Hey I'm New to this forum and pretty scared

[thacarter]

So i have been in my marriage for about 3 1/2 years and it has been nothing but one HUGE rollercoster. It started on rocky terms and eventually we started falling in love. we have a 2 year old daughter together and that in itself is a handful. My husband is still in the "hanging out" party mood and I end up at the house alone. My anxiety will get so stressful and bad that i will only focus on the issue at hand and sometimes forget to eat or I do eat i can't keep it down.( can this be considered OCD????????) I have frequent panic attacks and want to get a hold on these issues before my daughter is old enough to see them. I was told by my therapist to join a support group and online seem to be the only one that I felt somewhat comfortable with. Please be easy with advice i am new to this and EXTREMELY nervous :oops:

[Zuena]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forum.

I am sorry you are going through this.. (hug)

You will find a lot of understanding people around here. We are all scared of something or other but we try and share our own experiences.

Z

[thacarter]

well thank u for the warm welcome hopelfully i can find some successfull ideas and concepts to cope with my anxiety.

[Zuena]

Pleasure.

What is making you nervous? That someone here would say something that would freak you out and scare you?

Or are you in a very anxious state right now?

Z

[thacarter]

all my life i have let ppl runover and controll me and now that i am older i have to make sure that i have complete control of the situation or else i start to freak out and have panic attacks or when i am one of those ppl that have to make sense out of something in my mind and when i canlt that bothers me as well

[forwells]

Howdy

Welcome aboard .

We dont bite , well maybe little nips :lol:

Happy to help you all we can .

How about we start by you telling us a bit about your story . What are your symptoms and what is it that ales you ?

I wouldnt worry to much about wanting control in your life , i think we all want that and need it on certain levels and acceptance on other levels

cheers kev

:D

[Itzomi]

First of all, WELCOME! :)

I'm sorry to hear you don't have a lot of support from the hubby. Given your situation, who can blame you for being anxious?

Gosh, gentle advice is kind of hard... I mean, I really don't see how a support group is going to help you when it's not YOU who has the problem. I'll stop here for now. LOL.

[jj1983]

Welcome to our forum...I used to me in an "anxious" marriage..thank God I got out of that!!!!!!!As soon as I left I felt 110%!

[Zuena]

I was in a relationship for 3 years that ended 6 months ago. I married this woman thinking she was THE ONE and in many ways she was.

However, she was a total control freak and wanted everything to go her way. For long stretches while we were together, we lived in foreign countries and I couldn't work and for the most part couldn't make friends because of the language barrier. At first I did my own thing and kept myself busy, but little by little she started letting me know that she disapproved of whatever it was I was doing. I couldn't go out on my own. Not that she wouldn't "let" me, she just indicated that she didn't like me going with out her. She let it sound like she wanted us to do things together.

It got to the point where I sat at home all day. I kept myself busy surfing the net and doing web design. I also played some online games - which also had to stop because she disapproved of me talking to other people online. She even started leaving work during the day and unexpectedly popping in at home to see what I am up to. Eventually, when I had NOTHING left to do except clean the house and cook for her, she started turning the situation around by saying that I just sat around doing nothing all day, that I had no desire to get out there and do things or improve my life.

WTF?

Unfortunately, this had happened so subtly that by the time she said it, I actually believed it.

Being gay and living in a few countries where it was against the law or an absolute no no also made things a lot worse.

I remember returning to SA and one Thursday having a MAJOR panic attack. I completely lost it. That Monday we split up for good - and that was the last panic attack I experienced for nearly 6 months. No panic, no anxiety, It just about disappeared overnight.

I can not tell you to leave or stay - but if you feel that this relationship is not a good one, and not to the benefit of you and your child, you have to consider your options. Relationships are such a huge part of our lives and we need to make sure we are in the right one, at the right time.

Oh, it hurt like all hell and it has been a very long road, but my life has changed dramatically since I made the decision to walk out on her.

Good luck, I hope you can sort out your situation and feel better soon.

Z