engaged with him. My relationship with D was quite fast and like a passionate whirlwind. I even made impulsive decisions and quit my job, left my career (I was a workaholic!) to be with D and prepare our wedding, to move with him overseas.

Later I realize that D and I didn't match. Many things he told me are not the truth. So I break up with him. He can't accept the fact that we're not together anymore. D went crazy and tried to kidnap me and whisk me away to a romantic island, with hopes that it will rekindle our romance. Little did he know, that instead of making me excited, I was getting full blown hysteric and scared and he almost crashed the car. It was the most traumatic moment in my life. I didn't know how long I was screaming hysteric when he tried to kidnap me on a road trip. Then persuade him to drive me back home, because I didn't bring any ID with me. It was so scary. I still get the scares whenever I think about that incident.

D left my life and he never contact me anymore. I also never contact him at all. But the scars are still there. 1 month after the incident, I was having coffee with my (current) BF and suddenly it hit me. My first anxiety attack after D incident. From the coffee shop attack, they became frequent. I have noted that they appear not long after I eat, and after enjoying food, eating until full. My current BF (Let's call him A) was very sad when witnessing my first attack. But, he was very calm and tried his best to help me calm down as well. And he is always calm and supportive with me. I am so grateful to have him in my life.

Now I avoid eating until I feel full because I know it can trigger anxiety attack. I was put on xanax before but tapering off was hell and now I only use multi vitamins, B complex and calming herbals. I live in a 3rd world country and currenlty I am jobless, I can't afford a psychiatrist. I have debt and issues with estranged family members that add up the stress.

Sometimes I feel so helpless and so empty I don't know what to do. I sleep most of the time. I lost weight 26 lbs in 4 months. I avoid eating until I get full (to avoid anxiety). I am happy with my physical condition (my looks) because now I am slim and slender and clothes fit very well. 5 years ago I was obese and workaholic (90 lbs overweight) and never wear any stylish clothes. Now I am 120 lbs, height 5 ft 7 and constantly feel cold. I wear layered clothes everywhere to keep warm. Friends compliment that I look great and I can see it in the mirror, but my anxiety is getting more frequent that I avoid going out.

I live with so much stress and fear and I really want to sort it all out and live a normal life. I can't even make myself go out to do groceries nearby my house. It was a struggle. What am I supposed to do? I don't want to live in fear and anxiety. My BF (A) is very supportive but sometimes he thinks that I am being ridiculous. Sometimes I feel that my tooth is itchy and it's bothering me. Am I starting to become insane? Can someone..please help and analyze my story to see what is wrong with me?

I realize that I am spiralling down and I want to do something about it. I am young and attractive and supposed to be going out and about but I can't barely make myself to leave my room, because I'm agoraphobic. My room is my safest haven. I decorate it nicely and I feel most safe in my room. How am I able to join the work force again with this condition? I never use public transport anymore, the thought if taking a crowded bus or train is frightening to me.

Sometimes when I am alone I remember the days during my college years when I fainted many times because of pushing myself to the limit and I get so scared and anxiety begin to happen. I guess, I have been overcompensating for the lack of self care I did years ago in college while juggling two jobs to make ends meet. And now, as I grow more mature I realize that I have to take care of myself better and get proper rest, and I over compensate (unconsciusly?) to the point of anxiety. This is what I conclude so far after doing extensive instrospection and self analysis.

As I am typing this post, my friend is angry with me for not showing up to the coffee shop to meet me. I told him about my anxiety and I was having it quite bad just now. I tried to calm myself down, listen to some happy songs and type this post. It's like self therapy and I feel better now.

I want to heal completely and be a normal person again. I don't to be crippled by this fear. Anyone out there, please help me. Sometimes I feel like being in such a dead end. I'm sorry the post is very long. But I feel that I have to explain it more comprehensively to get a better picture of my situation. I need friends that can chat/IM with me, share methods and just listen and help me become normal again. I want to be like my other normal friends, who can run errands freely, drive and take public transport, work hard and play hard as usual. I believe I can get better again.

Sorry it's long. Thanks for reading. Looking forward to get replies. I need a friend, I need help. I want to function again. Please anyone help me. Please help me analyze. Am I losing my mind?

Hugs,
Lira