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View Full Version : Here's an interesting one - travel plans with a girl!



thistleburden
08-19-2010, 07:55 AM
For the past half year I've been planning on working on these organic farms in Italy and France with a girl from Colorado (I live in Scotland) after the two of us finished university.
I always felt a bit reserved about her coming over and about her as a person because I felt she irritated me sometimes whereas other times I like her company and get along with her when I'm not focusing on her negative aspects.

When she arrived I started to get stomach upsets, then headaches and then sleepless nights. She left and came back and when I said I didn't want to go to France I felt a little better and we had a great weak together before she left where I didn't feel any more pressure.
I was taking beta-blockers at the time but have since stopped them because I didn't like how they slowed my heart (and they gave me MORE headaches)

So she left and I felt rubbish and sad when she left because we had a nice time together and miss her. But I started thinking about going over to see her in Paris and continued to have mood swings, headaches and nausea. I decided to take the bull by the horns and booked a flight to go out and see her because when I feel happy I feel like it will be a great experience but when I feel sad I can only think negatively of her/travelling. I had a really bad anxiety attack just walking down the street in Edinburgh where all I could hear were the peoples voices talking so loudly and I felt faint/ill. I was counting my breath to slow myself down and it helped focus me but it was the worst wave of anxiety I've had yet.

I feel so confused about her and I don't know if it's the anxiety about the situation/travelling that's making me love/hate her or if I genuinely don't want to be with her.
And then I get anxious about NOT going to France and being stuck in Glasgow and not doing anything. I've jsut graduated and know I have to look for a job and a flat, but I really want to go on holiday and be with someone like I planned all those months ago.

What do you guys think?

Fishing_guy
08-23-2010, 11:53 AM
If it was me and I liked her, I would go get my girl! I mean, do you think you have a shot with her?

But, I'm a little worried about the love/"hate" part. Does she annoy you or something? If you don't really like her than be honest with yourself and don't persue it. It is only fair for her. But, if you really like her and think it is worth the effort to show up in Paris and do a little wooing, then grow a pair and go for it.

Also, at what point are you going to stop looking at them as "girls" and as women. You date girls in grade school, but at somepoint you have to start considering yourself and those around you as an adult.

thistleburden
08-25-2010, 09:44 AM
hahaah thanks Fishing_guy, well as time has progressed and I booked a flight to go I ended up having a panic attack and broke both our hopes by saying I couldn't go. My anxiety has gotten progresively worse and my doctor gave me some antidepresants which I'm not keen on taking. So she is now sadly at the back of my mind right now as I want to get better and at least level out somehow.

I know I should call them women, but at 24 I'm not there yet lol :D