I'm New.

[Robin]

Hi Everyone ~

It's amazing the amount of stuff you come up with when you Google "anxiety"......and my Google led me here.

My name is Robin. I've been dealing with this whole anxiety thing for about 7 1/2 years now.....and lately I've been feeling like I'm fighting a losing battle.

I don't take meds (part of my anxiety is fear of medication!) and I've been trying my hardest to face it on my own. I truly think I've done okay so far, but lately I feel overwhelmed.

I'm not sure if I'm suppose to "tell my story" or what......maybe someone can let me know. But I am hoping to meet some people that can atleast identify with all those crazy feelings......and maybe even learn some coping techniques.

[Vyethi]

This is an anxiety furom, tell us whats wrong, and i'm sure everybody will try to help. I am no docter but I will try to help.

[Fliss]

Hello Robin,
I am brand new on this site too. Your message touched me. I am in my late twenties and have suffered from what has recently been diagnosed as generalised anxiety disorder for about 10 years. It comes in stages but I have recently been suffering from severe panic symptoms (hyperventilation), linked to a new job I have. I see a therapist but one session every 2 weeks is far from sufficient and I feel like I absolutely have to do something. I do not take any medication as I am scared of that - I seem to worry about everything. To meet me, you would not be able to tell that I am highly anxious but it is ruining my life. I am a hugely sensitive but (I would also like to think) kind person - yet my self-esteem has rocketed over the past few weeks since these severe attacks.
I would like to meet people similar to myself and work through some coping strategies with them.
Hope to hear from you.

[Irish]

Thats the way I feel too.

If I met up with a few people that suffer from the same thing as me I think I could beat this quicker.

[Robin]

Well, I wish that I could tell you what is wrong, but I can't! I think that is a huge part of the problem. Atleast right now it is.

I worry. Alot. About everything. And I know that I have a tendency to over-think things......I am (like someone else said) a very sensitive person - not only to my own plight but to those around me, even if I don't know them.

Over the last 2 months or so, things have just kept coming at me in my life. Normally, I can cope pretty well and adjust to things. But over these 2 months, I've been handed quite a bit to worry about. And I just feel very overwhelmed. So of course, my anxiety goes through the roof!

It's not a fun way to live. And even through the course of my anxiety - over the last 7 years or so - I deal with it pretty well. I'm not limited to what I do.....I can walk into a mall at Christmas and be perfectly fine. I eat in restaurants. I'm not afraid to live. The one area that it does effect in a huge way is driving. I had a severe panic attack once while driving by myself about 2 years ago......I kept on going, but with each trip, the anxiety got a little worse. Back in January of this year, I just stopped driving. My lease was up, we turned in my Escape and I just don't drive.

Now, I CAN drive if someone is sitting in the passenger seat! I can drive to the ends of the earth if you want me to - as long as I'm not alone. Explain THAT one!

So that is the only area of my life that is being limited from my anxiety....no matter how I am feeling inside, I am good at faking it and I get through each day. Amazing thing, at the end of my worst day, I'm still alive! You'd think that would tell me something, wouldn't you?

Every little thing that happens to my body is - in my mind - the beginning symptom of something devastating! Ugh! That's exhausting to think like that!

And just like someone else mentioned......on the outside, I am fine. I am a healthy looking, slim woman that faces people every single day in my job. And everyone on the planet thinks I've got my act together. But on the inside, there is a war going on.....

[kim]

Hey there,

You were wondering why you can drive with someone in the car yet cannot when you are alone. This is because this is where you had a severe panick attack. So in your mind you are terrified that it will happen again. The good news is that now you are driving with someone in the car with you - that's a start. Your passenger is your "safety person" which subconsciously reassures you that if something were to happen that person could take over or help. There is nothing wrong with that.

It's practice - everyday - that will get you back out there driving alone. You need to start out slow. Get a book/diary and write down each day what you do. Eg. 1st day Just sit in your car (don't go anywhere) if your up to it turn it on and just listen to it running.
2nd day Do the same as 1st day - continue to do this until you feel comfortable. Next stage - try to drive up your street and back. Continue this for however many days until you feel comfortable. Next stage - drive up your street and around the corner. Remember there is no rush and before you know it you will be driving around the block, then around the neighbouring blocks, then within your suburb.

If you have a bad day - write it in your book - but look at what you did all the other days - everyone has bad days. Don't try to much too soon - baby steps.

Also it also has alot to do how you think - when your driving try not to think ahead eg. if your attempting to go around the block don't start off thinking about that as your goal, think of each thing as you do it - "I'm turning the car on, now I'm driving out the drive way, Look I'm driving up my street - clever me, here we go around the corner - I'm doing it look at me." You see our problem is we think TOO much. It's sounds crazy but you do need to give yourself positive reinforcement for each little thing you do no matter how small. And at the end of a week or two you can look back at your diary and you will see an improvement.


Try abdominal breathing as well - this helps immensely.

Go Ahead - what can it hurt - you can do it - your already on your way.

[Fliss]

Hello,
This message is adressed to Robin but also to everyone else out there who has posted messages. What a relief it is to hear from people who are going through similar situations to me - I am 28 and have dealt with severe anxiety since I was 16. That's a long time to feel alone, it is a HUGE HUGE help just to know that I am able to talk to other people about this.

Robin, you mentioned driving alone and I want to reassure you that the fear you feel is not strange - PLEASE don't think you are alone as I go through exactly the same thing myself from time to time. For a long while I worked 10 minutes away from where I lived and I didn't need to drive, then I lost my job and I had to look elsewhere. Now I have to take the car to go to work, I have no choice and, believe me, at first, I didn't know how I was going to get around that. I'm not going to lie to you, sometimes I'm really scared - I panic and I can't breathe. This happened to me just today actually. I tell myself I'm going to crash the car. But I keep repeating to myself that I'm a careful driver and that I CAN do it. Most of the time now, I'm o.K. But I know exactly where you're coming from. I'm not sure of the best advice but I would say the best thing is to face your fear of driving bit by bit in several small steps.

I've been reading up on anxiety on the Net and one thing I think that is very common to people who suffer from anxiety is that we are too hard on ourselves. I know that I have a low self-esteem and, when I feel panicked, I tell myself that it's stupid, that there's no need and that only people with "real" problems (whatever that means) should feel like I do. But I'm beginning to understand that the more I beat myself up the worse my panic gets. So I'm trying now to just tell myself stuff like "you're feeling a bit panicked, it's o.K" or "you're feeling anxious? so what! it's not a disaster, you're not a bad person" etc etc. It sounds like hard work and it is, I am too easily overtaken by panic.

This is turning out to be very long. As I say it really is a huge relief to talk to people like myself. I'm not able to mail every day, especially not at work. By the way, what is completely ironic at work (and in other social situations) is that people sometimes tell me how calm I am! If only they knew!! I talk slowly, I seem to be calm but I'm often not! It really is an inner turmoil.

Thank you all for your answers. It really means a lot to me.

[Robin]

You are so right! People always think I'm the calm, pulled together one....and if they only knew the constant war going on inside me they probably wouldn't believe it.

I'm sure it's called "enabling", but since I have chosen not to drive at all (alone), my family and friends have been very supportive of me. If I need to get somewhere, they come get me.

I work from hom - which means I really don't need to get around alot......so I'm sure that doesn't help much, either.

When my husband and I go out on errands or something, he'll have me drive. Which is absolutely no big deal to me.....I can drive if someone is with me! Except for busy intersections.....I don't like those ever!

And you're right, it does help knowing I am not alone in my feelings or fear......not that I'd wish this on my worst enemy, but somehow knowing that someone else somewhere is going through the exact same thing........I don't know, it just helps.

[Fliss]

HI!
I was really happy to get a reply to my message- thank you. It's Saturday and I am exhausted, literally exhausted and thank goodness for the weekend because I really need this time to rest up before the working week starts. I hate living like this because I don't even like my job but the worry takes so much out of me. I suddenly have A LOT of responsability and I never wanted that but it somehow happened because everyone else is away (August is the vacation period here). So, anyway, I just about manage to hold it together at work but, what I note, is that by the weekend I feel like I have been run over by a 3 ton truck!! Does anyway else get that feeling? I know that it's dealing with all the anxiety, not being able to breath and having to appear "normal" (whatever that means), whilst making decisions for which I'm not really qualified. I just can't handle stressful situations....at all.

Concerning what Robin mentioned about being calm, well, that's true - I manage to "trick" people a lot, until they get to know me a bit. I'm lucky to have a supportive partner but he is the opposite of me - very cool. I think that's what attracted me to him in the first place and we've been together a long time now. I would be interested to know if other people have husbands/wifes/boy or girlfriends who are, like my partner, excessively laid-back? Sometimes I worry so much about him driving too fast or other risks he takes (he's the risk-taking kind!) and that causes big problems and we fight. Does anywone else have those kind of discussions? I'm unable to see objectively if my fears (re driving too fast etc) are justified or not.

Yes, it is wonderful to talk with someone about all this. for a long time I just thought I was the anxious type and it's only over the past few months that I've been able to put a name to the problem " severe generalised anxiety disorder". Because I have a lot of breathing problems (not panic attacks but more a panic disorder kind of situation) I was wondering if you would advise me to take medication? I have avoided it up to now, although I once took something similar to Prozac for a couple of years in my early twenties. I just don't know, I've always avoided meds because I feel that they get rid of other emotions too - any advice?

One thing that is really important I believe is to think positive. Thta's such a cliché, I know but it really is so important. I'm not the best at it and I'm very hard on myself - I beat myself up about stupid stuff. I'm currently reading a book called "Overcoming anxiety for Dummies" (Elliott/Smith) and I would definitely recommened it - it's full of ideas about how to believe more in ones ability to cope.

Thanks in advance for you answer (s) - to recap (as I do always tend to go on a bit) I would really like to know the following:

- Does anyone else feel as exhausted as me on the weekend??!
- Does anxiety change people's relationships with their partners?
-Any advise re medication for curbing panic disorder (notably breathing problems)?

Thank you again, hoping to hear from you soon.