somewhere along the way I lost myself

[j2005]

Hey everyone...

I've had a great life...40 now. about a year ago I had a panic attack...my first one. Since then, that life has faded away slowly.

I feel like something is wrong with me medically. I've convinced myself that I have heart disease or something else. Just waiting for a heart attack or stroke, discovery of hyperthyroidism, cancer or a tumor...you know the drill.
Been checked out by the docs a couple of times..EKG, bloodwork...things looked fine. but, no stress test or lengthy work up.
My blood pressure has spiked a few times...is too high at times and low at others. I never had problems with BP until the panic attack.
I don't know what to believe...is there something really wrong with me or is it anxiety...when do you know the difference?
I could just assume it is anxiety...but then find out an underlying medical cause.
I feel like my life is on hold until something with my health is discovered or I truly discover it is anxiety...I just don't know which is true?

Any advice?

[Charmbracelet81]

Hello. Well I suffer the same thoughts as you do. The way to find out if nothing physically really is wrong is to see a doc. After things are ruled out it definitely could be anxiety. I have "skipped heartbeats" and "flutters" almost everyday and they always make me panic. I went to the ER so many times last year and finally made an appointment with a cardiologist and had an ekg, 2 holters, stress test and an echo and all came up clear. I was diagnosed as "anxious with benign ectopic heartbeats." That didn't matter to me. I still am "waiting" to have a heart attack or a fatal arrythmia & convinced they missed something. I am in cognitive behavioral therapy and it is helping to rationalize my thoughts, but everyday life is still hard. My therapist even got a copy of my cardiology report to use in session. It is crazy how I can have so many state of the art testing done, and still, my negative, irrational thoughts, get the best of me.

[j2005]

Thank you Milan for your response...I appreciate you sharing your story with me...hoping the best for you.

[tony_macaroni]

Its frightening as hell when you first suffer it... I had a similar experience to you... nothing always healthy then suddenly over the course of a month the anxiety took over... I have suffered terrible flutter and irregular heart beat and i got incredibly paranoid about it..
I have to work hard to keep my mind off it - the less i think of it the better things get - but it is a struggle to keep my mind on other thoughts.
It does get better though.. exercise helps clear the mind of such thoughts.
The hardest thing is not letting your mind dwell on these thoughts and if like me you suffer massive anxiety attacks.. I find usually talking to people or jumping up and doing something on the spur of the moment takes my mind off it and its gone as quick as it appears.

[Mro]

Hi Folks,
Charmbracelet - just reading your story really resonates - it is so simliar to mine. Was also diagnosed with ectopic beats. It was so scary and even after that (this was last year) I'm still very concious of my health and escpecially my heartbeat.
Aniexty is really tough, I've been through a CBT process too. It just annoys me so much that I cannot master the negative side of things.

Still we struggle on :)

[JeffB]

As you can see from the responses, having severe physical symptoms is very common with panic attacks. I believe basically happens because our stress response is on overdrive, dumping adrenaline into a system even though we don't need to take any physical action.

I've had great luck with CBT. There are two other techniques to unseat mentioned too often on the form that I've also found helpful.

One is The Emotional Freedom Technique as taught by Gary Craig. His training DVDs are excellent, but he has retired and as far as I know they are no longer available. However if you Google EFT you'll find lots of resources, some for free, that will give you some idea of how to go about it.

The other technique I like is called HeartMath. It's more of a stress management system than an anti-anxiety plan, but I found it very helpful. They have a website. The book The HeartMath Solution explains both the science behind this approach and teaches you the basic techniques.

Hope this helps.

[drertudge]

Me too-twice, but nothing yet from the Kestetuhmek one...

Interestingly- all the PMs in my inbox were remarked unread- did that happen to anyone else? No big deal I was just surprised...