i've never experienced anything like this - really scary

[gaara]

De-realization/Depersonalization.

I don't know what to do about this. It's taking over my life and really starting to freak me out.

It has to do with memory/emotions. Whenever we remember something, we remember the emotion/feeling associated with it. For some reason, I just can't. Nothing feels the same as it used to and this is really really starting to bother me raise my anxiety.

As some of you may remember, I went through anxiety phase a few months ago (sep-nov) but I got out of it. At times I'd feel extremely anxious all day but things still felt real to me and what honestly helped me through it was my past. I remembered the good times I had and I convinced myself that these times weren't lost and that I can regain them. It worked. After a few months, each day/week got better and better. Even at my worst moments I still FELT real, my environment still felt REAL I still felt familiar with people and my environment.

Now I feel unfamiliar with my own family and my own house..what the hell?? Am I going insane?

I'm constantly analyzing what I do and my thoughts. Does this feel the same? Am I acting the way I acted before all this? This doesn't feel comfortable? What's going on with me?

ALL THE TIME. It's making me super anxious and depressed. I don't remember the feeling of being happy. I can't remember the feeling of being grounded and nothing analyzing everything.

What has happened to me? It's been going on for 2 months now. I can't think straight and have a hard time focusing because all I think about is how I feel.

HOW did this happen? I NEVER EVER used to be like this, not even at my worst anxious moments I had before.

[clay]

I can't help you a whole lot but your post has cleared up for me what Derealization and Depersonalization are. I was unclear as to what those terms meant before.
I have had that feeling various times in the past but never for days on end. I most often get that feeling if I am sick. I feel like I'm not really there, that I'm sort of on the outside looking on, watching everything on a screen instead of being IN it. I also get the feeling sometimes when I'm in social situations. I have some social anxieties so it makes sense. I can be standing infront of a person in the middle of a conversation then in my head I sort of disassociate myself from the situation... and I often question if I really even know the person I'm with. it's weird. but as I said, I don't have this feeling for days on end ever so I'm sorry I can't really be of any help.

[gaara]

I just feel really depressed now. I have no interest in anything and it's worrying me. I never used to be like this. I feel like there's just no hope of getting better I don't understand how this happened so suddenly. 2 months ago i was doing great then gradually it got worse and worse :(

Do holding in emotions for a long period of time cause anxiety and depression? I just honestly want a ray of hope that I can build on. But literally nothing stimulates me, I just feel flat and low those are my only 2 emotions. I'm constantly thinking about my condition ugh this is terrible :(

[gaara]

gaara

Do you take any drugs ?? It sounds like you are low in dopamine

cheers kev

The only "drugs" i've done is smoke weed. And it's 2-3 times a month if that.

I don't know if the depression is caused by my anxiety or the other way around. It sucks because I KNOW deep, very deep down inside i'm still the same person as how I always was but it's just masked so hard by this depression/anxiety that I find it hard to even remember how I used to be.

I've never really had this, like normally people would remember a feeling associated with a memory and that helps them get through tough times but now it's like there's just nothing there..at all. It's hard to even get like turned on by my girlfriend or girls for that matter...WHAT is going on with me?

I mean everytime I do things that used to make me happy I don't get the same feeling and it feels like that time has passed..like "been there done that"..but what? How did that even happen?

Sorry for rambling, just want to get everything out. Is there any way for doctors to measure dopamine/seratonin levels or something? I really don't want to take pills if I don't have to and I don't want to deal with the side effects.

[gaara]

The depression is from the anxiety

Go to your health shop and get some powdered Tyrosine . This will help build your dopamine . Also change your diet so you are getting protein in every meal . It well take a little while but you should notice the difference in a week or so .

and if your still doing the weed stop it .

And no doctors cant tests for it but just what you describes tells me you are low in the feel good hormone dopamine

Thanks for the advice! Is there any other natural pill I can take at the health food store? I take multivitamins/vitamin B complex which helped in the past but this is different.

I don't know if there's actually something wrong with me or i'm just over reacting because to me it doesn't seem normal to not be excited about ANYTHING that used to make me happy..not even women? That's the scariest part that's never happened before.

Sometimes it's just the fact that I think about my "condition" 24/7 that really gets me down. Like I constantly find myself remniscing about how I never used to think so much, now I jsut over analyze everything to the point where it has no meaning..wtf where did that even come from and now i'm thinking "how can i even change that mental thought process when it's all i've done for the past 2 months".

Really discouraging.

[cazg27]

I am in exactly the same position. I just wish i could stop thinking and just do! I remember back to how i was before and just dont understand how i was just was me, doing normal things without constantly thinking. How was i so carefree and, dare i say it, normal!

[gaara]

Fish oil is good as the brain needs it . Magnesium is another good one . Vit c also

Sometimes it's just the fact that I think about my "condition" 24/7 that really gets me down. Like I constantly find myself remniscing about how I never used to think so much, now I jsut over analyze everything to the point where it has no meaning..wtf where did that even come from and now i'm thinking "how can i even change that mental thought process when it's all i've done for the past 2 months"

This is normal and i think even today i still think about anxiety a lot of the day but i dont dwell and i dont dont very often focus on the past . At odd times when i start to think about it and how i got here thanks to the doctors that were meant to help i start to get the poos . So i go and do something so my mind is off of it .
You need to learn two things . First is you need to learn to distract yourself . Your brain cannot think about this shit if it is focus on something else . I would go in the garden and brake soil up just so i was doing something . Try get Dr Weekes book hope and help for you nerves she explains this well .

The second on is you need to learn to mediate and this teaches the mind to do nothing . Its not hard and sucks at the start but again if you do it daily within weeks you will notice a difference .

Another thing is stop worrying about were it came from just focus on the outcome and getting better which you will .

cheers kev

It's funny because, I KNOW you're right, and it worked in the past perfectly, but now it just doesnt. I can easily distract myself but I still don't get a "relaxed" feeling, I still don't get a good feeling like I used to about certain things. I'm always thinking "am i happy doing this?" "does this feel the same" and I just can't control it lol. It still doesn't solve the problem of me not being able to be happy about anything either.

It's just such a crappy scenario. It feels like a lose-lose situation.

[gaara]

It still doesn't solve the problem of me not being able to be happy about anything either.

Trust me i was so much like this .Nothing i did mad me happy . Everything was just blurrr . I can remember a time when i could not even smile let alone laugh .

If you do what i said and take that tyrosine you will see a difference .

Google tyrosine and have a read about it , google it with anxiety and depression . Tyrosine is the chemical relased when we feel good , it is behind addictions and the reason we are often addicted .

The amino acids tyrosine and phenylalanine are the raw materials for the brain’s production of dopamine. Phenylalanine is an essential amino acid that can be converted in the body to tyrosine, which in turn is used to synthesize two important neurotransmitters: dopamine and nor-epinephrine. Tyrosine is a “non-essential” amino acid, which means the body can manufacture it from other dietary amino acids. Tyrosine is helpful in suppressing the appetite and reducing body fat and vital for the proper functioning of the thyroid gland.*Tyrosine may assist in addictive states, mental fatigue and depression.

cheers kev

I'll definitely give it a try. How long usually until it takes effect? How many pills per day?

Thanks again!