miss.laurelle
08-02-2010, 09:01 PM
Hi, I'm new here, and I'd like to hear some thoughts/ advice on my situation.
Basically, I've always been shy, although my social anxiety is becoming more and more apparent, and is having more of an impact on my life. I went to college for Child and Youth Work and have continued my education in a similar field. I'm 5 years into my education, should be entering the field next year! My anxiety is affecting me in a variety of ways 1) at school 2) making friends 4) worried about my future.
At school, I'm basically a mute. I've never said a word in class to contribute, and to be completely honest I'm completely scared on participating, and having to voice my opinion/ thoughts to the class. My classes are all small, about 40 people, and there are mainly discussion based. But I've survived not participating thus far. In contrast, I do survive and am able to make the mandatory presentations, probably because I can prepare extensively and read from a paper. While discussion requires me to think on my feet, and I have little confidence in my thoughts. I'd like to be able to participate... but i can't.
In regards to making friends. I really don't have any. I live with my boyfriend. I guess it sucks at school, I feel like a huge outsider. I have trouble making eye contact. and I'm always just..unsure and dont have any confidence. I'm always worrying about what people think. I get very quiet, and I can't think of anything to say. I always feel judged and I'll ruminate on the social interactions I do have.
In regards to the future, I'm in a "social" feild. My profession requires me to develop relationships and work with people. Now 5 years into my school studies I worry I am not cut out for it. But then I consider what else I'd go into, and I can't think of anything else I'd want to do. This worry keeps me from applying to jobs I'm qualified for. I feel like a failure.
I've considered talking to my doctor, but I don't want my parents to know. I'm 22, I know my doctor can't tell. But, I worry they'll find out somehow...I also don't know what to say to my doctor. I guess I even have anxiety about talking about my anxiety. I'm also worried about the costs of the medication..
Basically, I've always been shy, although my social anxiety is becoming more and more apparent, and is having more of an impact on my life. I went to college for Child and Youth Work and have continued my education in a similar field. I'm 5 years into my education, should be entering the field next year! My anxiety is affecting me in a variety of ways 1) at school 2) making friends 4) worried about my future.
At school, I'm basically a mute. I've never said a word in class to contribute, and to be completely honest I'm completely scared on participating, and having to voice my opinion/ thoughts to the class. My classes are all small, about 40 people, and there are mainly discussion based. But I've survived not participating thus far. In contrast, I do survive and am able to make the mandatory presentations, probably because I can prepare extensively and read from a paper. While discussion requires me to think on my feet, and I have little confidence in my thoughts. I'd like to be able to participate... but i can't.
In regards to making friends. I really don't have any. I live with my boyfriend. I guess it sucks at school, I feel like a huge outsider. I have trouble making eye contact. and I'm always just..unsure and dont have any confidence. I'm always worrying about what people think. I get very quiet, and I can't think of anything to say. I always feel judged and I'll ruminate on the social interactions I do have.
In regards to the future, I'm in a "social" feild. My profession requires me to develop relationships and work with people. Now 5 years into my school studies I worry I am not cut out for it. But then I consider what else I'd go into, and I can't think of anything else I'd want to do. This worry keeps me from applying to jobs I'm qualified for. I feel like a failure.
I've considered talking to my doctor, but I don't want my parents to know. I'm 22, I know my doctor can't tell. But, I worry they'll find out somehow...I also don't know what to say to my doctor. I guess I even have anxiety about talking about my anxiety. I'm also worried about the costs of the medication..