Hi I am new here looking for help with my spouse.

[JAY747]

My wife suffers from severe anxiety. I need help on how to help her in a positive way. This has been very hard on our relationship. I love her very dearly and want to help. It seem like every thing that I try just back fires. Can anyone give me some ideas?
Thanks

[Charmbracelet81]

Well I am the one that has anxiety and panic and my husband has to deal with me :oops: What specific situations would you like advice for? I can tell you what helps me that my husband does/doesn't do for me.

[JAY747]

Help with what works for your husband to due to help you. She spends allot of time in her bed room away from me and the kids. I try to give her space then she gets mad because I give her space. Then I try to be engaging and she gets mad at that. So I feel its a no win for me. I miss a least one day of work a week from this to take care of the kids so she can go to bed. Thank god we can afford to due this.

Thanks

[Charmbracelet81]

I get the exact same way. When I am like that, it's harder to make it sound so simple. Even though I seem on the outside like I don't care what he does, it does help me when he asks me if there's anything he can do, and I say no, so he leaves me alone. If he just didn't ask me I would be sad, but knowing he cares helps me, even though I want to be alone. Maybe talk with her when she isn't in an episode and say, I know what you're going through and I want to help you. Please tell me things I can do to help you when you are having a hard time. It's much, much (even impossible) to get through during an attack. For example my husband and I are going to San Diego alone next month (something I haven't been able to do) and I was having an attack just thinking about it, and he said, "Well, what do we do if you do this while we are on vacation?" OH THAT SET ME OFF!!!!! I got so angry!!!! The next day, when I was "ok" we talked and he said he knows I have anxiety he just wanted to know how to help me if I had panic/anxiety attacks while on the trip. I was much more open to hear what he had to say when my anxiety and defenses were up 1000%

[forwells]

JAY747

You want to help her then go to anxietycenter sign up and read it .

She is scared and trust me its a scared that you could never ever understand untill you have lived it . She is scared because she is just like you and dosent understand it but the difference is she is living it .

I guess you just need to be there for her . She will have ups and down . Talk to her when she is on a up and ask her to talk about it . Do not ever make out that her problem is simply and not a big deal . Again she is living it and even though those fears she is having may seem silly it is real to her . Surport her when she is down and this is a big one because she will no doubt be feeling lost . Tell her that no matter what you are there for her . You will have to keep telling her this my guess because she will be going over and over in her head how usless she feels and that she is not a good wife and mother . Just surport her the best you can and get her all the help you can .

I recovered so it can be done but i did it by understanding it and that is were that site above helped me .

Happy to help you with any ??

cheers kev :D