What can I do to help?

[patt4179]

Hi everyone, I've just recently found out a couple of months ago that my girlfriend suffers from anxiety. She had kept it from me because she was used to hiding it in relationships, but she trusted me enough now to let me know.

I've read a good bit trying to educate myself so I can help her out, but she has had a much longer episode than normal and I just haven't been able to help.

Whenever she has an attack, she won't want to be touched or talked to, and the solution always ends up being her asking me to leave. She will usually be better after a day or two for a while, but I'm starting to wonder if there's anything I can do while I'm there. I feel kind of bad that the solution is me not being there, but I know that it's not her fault. The rest of her family will be there, so the only difference is that I'm not there. I'm really hoping I'm not the cause of her attacks. I don't do anything to stress her out. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I try to do everything I can to be a fun and relaxing person to be around for her.

Has anyone else experienced the need to be away from someone? Is there anything at all I can do to help her?

[Itzomi]

You sound like such a sweet guy!

That doesn't happen to me, but maybe since you ARE so helpful, that's kind of a negative because she may need "space" when she's anxious/agitated. Her family may not try to invade her space at this time (they may be used to it and know how to handle her/leave her alone) so that's probably why it's OK for them to be around and not you.

I'm sure you're not the cause at all of her attacks. But if she does not want to be touched, it's possible she had some trauma in her early years that involved unwelcome touching by a male. Just a guess, but things happen to young girls WAY more often than anyone realizes.