Um, new here and confused, undiagnosed

[anomie]

Hi,
I've been reading a lot of the posts here and researching on the net about anxiety, panic and agoraphobia.
The websites that describe agoraphobia definitely indicate that I have it. I knew I had a problem but wouldn't accept it and eventually decided to look it up.
Your posts are really interesting (and friendly)and I can see similarities with myself. You all seem very clear about what an anxiety attack and a panic attack feel like. I just don't know, I've no scale to measure myself on.
I think I totally avoid any stressful situations and take xanax and valium by the bucketload so I don't know how I really am or what I should try to do next. Maybe that's why I'm not sure how bad my anxiety is and if it's worth getting treatment.
So I'm looking for basic information and I'd love to get to know you and hopefully get some support from you. I won't bore you with specifics of my problem. I'll just let you know that I'm really uncomfortable posting this because you're a whole new group of people and I'm scared of you! :?
Thanks for reading.
Anomie

[miss_moose]

Hi Anomie,
Welcome to the site and also weldone for accepting that you have a problem, i know it's cliche but it is the first step to getting better because now you can work on it.
Are you housebound or do have have certain limitations?
I'm overcoming agoraphobia, i was housebound for about 4 years but in January his year i decided to work really hard at beating it and wrote out an action plan and i've stuck to it, Last week i achieved the most i've done since becoming agoraphobic, i went in 9 shops! Including in shopping centre and supermarket and paying at the checkout.
I can have some "normal" days now, but it's been really hard work.
If you want to i can send you the plan i stuck to, i wrote it out for other agoraphobics, it's meant for housebound people but you could also get something out of it even if you aren't housebound.

Aawww i just read about you feeling uncomfortable about posting, you dont have to be because everyone has the same kind of problems so no one will judge you *hugs*

If you just want to Personal Message me instead of writing a reply on here then thats fine :) Although you dont have to reply at all, it's up to you :)

Love Moosey xxx

[anomie]

Thanks for your friendly reply. Well done for acheiving so much this week. It must be a really satisfying experience. I'm sure it was very difficult too.
I'm nearly completely housebound. I can get a taxi to my mother's house if it's important but first I have to take loads of meds. She's only 10 minutes walk away. Lately I haven't felt comfortable in the garden either. Some days I don't go beyond my bedroom and the bathroom.
I never have any fresh food in the house, milk or fruit or eggs, because I've no way to buy them.
I cancel every plan I have at the last minute. I've been missing all my appointments with doctors etc. I have depression too. I think my psych could refer me to CBT if I managed to see him.
I'd love to see your plan for recovering from this. My life is passing me by, no friends, no job, no partner, just a cat.
So it's great to see that people can be helped. Some of the websites I read seemed to say that is was a chronic, ongoing condition. It's only got bad for me in the last two years so the habits shouldn't be too ingrained.
Thanks, A

[Bubbywu]

We've all felt the same as you at one point. I was homebound for 6 months 17 years years ago. I'm partly homebound right now because I haven't been working lately. I also take xanax, but try to only as needed. Your body can build a tolerance to them so the less you use them, the better they will work. Please write whenever you feel you need to. The feedback is very positive and helpful. We are all here for each other.

:D

Chele

[anomie]

Hi,
The day I posted here I called my psychiatrist and social worker. They both agreed to see me this week which was great.
I got myself to the psychiatrist today, told him my symptoms and he's referring me to CBT. He's making my case top priority so I'll be skipping the queue to see a therapist. I actually started going blank and lightheaded in his office and had to take tranquillisers in front of him. It was so embarrassing but worked out ok.
It's great progress and I'm feeling positive about getting out today and acheiving what I wanted.
I don't know what to expect in the CBT and I'm dreading any tasks that will make me feel stressed. I'm trying to mentally prepare for it. I'm 100% committed to doing whatever I need to do to recover.
A lot is happening really quickly and I hope there's some improvement in my anxiety equally quickly.
Fingers crossed for me :unsure:
A.

[Bubbywu]

good luck with your treatment. You'll do great. I've had anxiety attacks at my doctors office too so I know that feeling. It's sucks because we always get embarassed thinking that everyone thinks the worst of us or that we are weak. The truth is, is that we are extremely hard on ourselves and we don't know how to release stress properly. I'm seeing a Cognitive Therapist now to help change my way of thinking. Instead of the worst scenerio in my head, I'm trying to be more rational whatever it is. It's a constant battle, but when you DO do something you didn't think you could do it'll make you feel great!!! I use xanax and hope that someday I won't need it. I'm pulling for you and you sound strong so I have know doubt you'll do well.

:D

Chele

[DrSusanHickman]

Hi Miss Moose,

What a great response to Anomie. You are very kind. I am interested in how you took that first step to leave the house for the first time after being homebound. I work with a number of folks with agoraphobia. While I am their therapist and can give them sound advice, I would love to hear advice directly from someone who has lived it. How did you convince yourself to take that first step?

[[email protected]]

Hi. 39 years ago: Getting the right medicine and group thereapy eventually lead me out the door. Waiting for those days when I "felt good" and trying a few steps at a time worked for me. My life now: I go to work, to walmart on good days. I know my good days when I wake up, if it's good I can feel it and am anxious to be out in sunlight.
Bob

[alankay]

Amonie, have you been on an ssri? You should ask about starting a slow upward taper(prozac/zoloft) which will eventually(might worsen it but only at first) reduce your anxiety and lower your anxiety/panic. Counseling and CBT should also help. Alankay.