im new to anxiety, please help :(

[richy1991]

hey all
im richard and im 19
for the last 2 weeks i have been waking up every morning with this horrible feeling
it feels like im scared of getting up out of bed, once im up im okay until im about to get in the shower then this feeling comes on again, it will go once iv got in the shower.
in my days then, certain things will set it off.

when i first started to feel like this, the feeling would come when i would be playing video games, i would then find it hard to concentrate, i'd have no interest in them and then id freak out. this has got better and i am able to play them again

i have also lost all interest in dance, which i hav done for 5 years, i will get this feeling before i go, it will get worse when im there and then ill just freak out

i also struggle at work because this feeling will come on then, but its work so i have to push myself

in the evenings this feeling will come on strong and ill just freak out over nothing but once iv calmed down im fine for the rest of the evening, all the way till i go bed. i dont have trouble getting to sleep but soon as i get up the feeling is back.

what is this feeling, is it anxiety, depression or a fear?
can you guys just give me any advice please
thanks
richard

[jimmy2shoes]

Hey richie,
Often anxiety hides itself for years and years until we grow up a little bit. 19 is around the age that my anxiety hit the fan (the drugs i was recreationally taking certainly didn't help), and my older brother went through anxiety at around 21-22 which wern't drug related. So I think some of us have a predisposition (not necessarily bioligically) but in terms of our upbringing, to anxiety. And it sounds like what you are going through IS anxiety - the waking up feeling i can relate to, because I have been getting it for a long long time. My anxiety was always at it's worst in the morning, and settles throughout the day.
Theres not much advice we can give you here because you havn't provided a lot of detail. However it is safe to confirm you are experiencing anxiety, and it's time to get some help - because anxiety is almost ALWAYS caused by something, whether it's our past, or ingrained negative thinking patterns.
I know seeing a psychologist at such a young age can be overwhelming, however some times we need to talk about our problems, and in turn we find some relief from the anxiety.
Because these symptoms are new to you, they will be a lot more scary than they should be. The start of anxiety is always the worst, because it is so foreign, and so unexplainable. However you should find some comfort in the fact that most of us, if not all - have been there and are doing much better now, as we have learnt to understand these symptoms and better manage them.
Hope this helps

[richy1991]

Thank you jimmy, that has helped me feel a bit better
erm you said i havnt provided alot of detail, i can provide this, i just need to no what detail i need to give
if you could tell me what information i need to give so that you and others can get a better understanding of my anxiety then that would be great
thanks
richard

[Spanky]

Hey Richard. You've came to the right place to discuss your anxiety. What Jimmy basically wants to know is what type of symptoms do you feel?

[richy1991]

first of all thank you guys

jimmy2shoes/spanky
the physical sympoms im getting are:
-blurred vision
-lack of appetite
-lack of interest in things
-lack of libido
-increased heart rate
-stomache pains
-headaches/feels like im wearing a really tight sweat band around my head
-difficulty breathing
-irritability

psychological/emotional symptoms
-tearful/crying for no reason
-sorrow/sadness
-fearful
-overwhelmed
-frustrated
-panicy/worked up

i would like to add that i have no reason that i no of to be feeling like this, i just woke up one evening feeling really sad and it led on from there
this all started at the begining of this year, it felt very severe as i was having panic attacks nearly everyday. this lasted about 2 weeks then one morning it just went.
i had a good 2 weeks feeling perfectly fine then yet again one evening i woke up and had the same sad feeling which led me back to all this.
its alot easier this time around but still freaks me out now and then e.g when i went to dance.

forwells
apart from in the mornings and early evenings i generally feel okay to a point where i will have no symptom but soon as i feel any symptom coming on, whether it being
blurred vision to loss of appetite, i freak out over it and my anxiety increases
as for fears, the only ones i no i have conciously are the fear of not being "normal" again, the fear of going insane and the fear of that sad feeling coming back at any moment (no contol over it)
how can i understand it when i have no concious reason for all this, it just randomally came on one evening

i will have a look into Tyrosine because iv looked into lexapro and all the symptoms i have now are side effects of lexapro
is Tyrosine a prescribed drug and where can i get it from?
erm i have trouble eating so yeah my diet probably isnt the best, is the a recommended diet to follow

as for the feeling, i just feel my mind wont stop thinkingm usually about nothing or about what is wrong with me
it feels like something is laying on my shoulder and and high pressure in my head
that the best way i can describe it because its soo hard for me to explain because one moment i think its anxiety the next i think its depression and then the next i think its a panic feeling

thanks
richy

[richy1991]

thank you for the information kev

i havn't had any tests done, iv been to see my gp 3 times now. the first two times i went he said its just mental brain activity and that its always changing, pretty much just re-ensuring me that everything will be okay, but nothing really useful. on the second time i saw him he also put me on a list to see someone but im still waiting for a reply. when i went to see him yesterday all he did was tell me im still on the list and prescribe me the lexapro

all thats really been affective so far is the self help iv been doing, but that isnt seeming to cure me but just calm me down and make me better until the anxiety stricks again.
but i am gonna change my diet and see how that helps, i will try veggie drinks and ill take the oil supps, but im not the best eater as i get food stuck ridiculously easier so would i be okay in taking protein shakes instead?

i understand what you mean and iv been trying the whole ill be fine, it will just pass thing but its soo hard when my mind wont stop thinking about what im going through/whats up with me, also the random sad feeling that just come on dont help as they start me off again

okay i will look up a diabetic diet and follow it. im a chocoholic so i guess i can cut that down on that but i dont drink alcohol, or coffee anyways. i also dont smoke or do drugs and i was very active before all this started so im fine fitness wise, although im gonna start running 5 days a week for my exercise as iv been told exercise helps. i will try going dance tomorrow and see how it goes, if it goes badly again i will consider taking tyrosine as i dnt wanna start taking the lexapro at all

i will have a problem with the video games part because thats all i have to disract me when im on my own and i find they help me relax and concentrate. the only games i play are online levelers such as runescape and dc universe so nothing stressful, but if video games are such a problem then i will be willing to give them up for now. i dont read books plus i find it hard to read ever since all this came on. yeah i googled alot of symptoms at the start but i dont do it anymore as it dosnt help. finally i cant watch horrors anyways

i have alot more information to give but its hard in a convo like this, also i have a few ideas that i think maybe causing this or i am worried that they maybe causing this.
have you got any form of instant messenger i could talk to you on please
thanks
richy

[hesson81]

Hey Richard. Someone in the post (can't remember who I got side tracked trying to find my loggin in Pass) made a real good point. Anxiety is always caused by something. It always is. In my opinion it could just be simple day to day events happening (work, driving, ect....) that cause the anxiety, then for us the anxiety becomes the promlem. Over time while you learn how to cope and train your brain how to distract yourself from what you feel/think it all gets better and it becomes a normal stress mechanism (like it is for everyone on this earth)..

Though, I'm curious, Your 20 years old, and at that age there can be a lot of normal life challenges that happen. In your post you said you have been dealing with it for atleast 2 weeks. My question to you is, what change in your life has happened over the last few months. Something that may have caused some discontention with you. You don't have to respond, rather the question is designed to bring you aware.

I Have never taken medication, not even an anti anxiety pill. I have been to a psychiatrist a few times. In my quest conquer anxiety. After a while I started asking the questions. One question that I asked him that just kind of popped into my head at the time was "Is it normal for someone that's dealing with this to detach whats really bothering them, and then just turn it into anxiety?" He said yes. So yea the Sucky part is lots of days I don't know what's bothering me (causing the anxiety) and the anxiety becomes the thing I dwell on. I have learned to step back, and analyze my surroundings, people, what I'm doing ect... 9 times out of 10 I can find things that should bother me, as they would bother anyone. Over time, I'm starting to attatch my anxiety to the things that are bothering me. In other words I feel Like I'm turing into a normal person. I still hate the anxiety, but I know autimatically what's bothering me.

Okay I don't want to get side tracked off of the point. There has been a significant change for you recently, what are the significant changes that have heppened in your life recently. Those will be the things you will face and battle with. Again you don't actually have to post, you just gotta face. If you want me to take some wild guesses I will... ;)

[richy1991]

hey hesson, i have had a think about what you have said and iv tried to think of some reasons, i have a couple of ideas but im not too sure of them
can you tell me your guesses/ideas and i can see if they are similar.
thanks
richy

[richy1991]

hey kev

i only concentrate so much on finding the cause because i feel if i found the cause then i could deal with all this a hell of alot easier, but i understand what you mean and i have been doing what you have told me.

today i have been alot better because im not fearing it all as much
i woke up with a hint of anxiety (think this was due to the thought of going dance) but i went dance anyways and i was fine anxiety wise but yet again i just didnt have one bit of enjoyment and it just stressed me out. so i came home and relaxed/chilled out by playing my game. when i felt better i went out valentines day shopping and came home to meet my girlfriend to spend the night in

so yeah im feeling like im coping better now
the only symptoms im getting now are:
-the headaches and stomache aches which dont really bother me
-the lack of interst in things which i understand is just another symptom so it dosnt really bother me either
-the cant be bothered to do things, which does bother me cus i dont understand it cus i feel i wanna do things but i cnt be bothered even if its as simple as sorting my laptop out to things like going out to social events
-lack of libido which i dont understand but it dosnt really bother me
-finally the main symptom iv got about 3 times today is a random sad feeling hich just randomly comes on, this freaks me out a little because how random it is and how i dont hav a reason for it

cheers
richy

[hesson81]

Hey Richy, Sorry I'm dry on guesses. You either know or you don't. I don't want to go ruffeling feathers. I noticed someone says not to question anxiety, and this is so true and correct. Don't always want to try and figure out what it is. For me though some days I can see what causes it, then I can label it and then recognize that it will pass and think about the things that I'm going to do to enjoy later on. It's going to be a delicate balance that you will find with time.

[richy1991]

hey guys

i totally get what you guys are saying, and for the past two days iv been doing that and yes my axiety seems to be clearing up
however iv been getting these random spells of sadness and i have no reason for them, tbh im tierd of not having any reasons cus if i hav no reasons then why should this keep happening?

the last few nights i have started having trouble getting to sleep and today i have had rather painful stomache pains, i fear these stomache pains are taking my mind of the anxiety and that when the pains go the anxiety will come back

i no you guys are telling me not to focus on finding the cause but i would like to let you guys know that the only thing that has changed in my life recently is my recent girlfriend
before i started seeing her my life was simply, work/skateboard in the day, come home, go dance/play games, go to bed. we have only been seeing each other 5/6 months. at the start we would see each other 2 times a week, then as time went by we started seeing each other 3/4 days a week. just before christmas we started seeing each other pretty much every day. over the period of just before new years to when my anxiety came on i was seeing my GF everyday, all day and her staying over every night

so basically we started seeing each other more just like all other relationships do
we spent a full 6 days and 5 nights together and on the night i had to take her home i had the first feeling of anxiety
when i got back from taking her home, my anxiety hit the roof and i had a panic attack, it felt like i had lost her for good even though i had only took her home
this made me cry but i knew i shouldnt have been feeling like that
i was just wondering could this be my problem, may i have a dependent issue that is causing my anxiety?

i am totally unsure of this because now i see her everyday and i still have been feeling like this even when im with her
so surely if it was a dependant thing i wouldnt be like it while im with her but it seems such a coincidence that this has started when i started seeing her everyday
im only worried about thus beacuse i love her so much and i dont want her being the cause
what do you guys think?

cheers
richy

[richy1991]

hey kev
thanks for clearing that up for me, makes it easier knowing its not "the GF thing"
i shall continue to just let the feelings and thoughts pass, i find it hard now but i guess with practice i will get there

can i just ask though, why does my anxiety come on strong at the start of every evening around 6pm?

cheers
richy

[richy1991]

erm not that im aware of
i dont eat at the same time each day so it happens before and after
all my family know what im going through so i dont hav to hide it i guess
ahh i guess it dont matter then, ill just take it in and let it pass

cheers
richy

[richy1991]

yeah im booking an appointment to see another doctor tomorrow and i'll ask them to take some

also i remember you saying about veggie juice, do you mean like carrot,tomato juice, cus iv been looking and thats all i can find

cheers
richy

[richy1991]

nope iv been asking around but iv had no luck, must not be an english thing
ill look into making my own then

cheers
richy

[richy1991]

hey kev

i went to see my gp today and he apologised cus he thought he had already put me in for blood tests at the start of all this, so iv got the tests tomorrow :)
and my counciler has came through, it starts next wednesday, so hopefully things are looking up :)

cheers
richy

[richy1991]

hey kev
yeah i agree with you there

humm :S your just like my girlfriend, she has shakes and she cant find the reason. it worries me sometime
good luck and i hope you find out whats causing them

ahh okay, ill pop into the next one i pass and have a look

cheers
richy